How To Clean Your Own Hayward Pump Cartridge Filters

One of the chores of being a pool owner in dusty Arizona, is that you either have to pay a pool service to clean your filters at least annually, or save the $500 or $700 they'll charge, and do it yourself.  Hayward pumps and Shasta Pools recommend cleaning the filters every 6 months, in the Spring and Fall, if your pool is heavily used.  In 2007, 08, and 09, I followed that recommendation, and found that the main filter body experienced a 10 psi decrease in head pressure immediately after each cleaning.  This made sense, since with less contamination on each filter, the pump did not need to work as hard to push water through them.

Well last Fall, with the rescue mission to go get Nathan Jr, and the short stay we had with our son staying with us, I did not have a chance to do a Fall cleaning, so the weekend before I headed to PA and NY, I took out about 3 hours to do the annual filter maintenance.  I'll try to explain here, the process I use, and you can attempt the same at your home if you are mechanically adept.  If you're not adept, or don't want to spend the time, this is what your pool service professional might be doing - or they might be raping you and charging you exorbitant rates to change out each of the eight cartridge filters that go for $50 at Home Depot, or $60 at the Shasta store.

 You need the following: 
- ratchet and socket
- a good screw driver (I use Craftsman)
- something to sit on (I use a old kitty litter pail)
- something to rest the filters on, instead of gravel or grass (I use an old cookie sheet)
- a hose, with a nozzle
- a tube of silicone grease
- 2 or 3 small disposable rags, to wipe silicone off your fingers
- patience
- upper body strength and good lifting technique
- a day with ambient temperatures above freezing

Find a place in your yard that has a 6 to 8 foot "splash zone" where you won't be spraying your home, it's foundation, or pH sensitive shrubbery or desert plants, a few feet away from the curb (there will be over-flow of some water that will run into the street).  I used to clean the filters on the driveway,. but I moved to the easement between my property and the neighbor's this year for the cleaning. 

1. Make sure your pump is turned off.  Disconnect the power, and make sure it won't automatically turn on mid-way through cleaning.

2.  Valve your intake to draw from the bottom of the pool and not from the skimmer.  

3.  Relieve the pressure on the large filter body.  behind the pressure gauge on the top of the large filter body, you'll find a little relief valve that can bleed the air away safely.  Loosen it, and you'll hear hissing from the valve, and "glug glug glugging" as water bubbles up through the system.  Both of these are "normal" sounds.

4.  Remove the protective thread guard cap and don't lose it.  You'll need to put it back in place when you are done. 

5. When the large filter body pressure relief valve reads "zero" ("0"), you can loosen the spring loaded nut with a ratchet and socket.  Try to maintain the nut-thrust washer-spring-washer assembly stacking, after removing it from the T-bolt, so you can easily remember how it goes back on.

6.  Remove the T-bolt, and then give the filter body a large bear hug.  With a twisting and lifting motion, you can lift the upper filter body off, and set it aside close by in the shade (leave it in the sun, if you want to burn yourself when you reassemble on the heated plastic). Be careful as you lift the filter body, as there is silicone lubricant all along the mating o-ring seat, and you don't want to wipe that silicone onto the paper filters and contaminate them, or they'll turn brown over-time, as evidenced in the above photo.  The upper filter body weighs about 30 lbs - not so heavy - but it is cumbersome and somewhat unwieldy, if you don't have a 6 foot reach with which to embrace the large plastic cylindrical filter body.

7.  Remove the filters, one by one or two by two, whichever works best for you.  The 4-leaf-clover end caps are idiot-proofed, and cannot be incorrectly installed.  They need to be removed and cleaned as well.

8.  Carry the dirty filters away from your pool, to the cleaning area - I take them two by two, one in each hand.  Crowding your cleaning area with lots of dirty filters can cause the cleaned ones to get back-splashed, and since they are expensive, you don't want to leave them curbside for an enterprising entrepreneur to snatch up when you are traversing back to your back yard (ahhh, city life!).

9. Now the blasting can begin.  Make sure the pan you are using angles away from your feet, or you'll be soaked by the time you are done cleaning.  Place each filter on the pan, one at a time, and angle the filter so that gravity helps your sprayed water stream to encourage dirt particles to run Down the filter and onto the ground.  You'll find insect parts, hair, small seeds, disintegrated poly styrene cooler left over tiny balls, and a variety of small particles that have made it though the trash screens in the pump and pre-filters washing out onto the ground. Blast from the outside, at a downward angle.  See the photo, to illustrate my point.

The water and dirt particles that first come off the filters will be chlorinated, but they will decrease in ion content rapidly, as the hose water floods over the filter paper.  You'll be able to visibly see dirt, mud, thorax, wings, insect heads, hair, washing  down and off the filters over the pan (or driveway).  This is good and fine and shows that your blasting is having a positive effect.

10.  After blasting from top to bottom, flip the filter, and blast again from top to bottom, rotating in 10 to 15 degree increments.  This will help to dislodge large particles that have worked their way between the tight folded mesh paper.  Repeat this 7 more times, one flip on each of the 8 filters.

11.  Use your screw driver to gently loosen the drain plug on the filter body.  DO NOT over-tighten.  I over-tightened multiple times in 2007 when I first began doing my own filter maintenance.  It needs very little torque to remain in place.  Over tightening will cause the large white drain plug to BREAK and LEAK, and they cost $8 each to replace.  Don't use a pipe wrench to tighten this, unless you are very very delicate with a large pipe wrench.  About 20 gallons of water will come gushing out of the lower half of the filter body. 

12.  As the waster gushes out, each inside and encourage gravel and heavy debris to flow out the drain.  You can do this carefully with your hand, making sure not to brush the silicone covered O-ring to your waist.  A hose can be used as well, to blast them out.  You want to get as much gravel out as you can, before you re-assemble.

 13. There's a wing nut equipped drain plug on most Hayward pump bodies as well.  Loosen it by hand and encourage any small gravel (pre-pump) out the small drain hole also.  DO NOT use a large tool to tighten this wing nut.  Designers put in wing nuts so that the "average human" can tighten and loosen by hand, not with a wrench or pliers.  You'll damage the expensive pump body if you over-tighten.

14.  Blast the plastic and wire mesh pre-filters baskets with hose water.  Do Not "thump" them against the ground or your hand or anything solid, as the baskets are not made to survive IMPACT.  They'll break, or dent, and then you'll be out dozens or hundreds of dollars in replacement costs.  I did not destroy one, but I DID crack one of the pump basket's plastic strands slightly, and treat them more gingerly now.



15.  Reassemble the 8 filters back into the cleaned filter body.  I try to place the darkened, contaminated parts, away from the intake where incoming chlorine concentrations are highest, especially after shocking the pool.  You can see the dark spots in the photo here, some of which were cause by silicone contamination, and some of which were caused by high concentrations of chlorine adjacent to the inlet.  By rotating the filters this way, you can extend their lives several years longer than Shasta would like (avoiding the $60 / each replacement costs).  [Follow the pipe from the pump to the filter body, to locate the filter body inlet]

16.  Reapply a thin coat of silicone to the main filter body o-ring and o-ring mating surfaces.  Apply a thin coat of silicone to the pump pre-filter body basket cover seals as well, using your finger to spread the new silicone around evenly.  Clean your hands on the rags after applying, and keep the seals clean as the silicone will attract debris readily if carelessly left on the ground.

17.  Carefully, gently, slowly, lower the large main filter body down over the newly cleaned and reassembled filters, making sure not to "drag" the silicone covered edge along the clean filters.  Seat the upper body onto the o-ring, and do a small "rotation" or 5 or 10 degrees, to fully "seat" the o-ring into its groove. 

18.  Reassemble the T-bolt, spring & washer assembly, and tighten the assembly using the socket and ratchet.  Continue until the spring is fully compressed.  It will be loud, as the tightening progresses, but that's good.  All that sound represents friction, and that friction (and the spring) will help prevent the assembly from loosening up on its own.  See the video below, to illustrate my point.  

19.  Get a bucket of water.  You can draw it out of the pool, quickly, or you can fill up a bucket with a garden hose,  it you want to waste more water - you just blasted several hundred gallons down your drive way, or into your water tolerant shrubs.  I use the same bucket I sat on while blasting the filters.  Dump the bucket of water into the pump pre-filter body, and QUICKLY put the lid on, before all the water "glug glugs" out of the pump into the rest of the system.

20. Do the same thing (#19) on the wire basket pre-filter "leaf vac" if your system is equipped with one.  Much of the water will rush out of the system and back into the pool, but using the bucket to "prime" each pre-filter body helps to reduce the strain on the pump.

21.  Check the integrity of all your seals, making sure you don't have any caps or plugs out of place.  Loosen the pressure relief valve on the top of the main filter body, to help the pump from fighting against excessive back pressure.  Some schools of thought say to leave the pressure relief valve closed until you see large sets of bubbles coming out of the nozzles in the pool, but I think the pump is working hard enough to draw in water.  Further loading it with more head pressure resistance doesn't make good fluid dynamic sense to me (blog visitors are encouraged to rebuttal in the comment section, if you disagree).

22.  When you have checked everything, you can re-energize your system, and start your pump.  You'll hear air rushing out of the filter body, and you'll see water rushing in through the sight glasses into the pre-filter chambers as the pump works to load up the system.  Out in the pool, you'll see large plumes of air jetting out of each pool floor nozzle, as the trapped air is driven through the system.  When the main filter body is FULL of water, it will begin spraying out of the pressure relief valve.  Close the valve with your fingers - do not use tools to torque it further.  The pump body and leaf vac sight glasses should fill up within a minute or two.  If they don't fill up, you've got a leaking seal somewhere.  You'll need to de-energize, disassemble, and see if you've flattened or rolled a seal somewhere.

Each filter takes me about 20 minutes to blast.  Each pre-filter basket takes 5 or 10 minutes, depending on how much hair and debris are lodged into the mesh.  Total start-to-stop time takes me 3 to 4 hours.  Kudos to you if you do it faster (again, comments are welcomed), or better.  A successful cleaning drops the differential pressure across the filters by approx 10 psi, as evidenced on the filter body gauge.  When dirty, I run 20 to 25 psi (13.8 to 17.2 MPa).  When clean, 10 to 15 psi (6.9 to 10.34 MPa), cycling up and down.

I hope this helps.  If you have any questions,  or suggestions, do not hesitate to make a comment here.  The "How To" postings get some of the most hits here on JustJoeP.

DenTek Doesn't Understand Customer Centricity

Recently, I had a run in with defective floss.  "Defective" in that when used normally, on my teeth, which are not insanely tightly spaced, nor are they unusually sharp, the floss broke.  I looked at the package, and found that this dental product was being manufactured in China - that very clean, never contaminated, highest-quality-possible, never-compromising-on-quality, third world country.  Why China?  DenTek thinks it'll make them more profitable.  Lose your customer base, get bad publicity, and you won't be in business forever, much less be profitable.

So I wrote the company, finding a "contact us" email address at their website:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Dentek and Elyse Bender-Segall,
I have been using Dentek Floss products for a long time and have been happy with the product.  Today I was closely looking at your packaging on the Floss Picks, and I noticed a "Made in China" label.  This raises some concerns and questions that I am hoping Dentek can answer straight forwardly.

As an experienced quality professional myself who has spent a great deal of time (3 years) in China trying to source complex, high quality machine components, I am well aware of the challenges that North American based companies experience in China regarding Quality control, consistently meeting exacting standards, and complying with FDA requirements for products destined for the US market.  As I've traveled extensively throughout Eastern, Western, Southern, Northern, and Central China, working with both small mom-and-pop shops as well as medium and large, 10,000+ employee companies, I found significant issues with contamination, hygiene, code compliance, corruption, consistency, and reliability with the various suppliers and products they tried to produce.  My experiences were not an anomaly, as reinforced by recent findings of lead contaminated toys, and tooth paste, melamine contaminated pet food and baby food, toxic dry wall, et al.  I also understand the perceived fiscal accounting pressure US Manufactures think they must acquiesce to in out sourcing their products internationally. But all the "savings" of out sourcing can easily be wiped out by a product recall, quality issues, or bad publicity.

With this experience in mind, I would really like to know the following:
1) When was the last time your supplier in China was visited by a Federal US auditing agency?
2) Were there major findings from the last Federal US governmental audit?  And if so, what were the nature of those findings?
3) Was the audit conducted unannounced, or was ample preparation time afforded to the supplier, to put on their "best face" prior to the inspection?
4) Does Dentek have a on site, Dentek Quality professional stationed at the supplier in China?  By "Dentek Quality Professional" I mean a direct employee of Dentek, not a contractor or an outside 'certifying agency' but someone who understands that their personal success and Dentek's success as a manufacturer of the highest quality dental products are intrinsically linked.
5) Where is the testing laboratory located that generates the quality reports on residual contamination on your floss products produced in China?  If it is in China, what international certifying agencies have qualified the lab?  If it is outside of China, please let me know which country if possible.
6)  What levels of residual lead, mercury, cadmium, and other heavy metals, and other inorganic and organic contamination have random swabs of Dentek floss products, and Dentek floss product packaging produced?  I do understand that Dentek floss products are NOT designed or intended to be produced with any such contamination, but I also understand that the environment throughout China is unhealthy, and the cleanest, purest, most pristine consumer products can be quite difficult to make and export to the US in such an environment.

I know that for some of the questions above, Dentek may feel it is intrusive or proprietary and cannot directly answer, but I do hope that someone at Dentek will respond in a positive and cooperative manner, so that as a consumer who wants to use more of your products, as well as a blogger who gets 1000s of hits on my http://justjoep.blogspot.com blog each month, my concerns can be addressed.  I know it is possible to get high quality products from China, with fastidious supervision and a driving passion for excellence, but it is not easy.  If Dentek has a success story from China where they've conquered significant challenges and made tremendous inroads in quality improvements, I would love to hear about them. On the other hand, if Dentek has never sent their own Quality representatives to the China factory, or has no employees on sight, or simply purchases the floss products on a generic contract, sight-unseen, I will need to begin using dental hygiene products from other companies.

I would be happy to pay 50% more, or 100% more, for a safe product, rather than the lowest price for a product whose safety I am not assured.

Be Well
Just JoeP
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I asked 6 straight forward questions.  Yes, some of them might have been "proprietary" in nature, but each one was specifically asked to be able to gauge what DenTek's quality program was like, to help restore a "warm fuzzy" feeling that I had with their product before I found out it was made in China.  Did DenTek Consumer Affairs take any of my 6 questions seriously?  No.  They insulting sent me the following brief reply, 3 days later:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe,
Thank you for contacting DenTek.  As a provider of FDA class 1 and class 2 medical devices we are required to deliver safe and effective products to the consumer.  We do have in-house quality assurance and controls that adhere to set quality guidelines and our products are reviewed both in China and in our facility in the US.
Have a great day!

Best Regards,

Consumer Affairs
DenTek Oral Care, Inc.
307 Excellence Way
Maryville, TN 37801
Phone: 1-800-433-6835
Fax: 865-380-4133
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, this was not a true "form letter" response, but it did not address all 6 of my questions, concentrating on #4 and part of #5 only.  Not very assuring, no "warm fuzzy" and sadly, falling far short of what I expect as an experienced Quality professional.  No "if you have any other questions, please feel free to call us" or "if we have not addressed your concerns, do not hesitate to reach So-and-so at phone number 800-xxx-yyyy", or any such thing.  Just "we deliver FDA class 1 and 2" and "we have in-house quality assurance".  Well, the FDA is sorely lacking in inspectors, and the Republicans will not fund getting more of them,  And Dundar Mifflin, has a Quality representative, Creed, and that doesn't reassure anyone either. 


So I will no longer be purchasing DenTek products.  While I cannot recommend anyone else use or avoid this company's products directly, I can make my own decision, and the basis upon which I am making it, public, to the tunes of thousands of hits a month.  If DenTek has a change of heart, and would like to open up an honest dialogue with one of their concerned (former) customers, they certainly know how to reach me.

Ora Montepulciano D'Abruzzo, F&E

Fresh & Easy had a $3.99 Montepulciano D'Abruzzo last month when I stopped in to pick a few things.  It's hard for me to pass up a d.o.c. wine for under $5, even if it is a screw top - and more and more, the screw top wines are doing very well, quality wise, as the premium cork has been depleted and more and more defective corks are popping up.  The Ora was wonderful.  Not too fruity, not too dry, not overly oaky.  It was very good.  I agree with the other reviewers who have highly recommended it (here, here, and here). 

If you see one in the wine shop, snatch it up before they raise prices!  It went great with spicy dishes, steak, pollo asada, and was easily drinkable all on it's own as well.  Salute!

Poolside Is Better Than Bedside

I got home late Friday night (almost Saturday morning) after discovering how Continental Airlines doesn't know how to run a fleet of ATR turbo prop commuter flights.  My flight out on February 7th gave me a feeling of foreboding, when my Cleveland to Upstate NY flight was the only one NOT delayed in the exiled "D" terminal in Cleveland.  When I got to the airport Friday afternoon on time, and found my return home flight's turbo prop was late in arriving, and then had indeterminate maintenance problems, I knew I was in for a long return trip. 

I'd just spent a week in Upstate NY hotels, doing yoga each day before work on a towel laid out on the floor next to the bed.  Couldn't take my mat, since it doesn't fit in carry-on size limited luggage, and Continental and United are both sticklers about "1 piece of luggage + 1 personal item", and a yoga mat would have been 2 personal items along with my laptop.  While doing yoga in the mornings DOES give one the pleasant virtual company of Mika Brzezinski on "Morning Joe", it lacks the vitamin D producing sunshine and lovely view of my back yard, poolside.  And besides, my girl friend Anna seems apparently fascinated by watching me do yoga beside the aloe from her Ocotillo or bare branched Mulberry perches whenever she is not busily drinking from the blossoms.  Mika doesn't even know I exist - LOL.

So all in all, after 2 weeks in rural Central PA, and one week in Upstate New York, followed by 3 afternoons at home, I'd much rather do yoga at home, poolside, in the sun, than on a towel or towel-and-yoga-mat while on a business trip in a hotel.

Dutch Kinematic Study

I wonder what happens when this mechanism heads into the surf, or encounters a hill or post or other blockage.  Interesting kinematic study though.

Reeses Pieces

I was surfing the interwebs yesterday, and stumbled across this funny image.  The lovely Reese Witherspoon, and without it as well.  =P   I'd never seen this image before - I'm a little behind the curve.  I thought Ms. Witherspoon was great in Walk The Line. That wonderful film actually made me forget the wince and shudder causing reactions the Legally Blond films caused me. Not that I ever sought out the Legally Blond films, there was just a period of time several years ago where they were on ubiquitously in every hotel room I ever stayed in, but thank goodness that time has passed.

In the same spirit of language oriented juxtaposed fun, I also stumbled upon the work of Jason Bergsieker.  If you like the Arch drawing below, check out his Flicker page, here.  Enjoy =)

Chevy HHR Failure

The last 2 taxi cab rides from the airport home, have been Chevy HHRs turned into cabs.  I'd never been in a HHR before.  Though Dr Desert Flower and I were given a Chrysler PT Cruiser for a rental car on our ill fated 2007 House Hunting trip to Arizona, I'd never driven GM's "competitor" to the PT Cruiser.  (ill fated, in that we foolishly decided to purchase a home at the peak of the housing bubble after being in the Phoenix Valley only 5 days, instead of renting for a year or two and waiting for the bubble to burst so we could have our pick of whatever home we wanted).  I had "high hopes" for the HHR, anticipating it would do better than the PT.  Sadly, it didn't live up to my expectations.

The HHR taxis, though only a few years old, were showing a great deal of wear.  Though not unusual for a taxi to degrade, the Caribbean drivers assured me they were disposing of their HHRs within the next year.  The HHRs felt like a small truck, with hard suspensions, transmitting the bumps and lane indicators to the base of my spine.  There's no "Oh sh*t!" handles in the back seat or front seat for that matter, hear the edge of the roof where ti meets to top of the door.  Essential for holding onto during cab driver maneuvers and helpful when getting in and out of the vehicle.  The acceleration was anemic.  The interior, Spartan.  The seats, less than comfortable.  Really, not an impressive car.  I have to disagree with the Chicago Tribune on this one (link here).  It's not a fine "under the radar" car, it's lack luster at best, and to be avoided, in my perspective. The PT Cruiser gave up it's last gasps in 2010 (link here). I think it's just a matter of time before the HHR follows the SS version to the grave (link here)  as well.

Delicious Crooked Sky Duck Eggs

After a third week traveling on business, eating mostly commercially available salads and airport franken-foods, it is nice to come home to my own kitchen, and make some high protein eggs from Crooked Sky Farms (link here).  The duck eggs they sell at the Central Phoenix Farmer's Market for $6 a dozen on Saturday are wonderful, nutritious, and tasty (link here, although what the duck is FED will largely dictate what the test results come out to be, so like anything else, take these test results with a grain of salt).

Crooked Sky Farm's duck eggs need no salt whatsoever (in my opinion) but I have taken to putting a pinch of anti-oxidant rich black pepper (NCBI link here) on my eggs - at least while eating them in the lobbies of hotels.  It never hurts to do some thorough radical scavenging  =)

I tried another farmer's duck eggs, Chile Acres (link here) and they were good too, but they are charging $7 a dozen, and appear to have a smaller operation that Crooked Sky.  It is nice to not have to single source, just in case there's a disruption in the supply chain. 

142 hits Tuesday?

Wow, usually JustJoeP gets 50 to 90 hits a day.  Tuesday's posting Truth In Advertising, drew 142 hits.  I'm surprised by this, since it was 2 days lagging after the Super Bowl, and I'd figured it would be "old news", but hey, I'm happy for the eye balls and traffic.  When I checked the Google Analytics the graph was all thrown off due to the Y axis going up 50% =P

With all that traffic though, it was strange that I did not get Any comments.... hmmm.

Truth In Advertising?

Is there Truth In Advertising?  If so, I learned some really new and valuable new things from watching the Super Bowl ads this year:
Pepsi Max - if your girl friend is a controlling b*tch, drink Pepsi Max

Doritos - has some very obsessed, creepy fans

Bud Light - mediocre American beer has tons of Advertising dollars

Chevy Silverado - the truck is sentient, and some ranchers can speak "horn language"

Vin Diesel + The Rock + Bikini clad babes in Rio = huge box office potential for the < 25 year old male segment

Pepsi Max - has no carbonation in it, since it does not fizz when shot out of a cooler

Doritos - can reincarnate  the dead (grandpa's ashes, fish, plants)

Kia Optima - Kia needs to spend less on advertising extremes, and more on car quality

Brisk Eninem - I am not the target audience, I ignored it

Bridgestone -  helps those who hit REPLY ALL

Ram Trucks - you need more than one, since there are "strength in numbers"

Budweiser Bar Cowboys love to sing Elton John songs

Michael Bay  cannot resist blowing things up, or Transformers, again

Coke - gives animated dragons terrible reflux

Career Builder - best used if you work with idiot monkeys

Carmax - Understand simile like my 8th grade English teacher Mrs Buxton did.

Go Daddy - Joan Rivers confuses young men

1/2 time show - if I was deaf, I would have appreciated the over-the-top light show & ninja drum majors.  Sound sucked.  Maybe they got the Beijing Olympics choreographer?

Cars.com - nice analogies

Homeaway.com - test baby is creepy & funny

Hyndai - has the same problem Kia has

Adrian Brody loves mediocre Euro Bud, Stella Artois

Chysler - indignant, but your product quality still is lacking

Beetle - Bam Ba Lam, Black Betty. Very cool commercial, I look forward to seeing the new Beetle.

Camero - inane and randomly misguided commercial.  Sad, because I might have actually been interested in seeing a Camero

Discount Cab? Never Again

It's  cheaper to take a cab to the air port, than it is to leave your car in long term parking for a week or more, in Phoenix.  So I have adopted a method of calling Discount Cab the night before to arrange a ride for the next morning, and not getting a more expensive car service.

Sunday morning I set up my cab for a 6am pick-up Monday morning.  Prime congestion ramping up and traffic bogging down time.  At  5:55am I wheel my bags to the driveway and wait.  And wait.  And wait.   At 6:05am I call Discount Cab, and I get a surly, attitude filled dispatcher, who tells me our pick up times are  not guaranteed, your cab just left the airport and will be there within 30 minutes.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
30 minutes? then 45 or 60 minutes Back In against traffic, and I miss my boarding time of 730am.   Not acceptable.

I begin calling other cab companies, but no one is answering their phone at 615am.  The Discount Cab driver dispatched (we'll call her "B") calls and asks for "Jose?"  Jose???  Who is Jose???  She says she just left the airport, and has just been given my call.   WTF.  At 6:35am she calls to say she's arrived..  No cab in sight.   She's stopped a 1/4 mile away, her GPS confused.  When B arrives, she didn't bother to hoist her large form out of the driver's seat, I throw my luggage in, hop in the cab, and tell her to DRIVE!

For the first 15 minutes, she ignores the existence HOV lane, languishing slowly in the right hand lanes as traffic congestion gets into full swing.  I recommend the HOV lane and it is like a Revelation to her. As we near dowtown, B hands me her cell phone (which she's been trying to ineptly and unsuccessfully dial while driving) and asks that I dial it for her, as she dictates the number. Huh??  WTF again.

We make it to the airport at 715, security lines are long, and I make it to my plane with 5 minutes to spare.  Sweaty, cortisol filled, aggravated, vowing to never use Discount Cab again.  I like to get to the airport 30 minutes or more ahead of time to not rush, to not be stressed, to take my time.  "When you have time to spare, go by air".  Surly dispatchers, incompetent and unsafe drivers, no thanks.  I'll get a car service next time.

It's All About Timing, With Wine Purchases

I am staying in upstate NY near the finger lakes, at a small hotel, that is next door to a "bottle shop".  It's a anti-French bottle shop actually, in that they carry bourbon, vodka, cordials, but no Cognac whatsoever.  The other evidence of anti-French sentiment is a $10.49 2002 Pomerol.

Chateau Trotanoy 2002 Pomerol, and a 99 cent cork screw, with tax, less than $13.  Wow.  What an unexpected and delicious delight!!!  They also had a  Margaux that I bought in France back in 2000 from the same Chateau for $10, selling  for $65.    The Pomerol bottles had YEARS of dust layered on them.  Well worth the 1/2 block walk in a blowing snow storm.  (though it was in the 70s all weekend in Phoenix and I did yoga poolside each day while there).

Since I had only carry on, I will likely be stripped of my cheap cork screw Friday at the Albany airport, but before I leave for Albany Wednesday night, I am stopping at the shop and buying the last 2 dusty Pomerol bottles they have, and give one as a gift to co-workers in Schenectady.  $10.49 for a Pomerol!  Wow.  Delicious.  Serendipitous.  It is all about timing.

Bad Project

This is far too funny to not be shared, and MUCH better than the original Lady Gaga video.  For anyone who has ever done a post-doc, or worked in a science lab, you will not be able to get this out of your head.  The biohazard bags, serological pipettes, and lab diapers add amusement to the production value. 

Warning for those with small children, there's a little bit of obscene language (PG rated) in the lyrics (which run across of the bottom of the video). 

And those who posted negative comments about the video (here), need to lighten up and get a life.

Olbertunity Knocks

Jon Stewart and his writers deconstruct (link here) Keith Olbermann's departure, polite & factual Rachel Maddow, angry Chris Matthews, long winded Lawrence O'Donnell, the bombastic Ed Shultz and MSNBC's attempts to fill the "Olbermann shaped hole".  Yes, for all those close minded conservatives who incorrectly believe TDS is a mouth piece of the left,open your eyes and ears (again) and witness the irony and poignant hilarity.  TDS is an equal opportunity satirical platform.  The right (Fox mainly) just usually gives them alot more material.

"To the Olberfarm!"

On a post script, I did try to watch Cenk Uygur, formerly of The Young Turks youtube videos, and now a MSNBC show host... and all he is a Liberal version of Hannity, making snarky comments, self aggrandizing, and often petty, a calmer version of Ed Shultz, or a younger version of O'Donnell, not my preferred "news" delivery mode.  I'll stick to DVRing Maddow.

Lonely Days Are Gone, I'm a Comin Home

After posting to the FB surveillance and information gathering site that poses as "social media" yesterday, I got a host of comments about arm rest wrestling and sitting in cramped coach flights.

Ah, the glamorous days when air travel was fun (link here).  Now it's a cattle call, luggage wrestling match, and airborne infectious disease gauntlet.

Zoiks!! Is that Rick Karr in the center of the Box Tops?  Or maybe Matt Smith?  =P

Absolutely Cool Application Of Technology

My buddy Ron sent this link (here) to me yesterday.  Man, if I were independently wealthy, and had no need for money to pay my bills, I would quit my day job and contrate my 2 dozen years of engineering experience to perfecting these types of mechanisms, to help advance and improve the lives of those who have little or nearly nothing in the world.  Tip of the hat to Rufus Blooter.  Very cool stuff. 

PA Natura Carmenere

The very nice wine shop, (1682 North Atherton Street, State College, PA 16803) I picked up a $10 bottle of well know, delicious Organic Natura Carmenere which I've been enjoying a glass each day after work.  Wonderful. Healthy.  Delicious.  I am glad I brought my cork screw in my checked luggage.

Remy, not Salignac

I was eating at an Upscale restaurant in State College last weekend, where I saw a Salignac digestiv spirit on the menu.  Satisfied with my meal, and intrigued by the presence of a Salignac in the presence of Cognac and Portos, which I did not know what a Salignac was, I tried it, ordering a glass.  As I drank it, I thought to myself "this is like a Harsh Hennesy, or a Cognac with a BITE to it". It was a buck cheaper than 3 or 4 Cognacs on the after-dinner drink list, and it was "OK", but not something to recommend as "awesome".

The next day, on Sunday afternoon, I was in a wine and liquor store - as I tend to VOTE with my wallet, and despise fndamentalists who promote blue laws that prohibit Sunday liquor purchases - and I spied a Salignac on the store's shelf, adjacent the normal cognacs. It was several dollars cheaper a bottle (matching the bar's price list) than the Cognacs, and I was able to clearly read the bottle in a well lit store.  Salignac appears to be a VERY YOUNG cognac, not aged as long, not as mellow, not as refined.  Hennesy is sort of the "lowest rung" of Cognacs.   Salignac, is in the sub-basement, below Hennesy. 

Recognizing this, I bought a small bottle of Remy Martin VSOP, to sip at bed time as a night time digestive.  I am polishing off the 200 ml $10 bottle as I post this.  Yum.  Smooth.   Delicious.  Remy Martin VSOP is indeed my preferred Cognac.  Armagnac is even better than Cognacs, as my buddy Ryan agrees... but if you see a Salignac on a menu, and you are looking for a smoother, more delicious Cognac, then please avoid the Salignac, and let Courvoisier concentrate on making Cognac instead.

Warren Kimble's Disturbing Work

I am staying at a Hampton Inn that is blanketed with Warren Kimble's disturbing work, and every time I see one of his primitive human figures, disproportionate landscapes populated by stick figure trees, or non isometric barns / homes/ buildings, it's a cross between cringing, wincing, shuddering, and a thorough sense of revulsion.  Kimble's website lists his work as "American folk art", but I see it as a twisted expression of an elderly mind who sees the world and paints it in a way tremendously skewed from what I consider beautiful, expressive, pleasing, or artistic.  He touches a nerve, but it's like the nerve that is touched during a root canal, or nails down a black board, or the stench of the East Chicago waste water treatment plant, or decomp.

Take for example the painting of what might be a "girl" that greets me each time I exit the elevator.  Creepy.  I can't tell if it's a "she", an achondroplasic, a person with fragile X, a mennonite zombie, or all 4 mixed together.  I do not see the image as beautiful, and I've taken to intentionally averting my eyes.  On his buildings, every single building shows two sides with identically sized and shaped rectangular windows  that deny any kind of correct perspective.  Every tree I've seen on nearly a dozen "paintings" in this hotel is a gravity and wind defying thin 'stick figure' with identical 'umbrella like' foliage.  I sketched things in 3rd and 4th grade that were better quality, more pleasing to the eye, and less disturbing.

People actually pay money for this?  .  They are ubiquitous in this hotel.  Hallways, my room, my bath room, the exercise room, the breakfast area & lobby, Ew.  I am not an "art critic" any more than I am a "wine connoisseur" ... I just know what I like, and I can Definitely tell what I DON'T Like.  Warren Kimble's work falls into the latter category.

Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang

The first time I saw this video, I was in Milano in 2000, and it was on a evening "video show" channel - not MTV.  I could not stop laughing.   I heard it on the radio the other day in Phoenix, and it made me smirk.

Verizon Needs To Stay Out of NAM

I am a very slow "texter".  Everyone I know has a I phone, android, or other phone-like device that has an extended keyboard, allowing them rapidly send text messages to me.  I however, have an old Nokia with a 12 button keyboard.  I tried, ineptly to enable the T9 anticipative text option on Saturday night.  Within a text message, I toggled "options", and found it was already on "WORD" and not "symbol" or "numeric", so not there.  In the "Tools" menu, I found a "NAM" setting, and being an idiot engineer, I toggled it, not knowing what it was, and erroneously thinking "this won't hurt anything" from NAM1 to NAM2.

I tried to text message, send photos, call voice mail, and call my dear wife, and nothing worked.  Since I am in mountainous Pennsylvania I figured it was because I was in a low signal area.  I did not attribute any of the loss of function to NAM2.  I tried to send a picture of an ostrich swallowing a bottle from a Guiness promotional poster, no less than 12 times, to my buddy Ryan.  It failed every time.  The next day, I am driving along and I saw a Verizon Wireless store.  AHA!  They'll certainly be able to explain why I get no signal and a message that says "connecting to an eternal operator" when I try to access my voice mail.  I tried it in the parking lot, and indignantly I thought "we'll see about that!" as I stomped into the store.

There was a 10 minute wait at the very busy store.  I queued, trying my best to pretend I was as polite and patient as a British citizen typically is, and I never can seem to pretend to be successfully.  Various Erlenmeyer flask shaped customer service agents helped many customers, as I silently fumed and tried again and again to send the same messages futilely.  THEN, I remembered the "NAM" setting, and wen into the menus to toggle it, as a young female technician approached, and asked politely, "what is the problem?"  I toggled the setting, went to send the same message, and viola, it worked!  Thinking me insane, the young technician, who was probably all of 21 or 22 years old, asked if she could see.  I went to show her the phone's display, and she marched off with it "I'll be over here" as she scurried away across the store.  Huh?

I followed, not wanting to lose my phone.   She had headed to the technician counter, where she asked a senior tech what the NAM1 and NAM2 settings were.   They were both perplexed.  I said "I am not old enough to have been in 'Nam, all I did was toggle the NAM1 and NAM2 setting, and the phone didn't work, so what does NAM1 and NAM2 do on a Verizon Nokia?"  The technicians stood around, shrugging.  And then the young female tech says "you should always leave it on NAM2".  HUH??

No, that was the whole problem of why I was in the store in the first place.   Had I never toggled it off NAM1, it would have worked.  Going to NAM2 disabled the phone completely.  If it had been a Alltel phone, it would have locked up and nearly self destructed - gracefully Verizon let me toggle it back without a mother-ship intervention.  I told young tech that she was wrong, and she immediately snapped back "what's your phone number and account password?!?".  'Account password'?  I have no clue.  Dr Desert Flower pays the bill online, and has not shared the 'password' with me.  Young tech demanded my driver's license.  I told her I did not want to renew my contract, or add any features, that I just want my NAM1 toggled phone back now, thanks, I'll be going.  She'd determined that I must be a phone thief, and since I'd insulted her intelligence telling her she was wrong (she really Was Wrong) she was going to confiscate my phone if I could not prove it was mine.

Driver's licensed tendered, she compared it to the address on her screen, and was satisfied that I was not a cellular thief.  Handing me back the phone, she repeated her erroneous recommendation to "leave it on NAM2", and I reiterated that "No, NAM2 was the problem, it needs to be on NAM1, thanks anyways."

Googling NAM and Verizon and Nokia, I determined that the NAM settings were where the phone stores it's identity, and should not be messed with (link here).   I also determined that my phone cannot do T9, so therefore, everyone needs to have patience with me, and know that when they text me, I cannot rapidly text them back.   It's an arduous endeavor, to send even the shortest of messages in reply.  And Verizon, you really need to stay completely out of NAM, you don't understand it, and your State College PA store doesn't know how to recommend fixes to confused customers who have ignorantly toggled the settings.

And yes, I need to get a phone with an extended keyboard, that can also send pictures to email, so I stop asking my friends to do it for me. It's annoying and inefficient for them.  I know. I know.

Elk's Club? Really?

Either I am getting ALOT older than I feel, or the bar tender I spoke to Friday night was not a very good reader of people.  Bartenders are supposed to, by the nature of their profession, be good people readers, as they serve up libations to paying customers.  It was Friday night after a long, hectic, stressful work week, but I did get to watch both Colbert and Daily Show while working out, and showered before enjoying a dinner of locally raised Asian pork tenderloin, and as I sipped a glass of Hennesy digestive, I inquired to the amiable bartender who looked and sounded like actor Toby Jones from the Dr. Who "Amy's Choice" episode (and Harry Potter movies as well, for those who watch that sort of thing) "What is there that is fun to do on Friday and Saturday nights in State College PA?"

Toby Jones's look-a-like ruminated on this for a moment, and mentioned that a theatrical play's run had just ended, and that the hockey team was not playing this weekend, and then he said to me "The Elk's Club down in Bouillard has comedy nights on Saturday".  Elk's Club? I've got nothing against Elk's Clubs, Lion's Clubs, Rotary Clubs, Knights of Columbus (except the KofC's rabid anti-abortion activism), and other civic minded "clubs", I've just never a) been much of a club joiner and b) was not born before or during the Eisenhower Administration.  I thanked Toby for his advice, paid my bill, and vowed quietly to myself that I'd not eat there ever again on a Friday night, or Saturday for that matter.

It sort of reminded me of the first time I was invited to a KKK meeting in Spartanburg SC, while working with the plant emergency response team.  We did fire fighter and first responder training, and all of the plant security guards were required to join.  I was the only engineer, and only salaried person, to volunteer and join the team, and one evening after work when I was in the guard house at the main plant entrance and talking to the other fire team members, the head guard from that shift said to me "We're havin a meetin this weekend, and there'll be a lighting ceremony. You can come. If you don't have your own hood, we'll give you one at the meetin".  A Klan meeting, really?  Did I look like a ignorant, bigoted, racist hate monger?  I politely declined, being about 30 years younger and at least 30 IQ points higher than the senior guard who was inviting me.

No Elk's Clubs, Klan meetins, or college bars for me.   I found a nice Bistro (Zola's) for dinner, and a Irish Pub (Kildare's) for a Guiness dessert instead.  More on those later.

"Heated Pool" Paradigm

I was booking my hotel for a business trip to central Pennsylvania several weeks ago, when I saw on the hotel's webpage "heated pool".  "Heated Pool"!?!?  Awesome! I thought, and I actually packed a swim suit in anticipation of being able to take a swim in the evenings and weekend that I had to stay there for the extended business trip.  It was 75F in Phoenix as I was packing my suit case.  The fact that it was 15F in State College PA didn't register, or if it did briefly register, I logged it into the "they must have one impressive and capable pool heater!" neural storage location.

There are lots of rabbit tracks in the snow, all around the pool area.  I've not lost my Chicagoian driving instincts, and the Altima rental car handles adequately, but a nice pair of snow boots would have been something good to bring.

Obviously there will be no swimming this trip.  The exercise room has a "True" brand tread mill, elliptical machine, and recumbent bike, along with a tiny series of wimpy "medicine balls" rated from 4 to 12 lbs.  Where's the 40 lbs dumbells, and the weight machines?  Oh well.

Sunday Afternoon's Prayer

Tip of the hat to my friend Dr Claudia and her brother Bob, for forwarding this nice little prayer:

Let us pray:  Our Papa, Who art a Bear, Halas be thy name.  Thy championship come, thy play be run, at home as it is away.  Give us this day our Sunday win, and forgive us our turnovers, though we pounce on those who turnover against us, and lead us not into fourth and long, but deliver us from Rodgers.  In the name of Ditka, Butkus & the Holy Payton.  As it was in 1985, so shall it be in 2011, reign without end.  Amen

=P  LOL!

And if you're a Green Bay fan, "well, bless your little heart" - as they say in the South East US.  You had your Jesus, he "retired", and then retired 3 more times after he left Wisconsin.   Rodgers can be your next Jesus, next year if he doesn't get injured or traded.

I just hope it is a good game today, and not a blow out, either way.  And Go Steelers!  New York teams are chronically myopic in their view of the universe (Yankees, Giants, Jets, especially; Mets not so much since they're more like the Cubs).

Infektion und scheußlichen Gemetzel

While I was working out in the yard today, I noticed something not quite right about my milkweed plant in the front yard next to the turret.  Parts of it had a yellowish, orange hue to them.  The milkweed is supposed to be green or blueish green, so I thought maybe my color sense was messed up for a moment.

Upon closer inspection, I found it had some kind of infection.  Not sure what it was, but it was definitely spreading.  I got out the hand clippers from the garage, but milkweed is a very fibrous plant and resisted clean cutting, and the garage clippers are almost as old as my son and well worn, so around to the back of the house to get the rotary assisted Fiskars.  As I began pruning, I noticed the yellow orange globs to be moving, and tiny little winged creatures with transparent wings flitting here and there amongst the colorful blobs.  This was not a fungus or bacterial infection, this was an army of insects, at various stages of development, eating its way into all the new shoots the milkweed was sending out.

I got a large yard waste sized garbage bag (ForceFlex, is a sturdy bag of choice, for prevention of punctures and  tears), lined an old liquor bottle case with it, and started tossing pruned stems in it, as the blobs slowly crawled and the winged variants flitted about.  Took almost an hour to clear the plant of the invaders.  Below many of the colorful blobs were darkened, sticky, non moving masses much lower on the stems.  I didn't know what those were at the time, but I pruned them off as well.

Turns out, it was not just one invasive species attacking my milkweed, but it was a grotesque symbiosis of Oleander Aphid (Aphis nerii) and a parasitic wasp known as Lysiphlebus testaceipes (link here, thanks Texas A&M!).  "In most cases, many of the oleander aphids become infested with a parasitic wasp... Infested aphids swell, turn brown and die. The wasp cuts a hole in the back of the aphid’s abdomen to emerge."
Mmmmmm, like Alien face huggers.  I am glad the aphids are "medically harmless" since they make orange stains over skin and clothing when touched.  And when did "honey dew" become synonymous with "aphid cr*p"?  I used to deliver Honey Dew melons when I drove produce delivery trucks.   They did not consist of aphid droppings.

After amputating all the infected stems, I finished my yard work, which included "vacuuming" and mulching up all the remaining dead lantana and bougainvillea leaves, post frost, and then dumping the finely ground organic material into the bag with the aphids and wasps to smother them.  Yes, I know it is not landfill friendly that way, but we have no grass or "beds" in my yard, as it is a desert scape of crushed rock.  There really is no place to recycle and reuse crushed poisonous bougainvillea leaves chez moi.  Large yard waste bag triple tied air-tight, and dumpstered.  I hope my poor assaulted milkweed recovers soon.  The tarantula wasps will be arriving soon and will be very hungry.

Curious about the title translation? link here.

Black Sun, Black Moon...

"Black Sun, Black Moon, 2 Snakes, Facing each other!!!"  One of my favorite lines from Conan the Barbarian, or Conan the Librarian.

And don't forget the 160 quotes (link here).   Also, I stumbled upon Conan the Barbarian: The Musical this evening as well...  too darn funny!

So when I was in Cobbler's Pose the other day poolside, I began to spontaneous laugh when I saw this a few inches away.  Sometimes my mind runs off in random directions....

And no, I cannot bend as far forward as the lady in the youtube video does, but it is a good pose for opening up the hips. 

It is interesting to note in retrospect, that when I was a little kid in elementary school, I used to have completely flat feet.  Up until about 7th grade, I had to wear these painful insole arches in my shoes that FORCED the center of my feet up, forging arches into each foot.  Nearly 1/2 a century later, those formative foot tortures have lasting effects.

New Social Netwrok Site Starting Up....

There's reports out, that Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook are teaming up to put out a new online site for their users to meet and share information, relating to each other.  The name they're floated for the site is easy to remember:   YouTwitFace.

Thought it was a joke huh?  Silly you  =P (link here)

Tale of Two Grass Fed Ranches

My last trip to the Central Phoenix Farmer's Market the weekend after New Years, I hoped to snatch up a cornucopia of locally grown foods harvested just prior to the recent frost.  While I did find some local celery, everything else was stuff I already had at home or don't particularly like, so I sauntered over to the JH Grass Fed Beef booth, run by John B Holbrook (link here).  Mr Holbrook is a nice enough rancher.  A friendly guy, he sells locally humanely raised lamb and beef from a large cooler on the back of his truck at the market.  I've previously raved about Double Check Ranch's delicious pasture raised beef (here and here), but I always like to have "have a plan" and single sourcing can lead one into complacency with that single supplier or despair if that supplier goes out of business or has problems... so I thought I'd give Mr Holbrook a try. 

I looked over his price list, and bought 2 rib eyes, thinking it'd be about $20.  After plunking them on the scale, and punching in his calculator, he said "that'll be $33.50".  Gulp.  Strike 1. $33.50, man, these better be some awesome steaks.  Later that week, I prepared the steaks in a very similar manner to how I had prepared my Double Check steaks.  I was a little disappointed to find out that a dollar or more of that $33.50 included paying for inedible bone.  The bone had been band sawed, so there wasn't even any marrow to enjoy, sadly... but it was not refreshing to see these big ole bones left on the cuts.  Strike 2.









I tried to keep a happy face on, and thought about how much better local, humanely raised food is compared to trucked in franken food from the industrial food complex... and Holbrook's webpage and his flyer handouts have pictures of him and his grand children on horseback... so it's good that I give him a break and try his food.  "It'll be awesome".

Well, I grilled it up, and it was "OK".  It wasn't bad, but I was not WOW'ed as I have been consistently with Double Check.

The heirloom fire roasted tomatoes, organic  portabello mushrooms, organic yellow and red peppers, and organic scallions turned out wonderfully.  Really tasty, really juicy, complimenting an OK steak.  Made 2, ate one, stored the 2nd one in the fridge for dinner the next night - with a final futile hope that the flavors would all combine and enhance over-night.  No such luck, the 2nd night was no better than the first night, maybe even slightly drier.  Sigh.  Strike 3.

For comparison sake, I grilled up more Double Check later in the week.  I'd gotten the variety pack from double check of 10 lbs where they offer a substantial discount.  I chose a chuck roast, and since I did not have enough time to slow roast it, I grilled it.  yes, I know, you're not supposed to grill a roast... but I was pressed for time.

Notice how there's a gorgeous, thin layer of fat around the periphery of the cut.  Double Check's butchers do a superb job.  Each piece of meat is like a little work of art!

Upon upper shelf indirect grilling, the roast broke into two pieces, and delicious cut dripped it's juices down into the waiting mushrooms, peppers, and scallions below.  The final result was wonderful - and to my pallet, 'as good as or better' than the Holbrook Rib steak mentioned above.  It was a lil bit tough to slice with a sharp knife, but as a roast, it was never intended to be grilled.  It was very juicy, tasty,  and a delicous meal.

Encouraged by this renewed, healthy, protein rich decadence experiment, I defrosted a pack of sirloin steak from Double Check, moving the pack from the freezer to the fridge, and leaving it there for 2 days to thaw (and to conserve energy as the steak endothermically cools the surrounding fridge during peak energy periods) as I always do.

 Same preparation - preheat the grill to 400F, indirect grilling on the upper rack (to prevent flared up flame impingement and carburization). 2 minutes over flame, each side, then 3 minutes over the grilled veggies, each side, and viola, a perfectly rare-to-medium-rare grilled steak!

No additional butter or BBQ sauce needed.  No salt or pepper required.  Just delicious, local, low carb, humanely raised, organically fed, happy cows providing protein to a happy health conscious consumer.

This was too much for me to eat in one dinner, so I cut the succulent sirloin in half, and stored the 2nd half for the next night.  The double feature was fantastic.  I have 1/2 a dozen cuts left; Flat Iron, New York, Rib Eyes, and a pack of Hot Dogs - yes, organic, grass fed, local hot dogs!  Stay tuned for more to come.

High Carb Depression

See what a high carb diet gets you?

If you like this work, check out other images from the very talented Rob Sheridan (link here).

Indexed Hubble Images

The CS Monitor has a handy gallery for seeing some really beautiful images taken by NASA's Hubble space telescope.  Link here. Really nice work.

Worth Watching, or Not

Dr Desert Flower is in Paris this week, and London next week, speaking as an expert in her field of research at various conferences and meetings of other very smart people.  While she's out, I've been catching up on some old DVR'ed programs that I'd almost forgotten we had.  Here's my opinion on what is worth watching, and what you shouldn't waste your time on, in my humble opinion:

Invictus - I recorded it many months ago from HBO.  Superb.  Damn, Eastwood is good.  "Forgiveness is a powerful weapon, it removes fear".  Wow.   Good stuff.  I'm not a huge rugby fan, but this movie is not about rugby.  Congress (both houses) should be forced to watch this.  Morgan Freeman, fantastic.

Nick Swardson's Pretend Time - hilarious, disturbing, sick, not at all for children, weird, very strange, very funny.

Denis Leary's Douche Bags and Donuts - acerbic, caustic, irreverant, sarcastic, very enjoyable.  Do not watch if you are a devout Roman Catholic who thinks that the Church is still infallible.

Lewis Black - always funny, always angry, always insightful and amazing.  We saw Lewis at the Dodge theater on New Years 2 years ago, he is still point on.

Louis C.K. - harder to grasp than Leary or Lewis, more complex, but still very funny.

Big Bang Theory - having a wife who is a PhD makes this mandatory watching in our home.  It's written very well, and anyone who has worked with scientists or engineers or both, have known people who are JUST LIKE or very similar to the characters in this series.  Always a humorous half hour.

30 Rock - Dr Desert flower fell in love with this comedic series soon after it came out.  The "GE" humor in it to date has been spot on.  Baldwin's acting, combined with Tina Fey's writing make this extremely clever show difficult to miss. 

Futurama - so glad the Comedy Central has revived this series!   Very funny, relevant social commentary.  Kudos to Comedy central and Matt Groening. 

Dr Who re-runs - where's the new episodes?  I've re-watched the Tennant and Eckelson and Smith seasons..  looking forward to seeing how Rick Karr's look-a-like does next season.

Friar's Clubs Roasts - just a round of comics insulting other comics.  Not worth the time, unless you're in a really mean mood.  I don't care if I never watch another one.

Bob's Burgers - Fox's weak attempt to break the MacFarlane / Groening animation vice grip on comedy.   I tried to watch it with an open mind as I put on another 10 Km on the stationary bike.  I enjoyed the bike ride more than the low quality animation of the niche New York City genre writing.  No thanks.  I won't be recording this again.

And of course, Daily Show and Colbert, are the staples that I enjoy, Monday through Thursday, with an occasional Bill Maher chaser on Fridays.

Not reviewed or commented upon here, are Lost, Americans at Idle (AKA American Idol), So You Think You Can Dance, Hawaii Five O remakes, Any of a host of "Reality Shows" that are mostly all train wrecks, all of MTV's programming, Biggest Loser, The Apprentice, Extreme Make Over, Most Dangerous Catch, and Whale Wars, none of which I have watched more than 1 or 2 minutes of before turning it off to do something better with my life.

China is Not a Superpower

Just like the unjustified statements of "the book publishing business is dead" and "no one wants CDs anymore, only MP3s", the new phrase "China is the new world super power" is not true.  And I am finally heartened to hear other commentators are backing me up on this (links here, here, and here). 

Yes, China has alot of people, but a huge percentage of them are uneducated and extremely poor - less than $3 a day poor.  Yes, China is a huge market, but only a very small percentage of those billion people have any disposable cash to buy anything beyond a daily ration. Yes, China has a massive army, but they are ill equipped and untrained compared to their NATO counter parts.  Yes, China has a space program, but they don't allow their population to move between cities or provinces without the right government authorization.  Yes, China holds huge amounts of American debt, but they peg their own currency to the dollar so that they can never call-in that debt without bankrupting their own economy.  Yes, China is developing lots of software (including cyber-warfare programs) but only 1 in 10 operating systems in China are not pirated.  Yes, China is adding lots of infrastructure (high speed rail, new air ports, new port facilities, power generation equipment) but their air is so polluted you can't see the sun, the air planes are made by Boeing and Airbus, the high speed rail runs less than a 100 miles, and the new airport facilities in Beijing had sinks and lights and toilets and escalators that did not function properly just 6 months after the airport opened - I'm talking 1/2 the sinks in the men's rooms, by my personal observation, not giving out any water. Yes, half.

When China can cleanly and efficiently produce high quality good that the world wants - and not just Walmart cr*p the most gullible Americans think they need - they'll begin to be a formidable world market force.  When the poorest parts of China look no worse than the poorest parts of the South Carolina Pee Dee or rural Eastern Tennessee, instead of the apocalyptic garbage scape that I saw wherever I traveled in rural China for 3 years, they can be considered a "developed nation" who takes care of their citizens, and begin to head towards "Superpower", but today, here and now, no.  China is Not a Superpower.

And to those China patriots and Sino defenders who have tried to post hateful, negative, snarky, erroneous retorts here previously on other Chinese topics, I welcome your posts, and any evidence, any facts - not just opinions - that you can provide to refute any of the personal observations I have stated here.  What I've stated is fact based, not just "China bashing".  I know what I saw and lived through for 3 years when I was there.  Prove that things are MUCH Better, MUCH improved now, please.

Go Fly A Spanish Black Kite

NPR aired an interesting piece this afternoon on Spanish scientist who have an abundance of patience and time (link here).  For 5 years, these evolutionary biologists have been studying and video taping 127 black kites and their nesting behaviour.  The scientists added white plastic to the nests, and the biggest, strongest kites with the most vitality not only kept the white plastic in their nests, but they gathered up more.  The younger and most elderly, weaker Spanish kites had no interest in the white plastic, and actually removed it from their nests.

The Spanish scientists observed that the kites are a war-like bunch of birds, with the white plastic drawing attention to nests and causing birds to try and attack the nests.  The strongest black kites powerfully defended their nests, and backed up the advertising that the plastic implied "Hey baby, I'm here and I'm available!"  The smaller and less physically strong black kites who could not back up bravado jettisoned the plastic the scientists added.  This is very interesting from an evolutionary sense, but 5 years on kites?   I do enjoy my afternoons in the back yard in the company of various species of hummingbird, lizard, tarantula hawk, wasp, and honey bee, but I do not have the patience (or the grant funding) to videotape 127 nests for 5 years.

In a nod to evolution and observation of the natural world, I did catch this image of His Noodly Majesty yesterday afternoon as he appeared to me, after I finished a few hundred sit ups.  Ramen.

Puck the Fackers

A fellow Bears fan sent this link to me this morning.  I got a kick out of it.

Catchy tune.  Very silly.  It is PG rated, so if listening at work, head phones are recommended.  And if you're from the 'great state of Wisconsin' or a Packer's fan, I do not recommend watching it - you probably won't enjoy it very much.

I hope the NFC play off Sunday is a good game, and not a "blow out"...  il faut voir.  Whoever wins, I hope they'll be up against the Steelers, and not filthy Sanchez and the Jets the first weekend in February.

"Brought to you by unicorns" - LOL

TDS and Colbert, Emmy Material

I was kinda tired Tuesday night, and considered just DVRing The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, but I decided to try and watch and see if I conk out on the couch.  Both shows were HILARIOUS!
- Calling out Palin on her hypocrisy and stupidity
- Demonstrating Awesome writing, once again
- Having intelligent, informed, dynamic guests with awesome interviews (Neil deGrasse Tyson and Cornel West)
This is the kind of stuff that Emmies for "Best Writing" and "Best Comedic Series" are made out of.  Truly fantastic shows January 18th 2011.
Daily Show link here.
Colbert Report link here.
Even if you are part of the 20% of America who loves the former part term governor of the great state of Alaska, you have to admire the way the Daily Show writers dissect her talking points - NOT out of context, FULL WITHIN context - and how Colbert voices precisely what Mika Brzezinski is thinking / feeling by her comments and disgusted expression on her pretty face (mmmm Mika.... 6 months younger than I am, and looking as lovely as my 32 year old wife!).  Definitely worth the time to download and watch.

Thanks Iran!

Iran's been stopping fuel trucks from entering Afghanistan, at all the road crossings along the hundreds of miles of shared borders (link here).  The Shia Fundamentalist lead regime misguidedly believes that the fuel is destined for NATO forces fighting Taliban in Afghanistan - even though zero percent of the land shipped fuel is headed for NATO.  NATO gets its fuel via Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan and Pakistan, since Iran is considered a "state sponsor of terror" and all US contractors cannot do business with Iran.

So how effective has this fuel blockade been at achieving Iran's goals?  Well, if their goal was to inspire PRO-AMERICAN rallies in Kabul, then Iran is doing a great job!  If their goal was to really p*ss off the civilian population of Afghanistan with exorbitant fuel prices and turn any sympathy they had for Iran into rage against the Islamic Republic to the west, kudos to you Iran!  Mission accomplished!