Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Racist 'White Men Can't Jump'

Last week, on Martin Luther King Day, a small group of hateful, fearful, bigoted, southern racists lead by a boxing & wrestling promoter who goes by "Moose" announced an "All-American Basketball League" that would only accept "Only players that are natural-born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league". What a bunch of scared little white boys!

Moose said: "Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?" LOL! First, I don't like the NBA and all the acting that goes on (I was fouled!!! yeah, whatever), but if I was a NBA fan, I would not be intimidated by someone flipping me off. Being attacked in the stands? Come on, there's thousands of other people watching! Having a player 'grab his crotch'? Why does that bother you Moose? Were you intensely staring at his crotch? Latent desires, Moose, perhaps? I cannot even imagine such fear, but I have a pair, and don't need to grow any.

But I can imagine some creative names of teams... as have my friends JoeM and Matt. Many of them very amusing:

Birmingham [Cross] Burners
Macon Micropenises
Aiken Anti-semites
Eunice (Louisiana) Eunuchs
Washington (NC) Grand Wizards
Pelzer Paranoids
The Gainsville Gravity Bound
Pacolet Pigment Impaired
Hattiesburg Haters
Auburn Aryans
Talladega Intolerants

Or, since corporations are now people and are allowed to buy whatever they want, incorporate some product names:

Mississippi Crackers...brought to you by Saltines
Florida Trailers...sponsored by Airstream
Chatahoochee Pork Rinds...brought to you by Carls Jr (JoeM - you crack me up!)
Indus Idiocrats

And I don't think "Moose" understands what he is asking for. Webster defines "Caucasian" as
"of, constituting, or characteristic of a race of humankind native to Europe, North Africa, and southwest Asia and classified according to physical features —used especially in referring to persons of European descent having usually light skin pigmentation."

So people with parents who are Iranian, Tunisian, Pakistani, Lebanese, Libyan, Moroccan, Israeli, Syrian, Jordanian, Afghan, some Egyptians, Turks, and those 'swarthy' Southern Europeans like Italians and Greeks who used to be openly discriminated against in America in the early 20th century, can ALL play in this segregated league if they were born in the US, and are "light skinned". Do they have to be Christian[TM] too Moose?

I wonder what it is like to go through life so full of hate and fear, that you have to concoct a private little laughable league where only you and people who look like you can play, or attend the games? Pathetic.


  1. If only white men couldn't hump.

  2. but then Joe, you and I would not be here! =) I am kinda glad that some white men Can hump.

  3. And no offense meant to the cities mentioned here. The cities just have the unfortunate coincidence of being geographically located in a part of the United States that fully supported segregation, the KKK, and embraced slavery for a 100 years longer than their northern neighbors. The city names were mentioned here for alliteration purposes - I hope none of them actually field teams in the "All-American" league.


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