Long In The Claw

Dr Desert Flower and I found out this last weekend, that elderly US house cats (over 15 years old or so) are prone to being "Long in the Claw" in that they stop taking much interest in sharpening their claws, and like all carotene mammalian nails, the claws continue to grow.  Think of not cutting your human nails for more than a year or so, and how long they'd get.  Well, eventually, if you're a human who does anything with your hands, and didn't sit around with "dragon lady" nails your whole day, not even able to wipe your own bottom, your nails would break off.

Far worse than what we encountered.

A feline's claws have evolved to be more robust. Capturing and holding prey, the ability to climb and escape danger as well as hunt, and defend ones self are required if the cat is going to live to maturity.  So feline nails grow & retract in a curved manner, that allows them to have the nail "out" when it is needed, and "withdrawn" when it is not needed.  Our older cat learned many years ago to not walk on bare human thighs when they are sitting on the couch, as her claws would dig into bare skin if you're wearing shorts.  She only walks on laps and DEMANDS to be petted when one is wearing pants, jeans, sweats, etc.  Jeans are her favorite, as she can get a sturdy grip on a human's thighs in denim without stabbing or raking their skin.


So last Thursday night, I was wearing jeans, for the first time in many months (typically in shorts, every day here in Arizona), and the older cat decided "time for you to pet me" when I sat on the couch to watch Big Bang Theory.  She hopped up on my lap, and wobbled a little bit.   Some of her claws dug in more than others, and she exhibited relatively little grace or stability compared to what she'd always been capable of balancing previously.  Dr Desert Flower and I investigated her paws.  To our surprise, 2 claws on each foot were CIRCULAR!  They were no long "claw shaped" and instead, were completely rounded and had begun to dig into her foot's "pad". where she normally walks.  We were surprised, shocked, and somewhat horrified that we'd neglected our pet for so long, since it was last November near Thanksgiving that we had last trimmed her claws.  Since that time, she'd pretty much lost all interest in scratching posts, and had neglected her nails. 

Our feline nail trimmer was the "guillotine" type, were you put the sharp hook inside and the trimmer CHOPS it off in a guillotine like manner.  This was completely useless for the circular nails, since they were growing INTO the pad and there was no "hook" to grasp or insert into the guillotine.  We considered using human nial clippers, but by this time, the cat's tolerance of having her paws examined by humans was up and she was getting feisty and bitey.  I called the vet and made an appointment for her on Monday (they were booked for Friday & Saturday), and fretted about these ingrown nails the rest of the day.   On Saturday, Dr Desert Flower dosed out pet with some kitty valium, and an hour later the cat lost all feline resistance, even the ability to hold her head up straight... and we began the process of trying to extract and trim her nails the best that two non-trained vets could - though an experienced engineer and a DR of biology, we could have been much worse off.

I wore gauntlet gloves that have been designated as "Dad's cat gloves" for the last 15 years or so, both to limit the allergen exposure, and the bite possibilities.   The cat put up very little resistance.  Using human open ended nail clippers, DDF was able to shear off the nails safely, and not injure the the cat's pad or the living growth area of the "meat" or the cat's claw.  The fourth extracted nail can be seen on my leg in the above photo. 

3 of the 4 extracted claws that had over-grown and were starting to stick into her foot pad.

A very small amount of blood from just one of the 4 ingrown claws came out of the pad.   We considered trying to disinfect it (with alcohol or antibiotic cream) but knowing how painful putting alcohol on an open wound is for humans, and how much it would have smelled to a cat, and how often a cat licks its paws and claws normally, we decided against putting any kind of sterilization or antibiotic creams on the paw.  DDF checked it several times throughout the day and the rest of the weekend, and it stopped bleeding in less than an hour, and has returned to "normal" by Monday.  Keep in mind also, that house cats have enzymes in their saliva that act like antibiotics, killing bacteria.  Our son, in 3rd grade, did an awesome science experiment that showed the agar plates swabbed in the cat's mouth were 100X cleaner than the human's or a dog's mouth - but he lost to a stupid volcano project, probably because his project was So Awesome, it was above the comprehension of the inadequate Indiana primary school judges and they figured DDF perhaps did it all for him (which she didn't!).

I've since marked my Outlook calendar to remind me to trim the cat's claws each week, and I spent an hour grooming the cat and generating a box of hair on Sunday afternoon  before settling down to watch an awesome football game on DVR. On Monday morning, I called and canceled the vet appointment, since DDF and I were able to carefully re-mediate the issue, and saved a $100 (or more) vet bill.

An Open Internet? Not For Long.

Tomorrow, when Wikipedia goes dark, and thousands of non-US based websites will begin to be tracked by your internet service provider (ISP) because they don't want to be held 'liable' or 'aiding & abetting' in the newest attempt by Hollywood and well connected US political elites who are Extremely well funded by the US Chamber of Commerce, large movie studios, and other so called "content providers" who want to isolate the US as some imaginary bastion of "non piracy", don't hesitate to call your congressman and senators to express your disdain about how congress (and the EU) want to limit internet access, and eventually, block your tweets, block blog postings, and "clamp down" on any internet access with which "content providers" do not agree.

Harry Reid said that the Senate will vote on this the 2nd day they are back in session, January 24th.  Great.  Watch the beholden-to-special-interests vote for it without hesitation.

Minus 17 At Lambeau Field!

The Giants proved today, that Aaron Rodgers & the Greenbay Packers are not Unbeatable.  37-20!  What a nice birthday present! Very unexpected!

 

Perhaps it will be a Harbaugh vs Harbaugh superbowl?

Not a Canadian, But...

I'm not Canadian, but I know lots of very nice Canadians, and relatively few Canadian assholes.  I'm sure Canada has its fair share, but in the US they're easier to spot, and they're very vocal.  So when I saw this apology about Harper, it made me feel good that not only my country elected a moron in W, twice, in the last 12 years, but Canada has elected their own train wreck as well.  Hopefully they can pull their nose up out of the dive they're taking, or at least level off if they can't get back to the same nice cruising altitude they used to fly.

Red October Over Christmas

While our son was visiting at Christmas, he stated he'd never seen The Hunt For Red October, which I'd been quoting to him most of his life.  So Dr Desert Flower downloaded it for $5 from Amazon, and we watched this classic together one night.   It's one of my favorite movies of all time, well written, well acted, with a plot that makes you think and keeps you guessing.  Connery as a Russian Submarine Captain (with a Scottish Accent) was initially hard to believe, but as my friend Knucklesplitter is found of saying, in a perfect Connery accent:  "how many dragons do you know?" 

Some of the choice HFRO quotes are below:

Jack Ryan: I can never sleep on a plane. Turbulence.
Flight Attendant: Pardon?
Jack Ryan: Turbulence. Solar radiation heats the Earth's crust, warm air rises, cold air descends - turbulence. I, I don't like that.


Capt. Vasili Borodin: I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a "recreational vehicle." And drive from state to state. Do they let you do that?
Captain Ramius: I suppose.
Capt. Vasili Borodin: No papers?
Captain Ramius: No papers, state to state.
Capt. Vasili Borodin: Well then, in winter I will live in... Arizona. Actually, I think I will need two wives.

Adm. Painter: What's his plan?
Jack Ryan: His plan?
Adm. Painter: Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan.

Capt. Bart Mancuso: That's all right, Mr Ryan. My Morse is so rusty, I could be sending him dimensions on Playmate of the Month.


Captain Ramius: What books did you write?
Jack Ryan: I wrote a biography of, of Admiral Halsey, called "The Fighting Sailor", about, uh, naval combat tactics...
Captain Ramius: I know this book!
Capt. Vasili Borodin: Torpedo impact...
Captain Ramius: Your conclusions were all wrong, Ryan...
Capt. Vasili Borodin: ...10 seconds.
Captain Ramius: ...Halsey acted stupidly.


Captain Ramius: When he reached the New World, Cortez burned his ships. As a result his men were well motivated.


Captain Ramius: Re-verify our range to target... one ping only.
Capt. Vasili Borodin: Captain, I - I - I just...
Captain Ramius: Give me a ping, Vasili. One ping only, please.
Capt. Vasili Borodin: Aye, Captain.


Captain Ramius: We must give this American a wide berth.


Capt. Vasili Borodin: I would like to have seen Montana.


Captain Ramius:  Right now, Captain Tupolev is removing the safety features on all his weapons. He won't make the same mistake twice.


Capt. Bart Mancuso:  Combat tactics, Mr. Ryan. By turning into the torpedo, the captain closed the distance before it could arm itself.


Andrei Bonovia: You arrogant ass. You've killed *us*!

Superhero Math

Rapists & Murderers Love Their Barbour

Barbour Approximation

Convicted Rapists and Murderers in Mississippi really love their Barbour.  Haley Barbour, former Mississippi Governor and RNC Chairman pardoned an unprecedented 193 convicted criminals this week on his last day in office.  (link here).  These aren't "suspected" criminals, these are "convicted" criminals... of course...  they were convicted in Mississippi by Mississippian peers, so it's really none of my business.  I am just glad I don't live there.

Well I say, I say, I must say, that's enough to give someone the vapors!  Oh Brother, where art thou?  Fully pardoned now, thank you guvna! 

And what is it about RNC chairmen?  Foghorn Barbour.  Closeted crossroads Mehlman.  Mr."Fat Blue" Johnson muppet Steele.  They sure pick some real characters.

Colbert Super PAC Transferred To Jon Stewart

Last night, Colbert's show (link here) VERY SIMPLY explained how evil, ludicrous, despicable, wealth-concentrating, and wrong the Citizen's United SCOTUS decision was that opened the flood gates of the richest 0.1% of the richest 1% of Americans funding political campaigns, and how those completely non-transparent Super PACs can be run by ex-staffers, business partners, or relatives of candidates, as long as they don't "coordinate".  Ridiculous!

Colbert's lampooning of the entire Super PAC process has been spot-on, precise, poignant in peeling back the onion and explaining it, so that "even a 5th grader could understand."

 

I alternated between laughing hysterically, being disgusted by how simple the transfer of unlimited wealth was with a wink-wink, and back again to  uproarious laughter (it's good we don't rent, so I didn't scare the neighbors).

Somewhat of a Collector - 62K

Since it's birth in 2008, JustJoeP has drawn 62 thousand visitors (around 120 a day now) from nearly every country on the globe.  I'm not going to get North Korea, but there's 2 South American, 4 Central Asian, 21 African, one Northern European Island archipelago and Greenland that have not visited yet.  I'm going to see if I can "plant the seeds" of interest to these non-visitors by doing a Colbert-esque "Better know a ____" Country focus on Guyana, Suriname, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Greenland, Svalbard (Spitsbergen & Nordaustlandet) and the 20 African nations, here and there in 2012 before reaching JustJoeP's 4th anniversary in June.

HOPE You Don't Get Indefinitely Detained

So the Obama Administration won't enforce it.  Ok... you can bet your life (and your liberty and any pursuit of happiness) that a Republican Administration certainly will enforce the newest Defense Re-authorization law that walks all over the constitution, with glee.

Ritchie, Downey & Law Do Not Disappoint Again

Two years ago, Guy Ritichie brought movie goers his first Sherlock Holmes movie. (link here) Dr Desert Flower and I watched it on Netflix about 6 months after it came out in the theaters, and enjoyed it a great deal.  Having it on DVD made it easy to "go back" and "rewind" in the rapid dialogue, complex & richly detailed scenes, and "absorb" the various aspects that Holmes (played wonderfully by Robert Downey Jr) observed in the most nonchalant manner, as easily and simply as breathing or walking.  It was a fast paced, turbulent rush of a film, and it made the movie-goer THINK.  We enjoyed it.

Ritchie's second rendition, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, was not a disappointment. Over the Christmas holiday while our son was here, we went as a family to a matinee and found the theater to be 80% full.  While the slow motion scenes (as show above) were somewhat superfluous - special effects for special effects sake - Ritchie kept the same pace, intensity, and detail as he had in Game of Shadows.  It made me wish I had it on DVR or DVD so I could go back and "rewind" it again.

I'd read that originally they wanted to cast Jude Law as Holmes and not Watson.  Very glad that they didn't make that mistake.  Downey is ideal for the part, and for the majority of the film is "playing himself" which always lends to believability.

WX Imports NOT Grey Goose Makes Kirkland Vodka

The interwebs are a great thing.  Many people think Grey Goose makes Kirkland Vodka, because the size of the bottle is similar, Costco displays them next to each other, they are both made in Cognac France, and they are both delicious, high quality vodkas.  But the Grey Goose liaison is a common misconception.  WX Imports (link here) manufactures vodka for Costco under the Kirkland brand name.  Now, is it possible that WX Imports buys some vodka from Grey Goose and rebrands / rebottles it as Kirkland?  That's possible.  Grey Goose might not want to "taint" its reputation with making a discount branded vodka, but to my palate, my cranium, and my liver, it doesn't matter.  Costco vodka has never given me a hangover.  It's quality stuff.

A Black McRussian

I invented a new drink to have as a nice-time "sure to put you asleep" cocktail this week (while watching The Daily Show and Colbert Report on DVR, home alone, of course).

1 Large 12 ounce glass
6 ounces of large ice cubes
Costco Vodka (made by Grey Goose, I think)
Kahlua
Baileys
1 spoon or butter knife

Fill the large glass 1/2 to 2/3rds full of ice.
Cover the ice with ample amounts of Vodka, until they are submerged.
Put one or two shots of Kahlua, to taste
Splash 1 ounce or less, of Baileys on top (you could use Milk, but I had Baileys available in the fridge)
Stir vigorously with teaspoon or butter knife, until the ice cubes are melted to approximately 1/2 their original size, and floating freely in the dark tan mixture.

Take an hour to sip it - using a straw is not recommended, unless it is a very small diameter straw - and fall asleep thereafter.  Do not drive or operate heavy machinery after you've begun sipping this delicious concoction. 

Colbert Report Gold, Jan 9th

Following TDS's awesome January 9th show, the Colbert Report writers did a superb job in their own right (link here).  Below, are some of the choice quotes that stuck out in my mind:

Axe Body Spray has a product for women. I am guessing it is mace"

"Star Freckled"  .. which changed the next day to "Uptrodden"

Dixville Notch

Fiddler's Cyst

Tinkler's Sack

"More wasted than a donation to the Huntsman campaign"

"Hair of the elephant, who bit 'cha"

"The speed of light. Not figuratively, Literally" R.Perry

"Iran has developed the warp drive!"

"Mormons are milk fed"

"New Hampshire has been sixty-nining Vermont!"

"The charisma of igneous rock"

"Be gone! ye devil's scrotum!"

"A Rod Choketh"

"Slave tail"

Magna Carta Quote: " If a man dies owing money to the Jews his wife may have her dower and pay nothing towards the debt from it" - won't go over well in Florida.

"Let our long bowmen go!"

"Keep the Parthinians from acquiring pachyderm technology." 

"carathard de lendi est!"

Hammurabi:  Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.  Both vision and dental.

Hot & Heavy & strictly missionary.

Blagovich people.

Bladder infection people.  Cranberry juice teat.

Blackula people.

It can be tough and a little nauseating.

I did not stay up for the guest, as it was past my "wake up at 5am bed time" and Dr Desert Flower was still working in the lab past 10:30pm, so I crashed.

Daily Show's Gems This Week, Jan 9th

The Daily Show has been ON FIRE this week, with one amazing show after another, but Monday's, Jan 9th, was particularly poignant and hilarious. (link here)  Choice / memorable quotes are below.

Pious Bologna

Two Debates, One GOP

Watching Real Housewives...

Scarlet Johansen, why so grainy?

As my father told me:  "Only run for office if you are rich"

"Assets not exceeding liabilities by a ratio of 30:1, not including foreign indemnities, oh dad!"

"I was happy that he had to take out a mortgage on his house to ultimately defeat me"
- "What a weird rich guy thing to brag about"

"Did I tell you about the time at auction, that I bested Richard Branson, bidding on a gold plated Dirigible, that I did not even want???"

Republicans Unite People!

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Wealthy

"No place for the politics of resentment"

"If Gov Romney would like to give back all of the money he's made from laying off employees & bankrupting companies at Bain Capital" - N.Gingrich

"Welcome Comrades"

"Oh, it's not fair! He's using unlimited money to buy influence.  Interesting...."

"Oh right, it's your platform!"

"Corporations are people my friend"

"It's like Mitt Romney answered the Republican eHarmony ad and now you're saying it is unfair, it's not what you meant.  Mitt Romney is the pure distillation of Republican Policies"

Release the Kraken!

"It's a very scary Kraken... don't you have like a mini-Kraken?"

Guest was George Lucas who was on to promote Red Tails, which he said took him 23 years to get made, and no movie production company or distributor was interested in it, so he did it himself.  When he started, he was working with 40 Tuskegee Airmen, and now, there's only 7 remaining alive.  "It's as close as you'll ever get to Episode 7".  Dr Desert Flower and I will probably go see it, to support George Lucas' effort - if it has a good opening weekend (January 20th) then he said there's a pre-quel and a sequel in the works.

Mind Your Doggy Please

Not that sacrificing to Satan, Jupiter, Zeus, Kali, the God of Abraham (Yahweh, or No Way?), or any other believed deity would have a substantial impact, it's the paradigm that amuses me here.

Good Luck Jonathan With Your New Nigerian Civil War

Nigeria, where it's estimated that there's as much oil under the ground as Iraq or Iran have, is quickly spiraling into a Muslim-Christian civil war.  1000s of people are fleeing their homes to escape the religiously motivated genocidal killings.  Muslims insurgents are claiming that Christian insurgents killed and then ate (as in cannibals, link here) the Muslim corpses.  Goodluck Jonathan, the "popularly elected" president (but a well connected crony in his own right), cut off government fuel subsidy payments last week to the country's rich plutocrat run gasoline companies who have gone on to pass massive price hikes onto consumers or shut down their gas stations altogether, bringing the economy to a halt, costing 2 Billion dollars in just the last week.(link here)

It will be interesting to see how the White House and State Department handles this, since a HUGE amount of Nigerian oil and natural gas flows to the Oil addicted USA.  If we had President McCain or President Palin in office, I would NOT be surprised to see US air strikes against the "Muslim rebels" or US Special Forces getting engaged on the ground as manipulated tools of the Goodluck Jonathan central government. 

We shall see.

Expect to pay more for your chocolate too.  Nigeria produces 1/4 of the world's cacao.

Mass Transfer

In just 21 years...

Que Eres Un Perdedor

So "reasonable" Republican voters in "Live Free or Die" New Hampshire, who are characteristically NOT fundamentalists, picked a corporate raider & liberal ex-governor as their first choice, a libertarian purist as their second choice, and a Billionaire's son who was also a conservative state's governor & former ambassador to our Chinese bankers.  I am on the record that Huntsman is the only Republican candidate who has a significant chance of independent voters picking over Obama... but hardcore Republican New Hampshire voters don't think so.

"I’m a driver, I’m a winner; things are gonna change I can feel it".  Beck keeps running through my head this morning.

NH? Not really, Nah.

The Microcosm known as New Hampshire is voting in a Republican primary today.  It doesn't really matter in the big picture, because the sparely populated and nearly homogeneously white New Hampshire is not representative of the rest of the US.

White people need to understand that their racial majority in the US is shrinking and get over it, learn a foreign language (Spanish, Mandarin Chinese, or French are recommended, to speak with the USA's neighbor's and land lords / owners), and treat others as they wish to be treated.  Maybe in 2 or 3 generations, the discrimination and abuses of the past will have a lesser impact when the Hispanic population begins to dominate the geo-politics and power shift in the US.

I'm Not Joe Paz on Twitter

I googled JustJoeP last weekend, and I found there's a guy named "Joe Paz" who is on the twitter.  While Joe Paz does look a great deal like my little brother with a much darker tan (similar smile and facial hair), he is not related at all to me, JustJoeP.   So if you've subscribed to a twitter feed " @JustJoeP " who's byline is "I'm just me no more no less and I make no excuses."  ... it is not me, Just JoeP.  Different guy all together.   Just as the musician in Austin (just joe p) is not a relation either, nor are the thousands (or millions?) of Danes, Dutch, and Norsemen named "Joep". 

Outrageous!

And dontcha know that the military creates jobs!?!?!?!?!!?  (Yes, just ask Egypt!)

Republican Primaries Summary

It's not just the 2012 election cycle.  It's pretty universal, across cultures and centuries.

On Bootstraps

“It’s alright to tell a man to lift himself by his own bootstraps, but it is cruel jest to say to a bootless man that he ought to lift himself by his own bootstraps.”

—     Martin Luther King Jr.
(On January 11, 1968 Dr Martin Luther King, Jr spoke at Ohio Northern University)

Eh, Cowgirls Steakhouse

Back in the Spring of 2010 I lamented about how lack-luster Tagliani's Avondale restaurant was, when I ordered "meatballs" and got one golf ball sized "meatball" on a plate of pasta.  About 2 months later, Tagliani's closed their poorly performing Avondale location, and it remained vacant for over a year.  A new establishment took up roots there a few months ago Cowgirls Steakhouse and Saloon.  I drove past it before Christmas, and made a mental note "we should try that place sometime."

So last night, when Dr Desert Flower got home at nearly 8pm, and we were both hungry, I recommended not going to down town Phoenix as this is "First Friday" and the Gayborhood in Central Phoenix where we would normally enjoy eating would be jam packed with hour+ wait times and throngs of artsy people.  I recalled Cowgirls and we headed West to Dysart Road in Avondale.  When we arrived, the parking lot was PACKED, and the bar and restaurant were full or customers, but there was no wait.  The friendly hostess asked us if a "booth is ok?" (DDF always prefers a booth anyways, as most wives do) and seated us with the proviso of "we're out of silverware right now, but I'll bring you some in a minute, we've really been slammed with the dinner rush.  George will be your server".  We perused our menus, and listened to the cover band duo singing ZZ Top.  5 minutes later, George arrived to take our drink orders.  The "Uno" Argentinian Malbec for me, and a Absolute Mandarin Orange Vodka & Soda for the good Doctor.  5 minutes later, George returns to tell us the bar only has "3 Olives" and not Absolute.  DDF acquiesces and another 5 minutes pass as we hungrily waited for drinks to arrive, and heard both kinds of music, Country AND Western. 

From the oxidized harshness on the palate, I'd say the "Uno" was probably opened sometime in late 2011, but it was a Saloon, so I should have expected that.  I just didn't want a beer & the associated carbs.  DDF ordered the signature house entree mushroom chicken (menu here) and I got a 12 ounce (not the bigger 16 oz) Prime Rib, medium rare, a bowl of special house chili and "flat iron grilled vegetables" as sides.  Expectations were set low, with the slight chance of being delighted and surprised, despite the rocky start so far.

The chili arrived in a small coffee cup, with a dirty spoon.  Since our booth was adjacent to the restrooms and the server's station, it was easy to flag down a passing waitress who brought a clean (or at least it appeared cleaner) spoon.  Chili was nothing to rave about. No kick to it whatsoever, which was surprising for a "Saloon". It was not bad, but DDF and DDF's mother make a MUCH better ones.  As I finished the chili, the main courses arrived - but of course, we still have no silverware, so we get to watch them cool before our eyes.  The prime rib was cooked rare, not medium rare, which is fine if I was cooking it myself and it was a double check ranch grass fed steak... but I wanted it cooked more thoroughly since I did not know from which industrial meat factory the beef had been sourced.  As I used to work in food service in High School and College, I am familiar with how well the kitchen often takes return orders, and the things they do to the food that's been sent back, so I decided against sending the under cooked steak back and risking food poisoning instead.

5 minutes later, George did arrive with silverware, so we could begin to eat our now room temperature meal.  The prime rib (served only on Friday, Saturday & Sunday, ohhhhh!) on my plate was about 20 pure fat.  This was not marbled in fat, this was in 2 large peripheral chunks of fat, now cold, at the ends of the steak.  It was tender & juicy, sure, but it was not an AWESOME steak, sorry.  The vegetables, if they were "flat iron grilled", must have been the wettest flat iron in the universe, because the baby carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower were dripping wet from the pot in which they were boiled together before being plunked down next to my steak.  Perhaps the kitchen placed the vegetable boiling pot ON a flat iron grill to heat it?  I don't know.  DDF could not (or did not want to) finish her second chicken breast, so I had a taste.  It was flat, bland, and covered in a tan substance that was reminiscent of Sysco Systems Cafeteria Grade industrial canned brown sauce.  Oh well.  She said her baked potato was edible, and we had no shortage of sour cream at the table. 

George brought us our bill and offered to us to fill out a comment card that would be worth a "free appetizer" on our next visit.  DDF said "I don't want to give out my email address again" ... and since we won't be going back, we'll forgo the free appetizer.  Just before we got up to leave, the hostess came by to offer us silverware... um..  ok, but no thanks, we've finished eating.  As we exited the establishment, we noticed the Saloon was still very full, but the restaurant area was 1/3 full at most, the dinner crowd having dispersed.  From a quantity stand point, Cowgirls did MUCH better than Tagliani's had, but from a quality stand point (both on food and on customer service) we were more than a little disappointed.

Raise The Steaks

While our son was visiting last month, he mentioned a hilarious King of the Hill episode he saw called Raise The Steaks, in which Hank Hill can no longer get delicious steaks from Mega-Lo Mart because they outsourced their butcher and everything comes pre-packaged, tough, and tasteless.  A hippie from the local Co-op tells Hank he can score him some grass fed, free range, humanely raised meat & organic vegetables, and thus the plot begins.  Our resourceful son found Raise The Steaks, season 12, episode 6, on Netflix and we watched it one afternoon after a hike with roaring laughter.  Links here, here, and full episode here. 

Some of the choicest quotes from the episode:
[at Mega-Lo Mart meat counter]
Hank Hill: "I bought some steaks here last week that were terrible"
Mega-Lo Mart Teenage Clerk: "Maybe you cooked them wrong"
Hank Hill: "You don't know me, so I will pretend I did not hear that"

[at the Hill's dinner table]
Bobby Hill:  "These tomatoes are delicious!"
Hank Hill: "Bobby, you know tomatoes don't have any flavor" (then Hank takes a bite...)
Peggy Hill:  "Hank, if this is what real food tastes like, what have we been eating all these years?!?"

[at the Co-Op]
Co-Op Member:  "Does anyone here know how to run a hydraulic power loader? The delivery truck is here!"
Hank Hill: "You're kidding, right?" 

It's an excellent, tightly packaged synopsis & summary of corporate greed, hippie inefficiency and frivolity, neighbor annoyance, and how broken the American food supply chain really is when a citizen is looking for delicious, nutritious, healthy & sustainable food to serve their friends and family. 

Inexpensive Organic Spinach Drives Salad Making

Costco sells huge tubs of organic baby spinach for just $4.  Sometimes we eat the whole container before it goes bad.  Sometimes about 1/2 of it becomes dark and soggy by the time we get towards the bottom of the tub.. and if we're in the mood for a quiche or some kind of cooked baby spinach, that's all well and good, but otherwise we just toss it out, and at $4 a giant tub, I don't feel bad about it.  It's healthy, low calorie, and tastes good too.

So this week, for several lunches and dinners, I've been voraciously consuming organic baby spinach, with a dash of organic vinaigrette from Organicville, sprinkling of organic portabello mushrooms, delicious Gruyere Swiss from Trader Joe's, and the ubiquitous Kirkland bacon bits.  Tasty, satisfying, and healthy. It's a good habit to have.

If you like baby spinach, you should try the massive tubs from Costo. 

USS Stennis Fighting Pirates For Iran

This news story is too funny, and writes itself.  The US Navy reported that they rescued and freed 13 Iranian fishermen who were being held hostage by pirates in the Arabian Sea yesterday.  The USS Stennis carrier group that rescued the Iranians is the SAME carrier group that big bad Ataollah Salehi, the Iranian Army Chief, warned “We recommend and emphasize to the American carrier not to return to the Persian Gulf.” (link here).

Maybe it was not so much a threat by Iran, as it was a veiled plea for help in fighting piracy in the Arabian Sea?  LOL!   Since the Iranian sailors were being held for just 40 or so days before the US Navy (not the Iranian Navy) found and rescued them. 

Did the US Navy throw the Iranians in prison, or demand "payment" for them from the Iranian government?  No, they fed them, and gave them medical attention after rescuing them.  How terrible!!! 

Dodge Caravan Illegal Clown Car Stopped Today

A DPS (State Trooper, for those of you outside of Arizona) office was driving along I-10 south of Phoenix this morning around 6am when he noticed a Dodge Caravan missing a bumper.  He ran the plate, and found that the mini van was stolen.  As he began to pull over the mini van, another car cut him off, and bumped his police cruiser.  The professional officer followed the mini van off the freeway into Chandler AZ and called for backup. 

He stopped the mini van, and other DPS officers stopped the car that cut off the first officer.  What did they find?  According to links here, here, here, and here, the stolen Dodge Caravan was driven by a woman who is a legal US resident who lives near Phoenix.  In her mini van were stuffed 23 people, all of whom are suspected of being illegal immigrants.  Seriously, 23 people?  I've stuffed 14 Spaniards (from Madrid) into a Ford Excursion, and it was a tight fit, but we only had a 3 hour drive to Atlanta.  An Excursion is MUCH bigger than a Caravan.  They must have been stacked like cord wood in that mini van.  The driver of the car that bumped the first officer, was the son of the mini van driver, according to DPS.  They had the same address on their drivers licenses.

First of all senor, you're not in Mexico, where bumping a police officer might work sometimes.  You bump a police officer in Arizona, and you're going to jail for assault on a law enforcement officer, or attempted murder charges... depending on how badly you bump them.  Second of all senora & senor, if you're going to try to smuggle human beings, do it in a vehicle that is not stolen, and don't be so greedy!  23 people?  Really?  Are you really THAT stupid?  If you'd have used a legal vehicle that was not stolen, and not over-loaded, and was not missing a bumper, you would have already reached the end point of your human cargo's predetermined (and pre-paid) smuggling voyage.

And no, Sheriff Joe's boys didn't make this stop.  This was DPS that initiated the contact with the suspects.  It was dark at 6am.  It was not racial profiling.  It was stupidity profiling. 

Thinking Is So Hard

Silly Brandeis

The very Conservative, Partisan Roberts court ruled in "Citizens United" that you are very very wrong.  We have a nominal democracy in which the voters are herded, driven, flooded with ads paid for by the richest 0.01% of the 1%.

Price of Apathy

I work with a guy who proudly says "I've never voted, it doesn't matter. They're all just a bunch of extreme politicians who will say anything to get elected."  It is hard to disagree with this mindset, given the state of local, national, and international politics today... but I really do not want the prices fixed for me and my family & friends entirely by evil men. 

Hilariously Lost

I want to post one of these on a public pole so badly... but there's very few wooden utility poles in my part of Phoenix.  (everything's underground, or metallic).

Unappreciated Spiders 9

This is the last one, for now...

30mm Chain Gun With A Trigger Happy Gunner

Ever wonder why the Iraqi's couldn't get out out of their country faster, and wanted no pomp or ceremony with our flag lowering and departure?   The video below is but one instance of 100s, or thousands of similar incidents, that occurred during the wasted, horrific, unjustified years American soldiers spent in Iraq.  French and Arabic Journalists are killed and quoted in this video, children are severely wounded, bystanders gunned down by enthusiastically blood thirsty Apache pilots.  It is not fit to show small children, but if you have kids nearing draft age, and they like video games, it might have a sobering effect.



12 million hits on youtube.  

About 15 years ago, when I was on I-65 crossing from Indiana into Kentucky, I got stuck in a traffic jam on Labor Day weekend.  A Air National Guard Apache helicopter squadron was doing an airshow on the Louisville water front, and three of the helicopters hovered near the bridge.  As I inched forward in traffic, I looked out my westward facing passenger window to see the gun turret that is suspended under the nose of the helicopter swiveling towards the bridge, and my Honda Civic - tied electronically to the gunner's helmet & eye piece.  Where the gunner looks, the 30 mm cannon points... it put a deep knot in my throat.  I kept saying to myself "we're not at war, their guns aren't loaded".  Reuters journalist Namir Noor-Eldeen and driver Saeed Chmagh were not as lucky as I was.

Impressive Aegis Antimicrobial Shield

I've recently seen (and smelled) the impressive Aegis Antimicrobial Shield that is being widely applied to socks and shoes.  The Merrell Moabs that Nathan Jr and I got before the Grand Canyon has Aegis applied, as do the hiking socks we bought at the outdoors & sporting goods store.  By itself, Aegis has no smell, and is odorless.  The literature says it is "permanent" and works "indefinitely" to kill bacteria that comes in contact with it.  As a practical engineer, I am often skeptical of product marketing statements that say "always", "never", "permanent" and "indefinitely", but Nathan Jr enthusiastically attests that his formerly rank smelling feet and shoes were "deodorized" by repeatedly wearing socks that had Aegis Antimicrobial Shield applied to them that he got last Christmas from us.  Having previously been repulsed by the stench of my son's Charlestonian (wet, humid, often beach flavored) footwear and feet when he lived with us in High School and would come to visit during college, I was justifiable impressed.  I bought some socks with it applied as well today, and hope to abolish foot odor in my home in 2012.

Looking at the Aegis website, it explains some basic chemistry to claim how benign Aegis is to the wearer, in contrast to how effectively deadly it is to the bacteria who cannot tolerate it.  Covalent bonds, positively charged nitrogen, and long "spiked" molecular chains are what do the trick (link here).  We'll see how many washings it really does last.  3-trimethoxy silyl propyl dimethyl octadecyl ammonium chloride ... hmmmm.  We'll see.

1st Five Guys

After our Vulture Peak Hike last Thursday, Nathan Jr and I stopped in Surprise AZ at the new Five Guys hamburger restaurant that opened up there several months ago.  We'd heard rave reviews, and while my son had tried Five Guys at the Washington Airport on a layover a few years ago, I'd not sampled this famous food that I'd previously heard so much about.

We arrived at Late Late lunch, nearly 3pm, usually a lull point in most hamburger joints.  There were only 2 people in line ahead of us.  Copious peanut containers were available, if we wanted to deshell our own peanuts, but we chose not to.  We'd heard the "fries are amazing!" but they're also coated in peanut oil and laden with superfluous carbs.   Since a "single serving" is about 1 gallon of fries, we opted to just get bacon double cheeseburgers, and drink our left-over hiking water out on the veranda.  Total wallet damage was $15.23 (or $6.89/burger + draconian & regressive AZ sales tax).  The cook your burger and make it to order as you wait, to your specifications, so there's no burgers "under heat lamps".  I had them put lettuce, pickles, and mushrooms on my burger.  Nathan Jr had lettuce, tomato, mushrooms, jalapenos and green peppers.  They'll put however number of toppings you want on your burger, no questions or arguments.  If you want 4 slices of cheese, they'll slab on 4 slices of yellow "American Cheese".  You want triple jalapenos?  triple jalapenos it shall be. 

While this is an interesting and alluring aspect that "goes beyond" the "special orders don't upset us" motto of  Burger King, most Americans apparently have no editing mechanism, and go "hog wild" on multiple extra toppings at Five Guys.  While eating adjacent to the parking lot, we were witness to a 1/2 dozen SUVs ooze out their baleen-like (baleen is French for "whale") denizens.  Normal sized teenage girls, with middle aged +180 lbs mom, and +200 lbs grandma with a knee brace, massively bulging cankles, four pointed cane, and severe physical exertion to struggle the 30 feet from SUV parking space to Five Guys door, which she barely fit through.  Young teenagers... your genetic future awaits you, predictably.  My son and I were - by visual evidence - the lowest body fat percentage humans in the whole place, which probably had about 80 people in it by the time we left. 

I enjoyed my burger, but there was no forks or knives available with which to eat the cheesy, bacon-y, mushroom-y contents and discard the buns, so I ate about 1/2 the top and bottom buns, and all the juicy goodness in-between.  I watched customer after customer get massive bags of fries refilled (free refills, I've been told), and most large customers gorged on peanuts while they waited the 5 to 8 minutes it took the 4 cooks to rapidly grill and make their made-to-order burgers.  Nathan Jr enjoyed his as well, and agreed that it 'hit the spot' after a long hike and climb, as a late lunch.  If I go back to Five Guys, I'll take my own knife & fork, and try not to focus on the morbidly obese fellow customers shuffling, zombie like, all around me.

Football Season Is Over For Me

Da Chicago Bears had a lack-luster 2011 season, rife with injuries, where they struggled against mediocre teams, and were obliterated by highly skilled teams.  For me, the NFL football season is done.   I hear that there's still some play-off games coming, and some kind of media extravaganza in early February in Frozen Indianapolis.... but I don't have details. 

I will be halfheartedly cheering - in futility, most likely - for the underdogs: Cincinnati, Detroit, and Atlanta. If / when that proves futile, later in January I'll be rooting for San Francisco, New York, and Baltimore... but it will probably be the Packers (of Fudge) against New England, with Aaron Rodgers showing that he leads an unbeatable juggernaut, again.  Oh well.   At least Da Bears might get a good draft pick?

Unappreciated Spiders 8

Vulture Peak Hike & Climb

Vulture Peak as viewed from the parking lot.

The 940 foot ascent to the saddle gets steeper.

So last Thursday, we planned to drive 43 miles outside of Phoenix to Wickenberg to the Vulture Peak Trail.  Vulture Peak is actually 7 miles South of Wickenberg, wonderfully remote.  We never would have known about it if not for Mahtab's "60 hikes within 60 miles of Phoenix" book.  Nathan Jr and I were to meet Mahtab at 10am at the tail head's gravel parking lot.  There were 4 other cars, and we saw 9 other people the whole hike, over the next 4 hours. 

Vulture Peak starts off deceivingly slow and gradual, as the trail meanders through washes and very gradual inclines with no shortage of weaponized "teddy bear" cholla fields..  After a mile and a 1/2, the trail reaches the foot hills and climbs steeply to the saddle crest between the peaks.  Upon reaching the saddle, the "maintained trail" ends, and you get to blaze your own path up narrow crevices and sheer rock faces to reach the summit. 

Chartreuse lichens thrived at the summit

Nathan Jr scampered up to the summit well ahead of Mahtab & I. We consumed the apricots, almonds, and more than 1/2 our water.  The trekking poles were a serious encumbrance when scrambling over massive rocks.  Nathan Jr secured my old walking staff "Donatello Style" into the back of his camelback. 

At the peak there were USGS markers, and an old ammo box with pens and notebooks.  We each wrote our names and dates in the books and put them back in the ammo container.
 
Nathan Jr said "this is what I wanted to do the whole trip!".  Mahtab said it was the most fun hike & climb she'd ever been on.  I thought it was great.  Highly recommended for anyone looking for a challenging trail that is sparsely populated, and that provides beautiful 360 degree views at the summit.

At the summit, looking NE (the White Tank Mountains are out of frame to the right).

Nathan Jr scrambled up the the secondary peak, and snapped this photo of me, 240 feet below.  The primary peak, that we had just climbed, is behind me.

Crowded Pinnacle Peak

Last week while Nathan Jr was still here, we went on 2 hikes as a follow up to the pre-Christmas Grand Canyon and South Mountain hikes.  Dr Desert Flower had to work last Monday, so we planned a Tuesday hike to Pinnacle Peak in Scottsdale.  It was a 3 mile round trip hike with just a few hundred feet elevation change in a very affluent Scottsdale neighborhood.  The trail is incredibly "well groomed" with flora labeled, hand railings, well maintained steps, and "trail rangers" hiking along the small mountain.  Our friend Mahtab who made the incredible de-boned turkey on Christmas Eve went hiking with us.  We met her at 9am along with 2000 other valley residents.  We were way over-prepared with water, almonds, dried apricots, camelbacks, and nalgene bottles.  We had to shuffle past hundreds of other hikers and trail "runners".  After 90 minutes we consumed about 20% of our water and none of the food, finished the hike and called it a day.  Perhaps Pinnacle Peak is a much nicer hike on a week day that is not on a holiday week... but I don't think I'll be trying it any time soon.  Seeing 2 or 3 hikers the whole day is a good day - like South Mountain.  Crossing paths of 2 or 3 groups of hikers every minute, heading in each direction, is less than enjoyable.  And the opulent displays of Dolce & Gabbanna eye wear, North Face active wear, and various perfumey scents wafting from passing hikers took all the "rustic" and "ruggedness" out of the hiking experience.

The kid in the hoodie was sporting a mullet, 70s style. Nathan Jr said we should send in the pic to "mullet sighting dot com" ( http://www.mulletsighting.com/ ) but I was not fast enough on the photo to capture the pure mulletude clearly.

Google Earth Captured Yoga

As mentioned in the previous post, the Winters here in Phoenix are very pleasant indeed.  On the Job's Device, Dr Desert Flower showed me last week how Google Earth shows our home - and the image currently on Google Earth is from January or February of 2011 (lack of leaves on westerly the neighbor's deciduous trees, progression of landscaping improvement in our southerly neighbor's backyard).  For those followers who got a Christmas Card, you can look it up too.  For those who didn't (you can email me your address if you want one next Christmas - international may take some time), the snapshot / screen capture is below:

The narrow dark rectangle next to the pool is my yoga mat. It's not wide enough to be a pool deck chair, and the 2 deck chairs and umbrella are visible in the image, adjacent to the mat.  From the shadow positions, this image was taken around 1 or 2pm on a cloudless Winter day (about 330 cloudless days a year in Phoenix).  It appears that I'm doing some kind of standing pose (Warrior [AKA "Land Ho!"] or Sirasana [AKA "The Reason..."] maybe? I don't know).  I don't think I've ever been "captured" on Google Earth before, but there's a first time for everything.