Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Why Do DJs Suck So Much?

While Dr Desert Flower and I had a wonderful vacation last week, I have to say that the Cancun resort at which we stayed - Excellence Playa Mujeres - had a terrible night club who employed a distasteful, untalented, obnoxious DJ.  The resort was 15 minutes away from town, driving, through a coastal jungle road, with formidable three gates to get into the resort, so it's not like we could just 'walk down the street' to someplace else. All the bars and restaurants closed by 10:30pm, leaving just the night club / disco called "Alegria" open until 1am.  The night club was crammed into a small space, not much bigger than average sized 2 guest rooms with a 10ft by 10ft dance floor and a semi circular bar that sat perhaps 10 people. 

On one of our first nights there, we ventured to "the club" at 10:00pm and it was dead.  Not even a bar tender was there. Some techno was playing in the back ground, but DDF didn't want to be "the only people in there" so we left, and took a nice walk down the beach instead.  A few nights later, we walked over to Alegria at 11:30pm and there was a DJ, with 1/2 a dozen people dancing, and about 2 dozen people standing around.  The blaring "music" was unbearably loud, and we appeared to be in the 2nd standard deviation of age group distribution, when I convinced DDF that we should sit down and get a drink.  A few seconds later, we were assaulted with the first verse of Mystikal's classic love ballad "Shake Your Ass" (link here) [warning, for those with youngsters reading over your shoulder, or sitting beside you, don't click that link]
"Came here with my d*ck in my hand
Don't make me leave here with my foot in yo ass" 

Hearing this, DDF said to me "we're outta here".  As we headed out, we were serenaded with the classic verses:
"Nastier than a full grown German Shepherd Motherf*cker keep steppin
They don't f*ck with me and they won't Yall b*tches cant catch me and you won't
Pay ya fare, fix ya hair throw that p*ssy" 

Apparently, the bard Mystikal doesn't understand how to make a subtle point.  And whoever the side-ways hat wearing, flat biller DJ little boy was who was playing this audio assault didn't comprehend the resorts paying guests' preferences. 

I don't understand adults who like this kind of false bravado rap garbage.  I get why the so called "artists" use obscenity, profanity, and sexism repeatedly in their "songs", as they try to compensate for not having a father who loved them, not growing up in a nurturing house hold, never having read anything deeper than a Playstation or X-box game manual, and treating all the women in their lives (including their mothers, grand mothers, and sisters) as things, instead of people.  I understand how these types of lyrics are the rapper's desperate cry for help and recognition to a world who are not as maladjusted as they are.  But I do not understand the adults who like this, or dance to it, or request it from DJs to be played, nor do I understand the pathetic little DJs who spin this bombastic nonsense to a mostly Caucasian audience in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. 

While over-all the Playa Mejures resort is wonderful, the Alegria night club is a glaring failure, and a smudge on an otherwise excellent vacation. If you go to Playa Mujeres, avoid the disco, and bring your own iPhone loaded with music (the rooms have iPhone compatible stereos).

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