Not Far From The Tree

Even the village idiot sometimes reproduces. In this case, Dan Potatoe Quayle's son Ben, a Scottsdale Arizona resident, won his Republican primary last night. It seems I cannot escape truly terrible politicians, where I am in Indiana or Arizona. As a former Indiana resident, daddy Quayle used to be my senator. He was one of the dullest knives in the drawer, and struggled with public speaking and the English language.

Some of his memorable quotes are:

I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.

I have made good judgments in the Past. I have made good judgments in the Future.

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.

Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.

The future will be better tomorrow. We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.

We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe.

We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.

Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.

What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.

When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.

[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system.

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
Dan Quayle, 11/30/88

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
Dan Quayle, 12/6/89

Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.
Dan Quayle, 5/20/92 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change. Dan Quayle, 5/22/89

Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.
Dan Quayle, 8/11/89

Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year.
Dan Quayle, 8/18/92

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.
Dan Quayle, 9/15/88

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.
Dan Quayle, 9/18/90

We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.
Dan Quayle, 9/21/88

We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
Dan Quayle, 9/22/90
For NASA, space is still a high priority.
Dan Quayle, 9/5/90

Public speaking is very easy.
Dan Quayle, to reporters in 10/88

I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
Dan Quayle, to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89

With such an insightful male role model, it's no surprise that his son Benjamin has become the man he is today. His son, has uttered such things as: (link here)

- "Barack Obama is the worst president in history"
(he forgot James Buchanan, Herbert Hoover, and George W Bush)

and
- "And my generation will inherit a weakened country" (thanks to W's failed foreign policy and domestic fiscal policy, yes)

and
"Somebody has to go to Washington and knock the hell out of the place"
(isn't that sedition? inciting violence?)

Hopefully Democrat Jon Hulburd (link here) will beat this son of the village idiot, but in passionately red state Arizona, I won't be holding my breath.