Sunday, June 1, 2008

A Guide to Christian Clichés and Phrases

I found this to be rather accurate. Sadly.


  1. "Homosexuality is an abomination to Jesus!"

    Translation: I am secretly attracted to teenage boys.

    Appropriate Response: "Amen, brother!" or "They will all suffer eternal damnation swimming in a lake of fire!"

    Inappropriate Response: What exactly did Jesus say about homosexuality? Not Paul, Mark, or Matthew. Jesus - what did *he* say about it, and show me in the Bible where he says that.

  2. Reminds me of the Colbert interview of Tony Perkins.

    "Do you keep Kosher?" Colbert asks. "I think it would really be better for the anti-gay-marriage side if they obeyed everything in the Bible, not just the anti-gay-marriage part. Don't you?"

    "When did Jesus talk about gay people?" he presses further. "Because I keep on looking for that so I could win some arguments."


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