Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sideshow Glen

Last week, after Colbert's mockery of Glen Beck, I had to see for myself, so I DVR'ed Fox's "tearful rising star". Things I learned from Glen Beck's paranoid rants, stretched analogy props, crying jags, self deprecation, and rampant hypocrisy, include:
- Glen's principles are sound and patriotic, everyone else is not only wrong, but trying to destroy America
- Glen stated (March 23rd) "Big girls don't cry, but I do". He is passionately proud of being a wuss.
- Glen believes Bill Maher works for NBC, and assembles 'lynch mobs' against him (23Mar)
- Glen would flunk out of art school but he loves to make really bizarre sketches on a small white board
- Glen knows that FEMA is building camps where they will put anyone who disagrees with the Obama administration. He can't prove it, but he knows it is happening.
- Glen believes the Jews take your money (see the CrooksandLiars video here)
- Glen believes he's a televangelist
- Glen's stated he's a rodeo clown
- Glen's proud of not being a journalist, and called himself "an opinion maker". Wow, I thought humans were given free will and capable of forming their own opinions. How wrong I was! I need Glen!
- Glen says he's a libertarian, and neither left or right, but he only criticizes and rants and theorizes about the left, and remains reticent about his allies & audience on the right.
- Glen's the parent of a 'special needs' child, just like Sarah Palin, and he can truly relate to her.
- Glen's a recovering alcoholic who used to quote Jefferson and Paine, but now he's found Gawd and is 'born again'. Amen brother! That explains how EVERYTHING is completely BLACK or WHITE to Glen.
- Glen loves his country, but he fears for it! Yeah, he fears for it NOW, not when W and Cheney were practicing rendition daily, tapping our phones, torturing relatives of future suicide bombers and IED planters to inspire them to kill more Americans... not then, but NOW. O... K....

After watching 3 installments of Glen's rants, I can say that the CrooksandLiars compilation is NOT taken out of context. It's the highlights of the circus, not a fabrication.

If you are a visitor to this blog (or a frequent reader) and you believe I have mis-characterized Glen, please, let me know how I've maligned him. I look forward to your comments. I will not be watching Glen Beck again, but now I understand and appreciate the perfect parody of him that Colbert's been putting on the air this year. On target, precisely.

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