Front Loading Washer Negative Points

When we moved to the desert in 2007, we left our 20 year old Kenmore top loader washer and floor-model scratched paint electric dryer back in SC - the cheap octogenarians from Florida who bought the SC house insisted they get the appliances - good riddance, fools.

So at our local Home Depot before closing here in AZ, we picked up an energy efficient and low water usage front loading GE washer and electric dryer, under the assumption that "we live in a desert, we have an obligation to use as little water as possible." Well, they are energy efficient, and they do run well, but the lack of a wash machine full of wash & rinse water takes some getting used to. 2 and a 1/2 years later, I'm still not used to it.

For example, for decades previously whenever I did laundry, if you forgot something, you could always toss it in a few minutes late in the top loader. Not so with a front loader, as you have to wait for the door to unlock, and some water comes splashing out the door upon opening. When needing to do an extra rinse in a top loader, no problem, it filled up, it spun, it rinsed. On a front loader, the "extra rinse" comprises about 2 gallons of water. When using extra bleach or detergent, to get out persistent smells, it takes 3 or 4 extra rinses in a miserly front loader.

Drain clogging is an issue for front loaders. The door seal, which doubles as a drain screen, gets easily clogged with animal hair - which is pretty gross to clean out, digging under the lip of the seal with your finger. the detergent tray feeder tubes are supposed to be replaced every 2 years (I am 6 months over due) - that's a cheesy cop out material selection for a $1000 washer. the engineer who signed off on that material selection, and the marketing and business manager who approved it, should be fired. A durable good is supposed to be durable. It's a polymer tube that passes detergent... spend the extra $2 to make it out of something more resistant to chemical attack.

On the positive side, the front loaders do require less detergent, less fabric softener, less water, less energy, less of everything. there's just really no means of MASSIVE WASHING anymore - lots of little increments. Eventually, I might get used to it.

Pilooon This

No Food City, I am not going to "ask for my Pilooon". It's not a real word.

Basha's (who owns Food City) lawyer in Phoenix has filed a trademark on it. It's a contrived, made-up, fake Spanish word, to get gringos and native Spanish Speakers into Food City where they can ask for it (exige tu), trying to drive marketing traffic.

No thanks. I'll get my Dos Equis and Modelo Negra there, and maybe some day pick up a big ole can of lard that they have on pallets placed at the entrance next to the produce section. But I am not going to be asking for a "Pilooon". Sorry Food City.

Captured The Ringleader! (I Think)

As Dr Desert Flower was waiting for her fellow scientist driven car pool earlier this week, she noticed the stench of male cat urine around the turret in our front entrance way. Of the 6 feral cats I had previously trapped and relocated to the mountains earlier this month, the dominant orange bob tailed male was not among them. I figured he was too wily to go for the tuna baited live traps. I had personally witnessed him peeing on my house once last fall, where the turret meets the exterior wall of my office. Dilute bleach solution did not seem to dissuade or 'wash away' his pheromone tagging.

So on my first day back in Arizona yesterday, I used the last of the tuna that I'd stored in a Lock-n-Lock ® in the back of the fridge, baited a small trap and put it in the same location where I caught 3 of the last 6 felines. "Great Success" in less than 8 hours. A hungry coyote will be able to feed her family tonight in the western mountains.

If this is not the territory marking ring leader, it's one of his direct progeny ...and it's a matter of time before I get the boss. These feral cats can't resist a free meal of tuna any more than a pan handler in Charleston SC can resist a free quart of malt liquor.

The Smell Of Hotel Carpet

After putting in a 60 hour week by noon Friday, I kicked back a little bit early to do yoga by the pool for the first time in 2 weeks. A 72F day, light partial cloud cover, 22% RH, dozens of sorties flown by thirsty female hummingbirds. I got outside late enough to avoid the morning smell of the cattle farms to the SE near Lower Buckey, and early enough to avoid the cacophony of the ice cream trucks. A refreshing, relaxing, rejuvenating hour in the sun.

Watching hummingbirds quench their thirst on the forest of aloe flowers I have blooming in the back yard was much better than watching women's hockey Olympic Coverage, or curling, or any of the random sporting events NBC decided to televise during the periods of time I was trying to do yoga in the hotel rooms the last two weeks.

Now if I can just get the faint smell of hotel carpet out of my mat. Ew. I Did use bath towels, as a "barrier" between yoga mat and likely-quite-nasty hotel carpets, but just being in close proximity is enough for the polymer mat to absorb residual orders I guess.

Gershwin, Rachmaninov, and Prokofiev

Two weeks ago, Dr Desert Flower and I listened to the Phoenix Symphony perform Gershwin & Rachmaninov, conducted by James DePriest. Gershwin's Concerto for Piano in F major & Rhapsody in Blue Piano Concerto with amazing soloist Jon Kimura Parker was a joy to listen to & see play. Engaging, dynamic, moving, it earned a standing ovation and encore by Parker. Then, the symphony played Rachmaninov's Symphony no 2 in E minor, Op. 27. DePriest did a fine job of conducting. The piece was moving, well played. We went home satisfied.

This weekend Prokofiev's Symphony No. 1, and Peter & the Wolf. Christie has bracketed a Adams piece.. which I am sort of dreading.... "Shaker Loops" ... but we shall see. Hopefully, it won't be as dreadful as the 9-11 Adam's 'remember' piece.. ugh!

All Aboard!

back when Ozzy used to be able to speak English....

....flying back to Phoenix tomorrow afternoon.

Marichyasana no problem

Over a year ago, I mentioned how achieving an effective Marichyasana yoga pose was difficult at Christmas time. After losing 45 lbs and 5 inches of waist (I had to drill 3 new holes in my belt in the last 2 weeks), Marichyasana is no problem. Not just getting my nose to my knee, but bringing knee to throat is now easily achieved.

Now, if I can just get into a "bound lotus" more easily...

North American Female Hockey Dominance

Watching he Canadienne and USA women's Olympic Hockey teams demolish their opponents on MSNBC, I am looking forward to the under-dog Americans going up against their formidable neighbors to the north. China, Suisse, Sweden, Russia... they're all getting their butts kicked. 18-0? 10-1? 12-1? Wow. Hockey and soccer, double digit scores show massively lopsided victories. Let the two most talented teams play for the Gold and Silver medals, and don't worry about who comes in a very very very distant third.

Hawaiian Health Care - John Oliver Reporting

Did anyone besides me see the Daily Show report last week, that John Oliver did from Hawaii where he interviewed Republicans who were having a convention there, asking them what they thought about state provided Hawaiian Health Care? Beautiful, amazing, poignant. Blatant Republican stupidity and hypocrisy.

Samuel the Idiot, Samuel the Victim

'Joe the Dumber' is declaring that McCain "screwed up my life"? LMFAO!!!! No Joe, you screwed up your own life. You were not the face of "middle America" - you were the face of stupid, "fact free", rhetoric, racist, wanna-be-millionaires-someday-but-lower-class-today, angry America. It was you Joe the Dumber, who refused to listen to that 'elitist Harvard type' when he attempted to reason with you.

Your 15 minutes is waaaaaaay past. Go back to the rock from whence you crawled out from under, and embrace your guns and religion and divisive politics. Buh Bye.

Hotel Lobby Fresh Baked Cookies

The human olfactory sensory system is hard wired to the primordial reptilian brain, deep, deep, down inside, from millions of millennium ago (or 6000 years ago to quick creationists). Remember the fabric softener or laundry detergent used in your house where you grew up? I've got pungent memories of the East Chicago sewage treatment plant odor that surrounded my paternal grand mother's home, my uncle Tom's pipe tobacco (he died of throat cancer), and Tester's cyanoacrylate glue and olive drab model paint... embedded in my brain.

Well Hampton Inns (and Double Trees, Hilton Garden Inns, and others) bake chocolate chip cookies for their guests, and put out a free plate of them at reception. The macadamia nut, chocolate chip, and peanut butter cookie fragrances, are so tempting... and my last business trip, last August, when I was still eating high doses of carbs daily, I indulged in said cookies nightly, in the 2s and 3s, one of each flavor. MMMmmm. Enticing.

But this trip, wherein I needed to drill a 3rd hole in my belt to keep my pants from falling down last Saturday, and people who have not seen me in 6 months have said things like "you're 1/2 the size you used to be" and "you look good, are you feeling well?" ...on this trip, I think about the high fructose corn syrup that is likely laden in the pre-packaged / non-homemade cookie dough the hotel reception workers are baking, and the greasy paper towel cookie outlines that used to soak up on past trips to carry them to my room... and I resist grabbing a free cookie or two or three as I pass through the lobby. I've taken to using the non-lobby stairway exits (taking the stairs instead of the lethargic elevator? plow on Sunday!).

...and the Lindt 85% cocoa chocolate bar (much tastier than the 90% variety in my perspective) I've got stashed in my luggage is pretty yummy too, followed by a few ounces of Bas Armagnac from my Coleman flask I packed along this trip. Alot fewer carbs, and much better for me.

John Basedow's Future Manssiere

Watching TV without a DVR in my hotel room, I cannot fast forward past commercials. I've come to the conclusion that some day in the future, John Basedow will need to wear a manssiere to support his D cups. "Fitness Made Simple" - well, maybe, but why pay someone for a fitness DVD when common sense works just as well?

I hope I never develop pects that require additional support. Ew.

Candide!

My sophomore year in High School band, we played the Leonard Bernstein's Candide Overture in concert. I've been humming it all day as I walk around the main plant's offices here in Greenville. I remember it was sophomore year, as Joe Sabo played the maniacal xylophone part, Jim Hoogeveen on the precise snare part, accomplice Rob Klonel beside him on bass drum. I got to play crash cymbals... and this song is perhaps the best song ever for a cymbalist. It almost made up for having to play cymbals my entire freshman year in marching band... but in the end I got to be percussion section leader 2 years later, so that's not all bad.

Joe's Guide For Driving In Winter Weather For Southern Drivers Part II

I was chastised for not mentioning "steering" yesterday by several people via comments and email. Steering is simple.

- drive normally, gradually, don't make extreme turns. Keep in mind that inertia and momentum work. Bodies in motion tend to stay in motion.

- IF your rear wheels begin to slide to the left, steer into it - steer to the left, regain control. IF your wheels begin to slide to the right, steer to the right, regain control. DO NOT steer to the right when you start to drift to the left, unless you want to start a severe clockwise spin.

- If you're driving a front wheel drive car, whose engine and transmission (and the 300 to 500 lbs of steel and aluminum and cast iron they contain) are over the steering and driving axles, steering will be easier, doing donuts will be harder to do.

Vindication
- all of the "massive snow" that the SC Upstate got on Saturday, has melted by Monday night. The rain that Greenville got this morning helped to wash the remaining white stuff. See, it's the South, snow and ice melt, rapidly. Only the shadiest pine stands had tiny bits of residual snow on north facing slopes.

Joe's Guide For Driving In Winter Weather For Southern Drivers

Growing up on the South Side of Lake Michigan in da Region, I am no stranger to driving in snow. It's like riding a bike, or playing ping pong, or doing a somersault, or playing a drum set - once you learn how to do it, it's something you don't forget how to do.

I drove from Atlanta to Charleston Saturday morning, after the largest snow storm in decades blanketed most of the Peach and Palmetto states in 3 to 8 inches (the photo to the right is of my buddy Ryan's deck, east of Stone Mountain behind his new homestead, taken Saturday morning).

He took it while I was talking to him on my cell phone, held in my left hand, and driving 60 mph on twisty 2 lane secondary roads, through rural Georgia parallel to I-85 (which was blocked for MILES due to multiple car accidents), and holding my Garmin Numi in my right hand, while steering with my left elbow & forearm, passing vehicle after vehicle that was in a ditch, off the side of the road, spun out - one even had a stop sign wrapped around it's bumper and hood and had jumped a curb, no where near an intersection!

So after I spoke to Ryan, I picked up my pen and paper Daytimer (omnipresent in my front shirt pocket on business trips) and jotted down a few notes. All the while, driving safely, carefully, without any fear or angst or missteps or execution errors. These are the notes I wrote down while driving, as thoughts occurred to me like "this is NOT that hard" and "how scared does one have to be to drive 30 mph with 4 way flashers blinking on dry pavement??"

Joe's Guide For Driving In Winter Weather For Southern Drivers
1) Stay home. Don't go out. Watch DVR's of last year NASCAR races, or Rastlin, or MMA fighting, or college football, or the Outdoor channel (that's a big fish, that's a purdy fish). Don't try to drive, you will only hurt yourself and others.

2) Really, stay home. I speak from experience. And by "experience" I mean, I've driven in snow and ice in IN, IL, OH, MI, TN, KY, NC, SC, GA. VA, MD, Wash DC, PA, NY, NH, VT, Austria, and Suisse, and have never had an accident in snow and ice, because I know what I am doing, and I am not afraid or stupid or reactionary.

3) What trip do you have that is so essential, that you cannot wait another 24 or 48 hours to make that trip? It's the South, your snow will melt. Your ice will melt. Soon the roads will be safe. Seriously, stay home.

4) Ok, so you've ignored recommendation 1 through 3. Please, when you drive for the first time in snow or on ice, go the speed limit, or within 10 mph of it. When you are on a federal interstate highway, designed to be driven at 75mph and you're doing 30, gripping your steering wheel like it's a mid Atlantic life preserver, you're creating a traffic hazard for the rest of us.

5) When trying to climb a hill that has some ice on it, remember that the coefficient of static friction is nearly ALWAYS higher than the coefficient of dynamic friction. 'What does that mean?' you might ask... well... when your pickup truck is approaching Powers Ferry as it climbs Windy Hill Road at a 5% incline, flooring it and spinning your rear wheels isn't going to get you up the hill. It is going to destroy your differential, and create a black streak on the road, and damage your engine as you rev above 6500 rpm. And it will provide amusement for people like me, who look down from our hotel rooms at the red neck in his pick up truck who can't climb a slight hill with a little ice. If you are fool-hardy enough to drive a pickup truck or rear wheel drive vehicle on ice, put sand bags or other weights in the truck's bed over the rear axle. This will provide more downward force - gravity always works in the same direction when on Earth, but gravity is a theory like evolution which many Southerners have rejected, so what do I know. Downward force, times the coefficient of friction, will dictate how much applied forward motion you will accomplish. Increasing wheel RPM, well, that Does Not increase downward force, it just hurts your drive train and makes you look really stupid. Use 200 to 500 lbs of wet sand in the sand bags.

5) your accelerator (known to Americans as "gas pedal") is typically an analog device. If you have a vehicle with advanced technology where the electronics are simulating an analog to digital response curve (unless it is a Toyota maybe), it's still not an 'ALL THE WAY UP or DOWN' device. It's a variable response input device. Stomping on your accelerator at a stop light to begin to move, on ice, makes you look really stupid, provides no forward motion, and might even make you drift sideways. Apply your foot gently to the gas, don't stomp it. There's never an appropriate time to stomp on your accelerator on ice, unless you are trying to do a trick in an empty parking lot.

6) your brake pedal is also an analog input device. Apply your foot gently to the brake, do not stomp it. "Stomping" is for right before impact when you have anti-lock brakes, and if they are functioning properly, the pedal will push back at your foot.

6) Slush is good. Slush is your friend. Do not be afraid of driving through a little slush. GA got 3 to 8 inches of snow. That's not enough slush to bury a car to it's axles (as I did to my father's Chevy Van in the Hammond IN FOP Parking Lot in High School). If you put "dubs" on your vehicle, see rules 1, 2, and 3 above.

7) Shade + (Ambient Temp < 32F) + previous night snow = Frozen Patch. Be prepared for it. It's not magic, it's not mystical - like the sensor under the pavement that makes the light change colors when your car waits on it. The pavement in the shade, when the temp is below freezing (32F for Americans, 0 Celsius for the rest of the world, but the Canadians in North America don't have this issue, they understand) will have a patch of ice on it, or some un-melted snow... it will be slightly more slippery. Don't jamb your brakes on it. Don't floor it. Just gently glide over that patch. Unless you are in a dense pine forest, the shade will be intermittent in the South, and you'll get to sun warmed pavement soon enough.

8) If you're still determined to drive in the southern snow without experience, clues, or skill, take off your "W" bumper sticker, and your "McCain / Palin" stickers, and your "NObama" stickers before you head out. When you wreck, and "yankees" drive past you, they won't be able to say "well, of course" - and I am not a "yankee", I don't like the yankees. I like the Cubs, and yes, the Cubs are terrible, but my car has never been broken into in Wrigleyville, and both Sox games I went to, it was broken into. I'm not a "yankee", nor a "damn yankee", I'm from the Midwest, thank you.

9) If you are still going out in the snow, take off your racing slicks, or your neglected bald tires, and put on some good all weather tires. I know you don't have snow chains. You don't need them. You're not going to be driving on completely snow covered roads, or severe inclines, like in the Sierra Nevadas. Most of the pavement you're going to be on will be clear and dry and will tear up chains. Driving on bald tires will decrease your coefficient of friction (see # 5 above).

10) so you're still attempting to drive in the southern snow without experience or clues, AND you're trying to talk on your cell phone? DON'T!!! You're barely capable of driving on DRY pavement with a cell phone in hand. Add variable friction surfaces to that and you are guaranteed an accident. Put Down The Cell Phone. Concentrate on items 1 through 9 above.

Now, I feel better. =)

Dinner With Dick Gephardt

In the Detroit Wayne County airport Wednesday night, I walked into the Mediterranean Grill and sat down at the horseshoe shaped bar, ordered a Patron on the rocks, some grape leaves and Greek Salad, and then I noticed... I was sitting directly across the bar from Dick Gephardt. If it wasn't the 22nd Majority Leader of the US House of Representatives, it was his look-alike / body double. Eye brows were n0t as bushy as I'd seen caricatured previously. He had finished his dinner prior to my arrival and was sipping a white wine. I was tempted to ask him "so why did you sell out?" but I refrained... the bar was crowded, and he was busy talking on his cell phone.

NRA Fear Brokers

Out of the blue last weekend, I get an NRA "Membership Acceptance" certificate in the mail. I've never applied. I've never signed up. I have purchased ammo using a credit card, and in AZ you do have to fill out a registration card when you purchase a fire arm - which I think is a sound logical step to register a legal fire arm.

But Nooooooooo! To read this NRA Platform survey, you'd like that President Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi were coming to take my gun away, throw me in a re-education camp, and make me pay a tax to the IRS for owning a gun every year on my income tax return. It's classic fear mongering, just as Christian[TM] fundamentalists have been using to rally their congregations for years.

Part of me wants to actually sign up, to see what kind of complete BS that Wayne LaPierre spouts out - and I get a "free" roll on duffel bag... but I really don't want to cozy up to such jingoistic reactionary thugs. Guilt by association is an American tradition. It's sort of like how I was approached by some plant security personnel when I first began working in South Carolina, to remind me that they were "having a meeting" that weekend, and to "Bring your sheet. If you ain't got one, we can give you one". Being a transplanted Hoosier, I was confused by reference to a "sheet" but the mentioning of "lighting up a cross" clarified it to me, and I politely declined, telling the security guard supervisor that I'd be out of town. He assured me I had a standing invite to future meetings.

The week that I quit working there, I told the security guard supervisor that I was Jewish and married a Black Catholic, hoping to see his head explode.

Magnetized Copper From Jesus!

I look through the direct mailers we get here in Phoenix for useful coupons. Occasionally, there's something useful, or funny in it.

I saw this one last week. I really need to rush right out, and buy several dozen! 2 for me, 2 for Dr Desert Flower, and 2 for every Christian [TM] I know. Somehow, using the healing power of Jesus, in the United State's porn capital (Van Nuys CA), Dream Products has been able to magnetize copper, and forge it into this fashionable bracelet! Wow. the gullible hat trick.

I could wear them on my ankles too... so 4 per person... Order today!

Don't Put Sugar On My Nuts!

As I mentioned last Fall, I found some delicious and inexpensive macadamia nuts at Costco. And though I've heard wonderful things about almonds raising your "good" cholesterol - the High Density ones - I've never really enjoyed the dark brown husked, fiberous outer layer. Not the texture, the taste, or the way they'd invariably get stuck between my teeth, so almonds have been one of my last choices in nuts. But the protein continued to beckon me, so I tried a can of Spanish Marcona Almonds from Costco last month. Delicioso!! WOW!

The carbon foot print of Spanish Marconas bothered me a lil bit, living in the Mountain / Pacific time zones and not on the Iberian peninsula. So last week when I was shopping in Costco, I looked for local almond options. Diamond brand had some almonds selling there listing "corn" as an ingredient. What part of the almond is the "corn" part? Epic failure, Diamond brand. There was a Costco (Kirkland) brand of almonds that claimed to be Californian, but stated they were coated in malto dextrin... maltodextrin... ¿Por qué? And they were brown husked, just like the Diamond brand, so none of my dollars went to that supplier.

The Marconas have very simple ingredients: blanched marcona almonds, sunflower oil, sea salt. mmmmm. So I bought 4 more cans, Just In Case Costco decides to stop carrying them.

I should be chock-full-o-nuts for the next 2 or 3 months - or in my buddy Matt's words: "The guy's nuts, grab-em!" LOL!

Fool In The Rain

Middle of the night last night our home was PELTED by a short tempest. Rattled the windows, blew in the from the north, from the looks of the disheveled potted geranium on the patio this morning, the violent atmospheric eruption lasted about 10 minutes. Of course, Dr Desert Flower blissfully slept through it since there was no associated lightening to awaken her - being more than 1/2 deaf has it's advantages.

As I go about doing laundry, dishes, litter box dooty duty, etc this morning, the Led Zeppelin classic Fool in the Rain continues to replay in my head. There IS an AWESOME base drum line repeated throughout this song - LONG before double bass drum pedals were invented, Bonham's right foot was fast twitching beautifully. Kids now a days with their modern technology =P ...and if you tried to play this with a double bass pedal, the nuanced hi-hat "psssssishs" would be lost. The drum fill at the 3:48 mark is a representative of remarkable beauty as well. Simplified, inimitable. Good stuff.Sweet. Lovely technique. One of my favorite LZ songs.



And it wins my nomination for best use of a traffic whistle & steel drums (combined) in a song. The Police's Every Little Things She Does Is Magic get's it for steel drums in m.h.o.... and Stewart's fill at 2:51 mark (link here) is another classic! OMG - the shorts Sting is wearing in the studio at the start of the video... I used to have those!!! I met Dr Desert Flower in those same shorts in 1986!! LOL!

Sometime After Midnight

I woke up with this tune in my head, and the song has been replaying in my mind all morning. I've never experienced the events that are the subject of this song, having gotten married before being of legal drinking age. I've never seen an ex in a bar, so the visceral reaction that Airborne Toxic Event's Mikel Jollett seems to have had, I cannot personally relate to, but the song's structure, progression, crescendo, and story is an interesting one - and it is getting a great deal of radio airplay here in Phoenix.

How to bait a wire trap

I almost forgot to mention... putting tuna in wire cage can be messy, if you are not properly prepared. First, get an old paper plate. Cut it into quarters. Bend up the edges. Now, spooning juicy, tempting tuna onto each wedge, is easy. Placing the wedges into the traps can be accomplish with a long arm, or, with a small trenching shovel or garden tool, if you have achondroplasia.

The wedges are especially helpful in gravel yards as are common here in Phoenix, to keeping the flavorful juice close to the fragrant fish flesh. This helps to keep the bait more alluring to feline senses.

Trapper Joe - how to rid your neighborhood of feral cats

I discovered my home's front door, and metallic security screen door, to be once again sprayed by the dominant feral cat in the neighborhood last weekend. On my way to get the mail on Saturday afternoon, I saw a gang of 7 feral cats nosing around my neighbor's truck in his driveway. 2 of the cats didn't run away from me, while 5 of their compatriots fled in fear as I approached them, enroute to the mail boxes. This defiance would not do.

Now visitors to this blog know I have no love for feral cats - but my cayenne pepper solution survived only a few months in the blazing Arizona sun, as the Crisco melted away, and relentless winds scattered the remnants of the spice. Deterrents were not working. Cats were breeding. My front door welcome mat was fetid with male cat urine. Our elderly indoor cats were freaking out each time a lurking feral cat patrolled our little yard. Dr Desert Flower was out of town at a family funeral, so it was time for action. Inexorably.

Setting out my varmint traps, baited with canned tuna, I caught 3 angry cats in the first 24 hours. These 3 full cages were loaded into the back of my station wagon - lined with a large thick tarp (for a moisture barrier, just in case of spraying), and card board (to reduce friction as the cages were slid in), with the shipping box in which the traps arrived used as a physical barrier between the feisty felines. Growling, hissing, and attempted reach-through-the-bars clawing were in no short supply. I proactively double gloved (a thick poly blend inner glove, and leather work glove outers), wore my old jeans whose waist is 4 inches too big now with a belt to hold up the brown-bag fashion, wore steel toed shoes, and my old "Joe" labeled winter work coat, and donned safety glasses. I took along an old snow shovel in case the newly relocated & released felines turn and attacked after the 30 mile trip.

The scaredy cats did not stick around, and each ran off in a different direction. I know they'll have food and water there, as they join the other cats I've seen in that general area who are effective mousers doing charity work. So the 7 were now down to 4. I reset the traps last night, baited with the rest of the can of tuna, and waited. 16 hours later, the 4th one has been captured.
But the bob tailed ring leader, the one who is full of piss and vigor, appears to still be too wary to 'take the bait'.

We shall see what tonight's waiting brings. I'd much rather drive all 4 of the remaining feral cats to their new undisclosed location tomorrow night, but I'll settle for this fourth gullible one for now. Need to find a more irresistible form of bait...

One of the varmint traps failed to trip closed this morning, allowing the curious explorer to devour all the tuna therein. Galvanized mechanical springs are notoriously unreliable, but they're also cheap. Stay tuned, for more news about feline apartheid and the forced relocation as it develops.

Mmmmaple Bacon, From Canada

I picked up this very tasty bacon at COSTCO in January. Comes as as two pack. The first package baptized my new cast iron skillet and bacon press, filled my home with the delicious scent of maple syrup, and provided more than a week's worth of delicious pork produced protein.

The second package (pictured to the right) I cooked last week, and enjoyed it over the last 6 days. Yeah, the Maple Leaf brand does have some sugar in it, but my goodness, it is tasty! And it's so unhealthy, I am now below my 95Kg marriage weight - 16 Kgs lighter than I was eating carbs last summer, my blood work test results are better than they've been in decades, and I feel more energetic and youthful than anytime since my son finished junior high school. Organic apples, 75% cocoa dark chocolate, French & Italian wines (some of them organic, when I can find them), local mangoes, French & Italian & British cheeses, organic celery, carrots, romaine, spinach, hummus, soups... this is not as hard as I thought it was going to be!

Two Pussies Happily Sharing The Same Bed

It appears that these two pussies need their vitamin D. One of the windows in our Master bed room faces south, and both cats have been very happy to share the same sunny bed, all week. The house has been a steady 75F, without turning the heat on this month. It dropped down to 72F average in January, after a 74F average room temp in December. El Niño has brought moderate temperatures and unusually wet weather to AZ this year. All that UV might help our octogenarian felines to boost their Calcitriol
(1,25-Dihydroxycholecalciferol).

Oh, I DID turn the heat on one morning when the bed room temp was 69F even though the hall thermostat was reading 72F. The gas fired furnace ran for about an hour, one morning in January. After Dr Desert Flower went to work, I turned off the heat, and it has not been back on since.

A Very Indiana Superbowl

Superbowl XLIV will be a win-win-win-win-win-win in my perspective this year, regardless the out-come. Lemme explain:

• First, it's the Colts & the Saints, and even though the Colts beat my hometown Bears in 2007, that's ok, because Peyton Manning is such a nice guy, such a masterful quarterback, and he's so likable. And Tony Dungy (former coach) and Jim Caldwell (current coach) are both really nice guys from everything I have heard and read about them - good leaders who have the remarkably good luck to coach really exceptional players. (see point 6 below)
  
• Second, they are playing in an open air stadium as football is supposed to be played, not a dern dome (astro turf is not natural, causes injuries in contact sports, and biases games towards fleet-footed little boys who like to play indoors) as Superbowls are too often played.
• Third, the quarterback for the Saints, Drew Brees, went to Purdue, where many of my friends also went to college, and where I've been drunk a time or two. And Brees's mother died last year when the Saints were in training camp, so that made for a difficult year for him personally on some level. I almost went to Purdue, but the mid 80s recession, coupled with NW IN unemployment rates & the Rand McNally Hammond printing plant where my father worked closing when I was a kid drove me to select Terre Haute instead of West Lafayette.
  
• Fourth, New Orleans has never been to a Superbowl before in team history, and after Hurricane Katrina decimated the city, it's nice to see the underdog be successful.
• Fifth, the Colts use my alma mater, Rose Hulman Institute of Technology in Terre Haute, as their training camp. I played intramural foot ball on the same practice areas, and lived in the same dorms when I was in Terre Haute that the Colts do for 2 months each summer.
• Sixth, as I heard Frank Deford say on NPR this morning, "Should Peyton Manning lead the Colts to victory, he will absolutely have surpassed Tom Brady as the No. 1 quarterback of this generation." - and THAT warmed my heart. Sorry Patriots fans, but as Daniel Tosh succinctly summarized about Tom Brady: "Your coach is a cheater, your rings are a lie, you were a back-up from Michigan."

Dr. Desert Flower and I will be in Gilbert (which I pronounce - Jeehul-Bear... lol) grilling protein, and consuming beverages containing ethanol with our friends Tory and Alan. It should be a nice Sunday evening.

Classic Douchebag

Lord Salsbury, Wilkinson, Cardigan, Ascot, the Duke & Duchess of Argyle, Earl of Sandwich, and Lady & Lord Douchebag. Enjoy the link (here and here for script), and embed, while it lasts.

Here Comes the Rain Again

Timeless Annie. Forecast again calls for rain here in the Phoenix valley.

Solar Halo in Phoenix Today

The sun had a massive halo around it this afternoon as I worked out poolside. Lots of upper atmosphere frozen moisture. Most likely it'll rain tomorrow... for a very wet winter so far. Il faut voir.

It's really strange, after living in the land of moisture, mold, and green everywhere, where rain was a weekly, if sometimes daily occurrence... that here in the desert, they get all worked up on the weather forecasts about POSSIBLE rain. Sort of like "possible snow, at higher elevations, in the North Carolina Mountains" in the South Carolina Upstate, and all the stores' shelves north of I-85 would be bare of bread and milk... =P

Puccini's La Bohème

As I mentioned tangentially yesterday, Dr Desert Flower and I saw Puccini's La Bohème Saturday night. No incest, murder, poisoning, suicides, magic, myth, ghosts, spirits, undead, revolution, or 'forbidden love'. A bunch of artists living in Paris's Latin Quarter, one dieing of consumption - what eventually got morphed into Rent once HIV came to the forefront about a century later. It was well sung, finely acted, richly costumed, beautifully presented, effectively delivered. The sets were elaborate and effective. The pit orchestra only mildly over-powering when some of the duets were sung.

Neither DDF or myself had ever seen this one before. As we exited the theater, I asked her how she liked it.. and she said it was good, but not her favorite. Tosca, Don Giovanni, Magic Flute she said were more her style. Yes, those Were really wonderfully performed as well... but I really liked the simple love story, straight forward presentation of La Bohème. There is a "impersonal-ness" to Puccini though. Puccini was sort of a factory producer, with a lyricist, manager, producer, entourage cranking out one Italian opera after another for many years. Mozart on the other hand, was more of a small cottage industry, often cranking out masterpieces finished Just the night before the first performance and playing the piano parts himself (not yet written down), musical genius that he was. Each has his own flavor.

The gentle, warm, embracing approach of La Bohème yesterday was quite enjoyable, and this time the AZ Opera company didn't monkey around with Puccini, by bizarrely mixing different centuries wardrobes all in the same piece as the disastrous Tosca went last year, with SS uniforms, Lugers, Epees, 1950's bobby-socks, flash lights... ??? Pick a genre, and stay with it Mr. Altman. You successfully did this weekend, Thank you! Encore! Lather, rinse, repeat =)

We're looking forward to Rossini's The Barber of Seville in April! Deve vedere...

Colbert Christmas - Grammy Winner!

As I'm folding laundry and sipping my tea, much to my amusement, I see Stephen Colbert accepting a grammy for "Best Comedy Album" of 2009! "A Colbert Christmas, the Greatest Gift of All" - Too damn funny! He asks his teenage daughter in the audience "am I cool now?" LOL!

Grand Canyon Prickly Pear Tea, with Fresh Squeezed Organic Lemon

Back in November of 2007, Dr Desert Flower and I drove 4 and a 1/2 hours up to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon (after living in Arizona for 3-1/2 months), and after enjoying the spectacular views at sunset, we stopped at the Hermit's Rest gift shop at the far end of the western rim road. I got DDF some kinda opal necklace that she loves to wear... and she got me a bag of Prickly Pear Tea, which I have been rationing slowly but surely. Tonight, home alone on a 55F night, having a cup of warm prickly pear tea with a shot of fresh squeezed organic lemon juice from our backyard, sounded delicious. And indeed, it is! The lemon tree is coming into full ripeness this month. Come visit, and we will send you home with lemons in your luggage!

Greenback Fly

Working out and reading poolside again this afternoon (it was 70F today), and seeing so many thirsty hummingbirds, all with green backs, this Southern Culture on the Skids song kept coming to mind. Fly.. fly... fly... all Right!

Tonight, Dr Desert Flower and I go to see Puccini's La Bohème. No incest, murder, executions in this one... just crushing poverty & heart break. Unusual for an opera... might be interesting =)

Against their own self interests

Fine reporting by the BBC (link here), and tip of the hat to my friend Muki (one of the nicest people you could ever meet) for pointing out the story. Why people vote against their own self interests. They're stupid, and they don't want to be told their stupid, or made to feel more stupid / out of touch / clueless. They want to be wowed, and cajoled, made to feel folksy and comfortable, and 'have a beer with' the candidate, or chat with them at their church social, not get lectured to or talked down to by some 'elitist' all full of numbers and facts. Ugh!

Postnet & UPS = Failure

I wanted to send my father some organic stevia and some lemons from our backyard tree, so I put together a small box - 12 x 12 x 8 inches. I threw in a Michael Pollan book as well. 2.4 lbs all together. I headed to my local Postnet location, to mail it, since the nearest US Post Office is twice as far away and always miserably busy.

Entering the mailing & copying outlet, I was once again the only customer there - 3rd time I've been there. I tell the proprietor that I want to mail this small box to Indiana, no rush, slowest & cheapest means possible (the lemons will keep for a few days). I get out $10 and some change, expecting it to be $8 to $12 or so. A few minutes later, "That will be $18.09 for UPS ground" the Eritrean owner tells me. !!! She gives me a "10% discount" but it still comes to $16.28. I was in a hurry to mail it and get out of there, so, whatever. I forked it over.

2 days later, I am driving past my friendly neighborhood Fed-Ex location, and I have the receipt from Postnet in the car. Curious, I walk in, and there's 2 other customers being helped. The manager steps up promptly and asks if she can help me. I ask her, in theory, how much it would be to send a 12x12x8 sized 2.4 lbs package to NW IN, slowly, no rush. "$11.20 via Fed-Ex ground" she replied with a smile, after 5 seconds of keying it into her computer terminal. Wow.

I described to the Fed-ex personnel how UPS never waits for a signature, even when they are supposed to, the packages arrive as if they've been dragged through a dusty street in a third world country and then run over by a 12 ton military truck. When UPS packages are lost or stolen, the surly, indignant, unhappy driver demands you sign his "I did not get my shipment" affidavit in a huff, and when he brings the replacement package a week later, he Again drops it, runs, and doesn't wait for the required signature. 'What can Brown do for you?' - they can piss you off, lose your package, be extremely rude, and provide terrible service for an unreasonably high price. In contrast, the Fed-Ex driver in my neighborhood is friendly, customer centric, prompt, and the packages he's delivered are usually not disgustingly filthy & they get signed for (with a "Thank You").

What an epic failure of both Postnet & United Parcel Service. Whatever mark-up Postnet is adding, is no value added. I erroneously thought UPS ground would be cheaper than Fed-Ex. It's not, by nearly a 40% mark-up. I won't be using UPS again, and I have no need to go to Postnet other than to drop things off in their mail slot. And it is not just in Arizona. In South Carolina once, the UPS man left my new passport in a next-day envelope under my door mat - I had no awning, and it was raining. Another time, the UPS man left something as unimportant as our e-Loan mortgage re-financing closing papers on the door step as well. Thanks UPS.

When I was a small child in Indiana in the Winter, we used to relish throwing snowballs at the large UPS delivery trucks that frequently passed by my parents' home. I used to feel bad when I looked back at doing that as I got older. Now I wish I would've put rocks in the snowballs back in the 70s as we lobbed salvos at the brown panel vans, and then ducked into the network of snow tunnels we'd dug.

If you've had similar less-than-pleasant experiences with UPS, I encourage you to comment here. Venting is good for you, from time to time.

Inconel Machetes - High Quality Tools

25 years ago, my friend CKG gave me an inconel machete as an unexpected gift. Made by Incolma S.A. in Manizales Colombia, I did not know what to do with such an implement at the time. As I was a sort of rude and singularly focused teenage boy back then, I was not as grateful to her as I should have been in retrospect. The machete and it's decorative sheath sat in closets and moving boxes for decades. Then, in 2007, we moved to Arizona, and I saw Mexican landscapers using their machetes all the time on my neighbors' palm trees. So when my Mexican fence post cactus (MFPC) suffered frost damage in January 2008 from a record cold spell, I recalled I had this handy blade, and used it to amputate the blackened, moldy arms. It sliced through the meaty cactus like a hot knife through butter, much to my delight.

Near the end of 2009, I reconnected with my old friend CKG on a social networking site. She and I had not spoken to since before the internet was publicly available and people used to write actual pen and ink letters to each other =P I mentioned to her that I'd been using this handy blade extensively here. Not only on the MFPC, but I eviscerated a mammoth prickly pear cactus when I installed my solar pool heater in March 2009 - the prickly pear was nearly the size of the heater, so there was a great deal of hacking, with machete and shovel (nearer to the gravel). After hearing the usefulness of her gift, and my recent extreme hike in the SW Phoenix Mountains earlier this month, she shared with me the origin of said blade. Her grandparents (abuelitos) had/have a remote ranch in Colombia (the country, not the city) called La Estrella - the same name as the mountains I was hiking upon. The ancestral cattle & fruit ranch was accessible via car, then jeep, then horseback over mountains and river crossings. In CKG's words, my "machete was worn on hip of every man who worked and lived there". Very cool. I had no idea that this long shelved tool had such a rich origin, and it's quite useful here in this desert clime. The inconel will never rust, and it's hardness is nearly twice that of stainless steel. I clean it with Chlorox-wipes, after each usage to disinfect it, and thoroughly dry it (about 10 minutes in 10% RH here in AZ) before re-sheathing. Like my Finnish Fiskars pruners which have proven extremely useful in the garden and yard, this Incolma machete is now an invaluable part of my tool arsenal - and useful in home defense against zombies as well, if it comes to that. I hope I can hand it down to a grand child someday, many many years from now when I am too feeble to wield it properly.

How To Trim & Transplant Mexican Fence Post Cacti

Dominating our front yard is a 20 foot tall Mexican Fence Post Cactus (MFPC). It was planted in 2004, and the previous owner - according to my neighbor's observations - 'used to be out there every morning spraying something on it'. My observant neighbor has MFPC planted at the same time, within a week of mine, and his is 6 feet tall with arms no bigger than a human's. My MFPC is bigger than Barry Bonds, or Toruk. Problem is, the tallest arm, has started to Lean towards my garage.
Cacti are heavy, and I don't want it to come crashing down on my domicile in a strong storm. The roofs here are tile, and I don't want to think about how much fun that would be to repair.

So I assembled my Cactus specific gardening tools 2 weeks ago, just before the massive January rains arrived.

• The hat not only guards against too much UV exposure, but it also warns the wearer when the head is getting too close to a spine covered arm is in close proximity just-behind the head.
• The news paper is essential for wrapping around the arms, to making holding them less painful. Double gloving is recommended, cloth under leather, to protect the digits.
• The inconel machete will get it's own post later this weekend - it's essential to have such a useful tool here in the desert.
  
• Safety glasses keep any splatter from accidentally getting in the trimmer's eyes.
• 10:1 diluted water to bleach solution (normal laundry hypochlorite) in a spray bottle is the universal cacti disinfectant recommended by the Desert Botanical Garden, post chopping.
• Not pictured above are 10 and 6 foot ladders, a long sleeved shirt, trousers, and large sheets of left over card board.

I originally theorized that if I lopped off the top of the tallest arm, it would relieve the most stress, torsional load, and prevent a toppling. I did a free body diagram in my head, and decided where the best lopping off points would be. However, there were several larger arms preventing my access to the top, so I lopped them off first.
One hand on the machete. The other hand holding the arm that is about to come down via gravity once it is severed from the main plant. Newspaper wrapped around the spiny arm to help reduce the pain of being stabbed by MFPC needles. A Strong Downward Chopping motion with a sharp machete, and you should be able to hack through the arm.
After all the arms are chopped off, use the spray bottle of diluted bleach solution to disinfect the open wound and prevent infection. 10% is just enough to kill bacteria but not to damage the soft cactus tissue. Apply liberally.

















Now, the main plant is safe, but what to do with the arms you just chopped off?

Well, you can try to compost them, but they are covered in sharp needles. Not a good idea. You Could throw them away, and my City of Phoenix curbside dumpster IS large enough to contain them, but that is such a waste. So transplanting these newest arms, planting them next to the previously truncated arms (from frost damage in early 2008) was the option chosen.

DBG recommends to let the amputated arms dry for a day or 2 in the shade, to discourage infection at the open wound. I used my garage and the card board to rest them upon. Transferred to the card board using newspaper wrapped around the arm, and double gloved.

A week later, a rack, pick, spade shovel, garden trowel, and cushion to kneel upon were in order. Rake away the rocks, trowel carefully, closely to the existing arms, dig gently with pick and spade so as not to severe the network of established roots that has webbed out just below the surface of the soil.


Set the arms into the carefully dug hole, with space between them. Use clods of clay to brace them. MAKE SURE to orient the arms so that the sides that were southerly facing on the main plant previously, are still southerly face in the new location. Also make sure on the arms that have had the tops lopped off, that the UP side is pointed up, and the plant side, is in the ground. the MFPC telomeres will have a hard time doing a 180 when they start to sprout new children off the arms in a few months. For a belt-and-suspenders approach, I tie a loose nylon support line around some established stakes and loop it around the new transplants just in case they begin to lean once the ground settles. The transplants will never be larger than the original parent - I don't know what the previous owner used to spray on them - but I feel better not throwing these arms out. And the whole amputation & transplant process actually took longer to blog about, than it took out in the front yard to execute!

Colibri Induced Delight

When doing yoga by the poolside here in Phoenix on this last Friday afternoon in January, after getting a 55 hour week's worth of enjoyable & challenging work completed, on a sunny 65F day, with sparse cumulus clouds in the blue sky, a very light breeze, and a relatively humid 40% RH day, being occasionally buzzed by sorties of Costa's, Anna's, and Black Chinned hummingbirds... it brings me great satisfaction, lowers my blood pressure, renews my spirit, brings a smile to my aging visage, to see these tiny Colibri thirstily lap up the delicious & plentiful aloe flower nectar from plants that I transplanted last Spring and that are now 4 feet tall.

More people should really come visit us here. In the Fall, Winter, and Spring, it is really quite pleasant. And now, there's no more barking dogs to hear in the back yard too!

High Quality Fish Oil is STILL Good For You

Dr. William Davis has this wonderful post this week (link here) on Fish Oil supplements compared to Prescription Lovaza. I'll keep taking my 3 big ole capsules a day. No prescription needed. No paranoia warranted. http://heartscanblog.blogspot.com/

I will never Twitter

As I watch the do-nothing, partisan, self-absorbed, clueless Congress members and Senators disrespectfully & myopically Twittering during our Chief Executive's State of the Union Address, I am resolved - I shall never Twitter. 140 characters is ridiculously abbreviated. And WHO CARES what is on the mind of a Congressman or Senator as the President is speaking? Really, Who Cares? I see no added value in it.

Me, and Jon Stewart, we'll both not Twitter. =)

Obama maligns Endodontists!!

In his opening words in his first State Of The Union Address, Barack Obama said that the Wall Street bank bailout was "as popular as a root canal!" Endodontists around the nation are in an uproar. How dare he put down root canals!!! - I can see The Onion Headline now. LOL!

Will His Orangeness come to the defense of these maligned oral surgeons???

Racist 'White Men Can't Jump'

Last week, on Martin Luther King Day, a small group of hateful, fearful, bigoted, southern racists lead by a boxing & wrestling promoter who goes by "Moose" announced an "All-American Basketball League" that would only accept "Only players that are natural-born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league". What a bunch of scared little white boys!

Moose said: "Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?" LOL! First, I don't like the NBA and all the acting that goes on (I was fouled!!! yeah, whatever), but if I was a NBA fan, I would not be intimidated by someone flipping me off. Being attacked in the stands? Come on, there's thousands of other people watching! Having a player 'grab his crotch'? Why does that bother you Moose? Were you intensely staring at his crotch? Latent desires, Moose, perhaps? I cannot even imagine such fear, but I have a pair, and don't need to grow any.

But I can imagine some creative names of teams... as have my friends JoeM and Matt. Many of them very amusing:

Birmingham [Cross] Burners
Macon Micropenises
Aiken Anti-semites
Eunice (Louisiana) Eunuchs
Washington (NC) Grand Wizards
Pelzer Paranoids
The Gainsville Gravity Bound
Pacolet Pigment Impaired
Hattiesburg Haters
Auburn Aryans
Talladega Intolerants

Or, since corporations are now people and are allowed to buy whatever they want, incorporate some product names:

Mississippi Crackers...brought to you by Saltines
Florida Trailers...sponsored by Airstream
Chatahoochee Pork Rinds...brought to you by Carls Jr (JoeM - you crack me up!)
Indus Idiocrats

And I don't think "Moose" understands what he is asking for. Webster defines "Caucasian" as
"of, constituting, or characteristic of a race of humankind native to Europe, North Africa, and southwest Asia and classified according to physical features —used especially in referring to persons of European descent having usually light skin pigmentation."

So people with parents who are Iranian, Tunisian, Pakistani, Lebanese, Libyan, Moroccan, Israeli, Syrian, Jordanian, Afghan, some Egyptians, Turks, and those 'swarthy' Southern Europeans like Italians and Greeks who used to be openly discriminated against in America in the early 20th century, can ALL play in this segregated league if they were born in the US, and are "light skinned". Do they have to be Christian[TM] too Moose?

I wonder what it is like to go through life so full of hate and fear, that you have to concoct a private little laughable league where only you and people who look like you can play, or attend the games? Pathetic.

How To Silence Your Neighbor's Yappin Dogs

In 2008, before they were foreclosed upon, our neighbor to the south of our home - whose house is all of 8 feet from our house on these 1/10th acre Phoenix plots - had 2 fully grown pit bulls. The pit bulls used to bark incessantly, deeply, loudly. I used to climb my 10ft ladder, and watch sunsets from the roof of my patio from time to time, looking out over the western bordering roofs of the 2 story neighbors, and occasionally YELL LOUDLY "cerrar la boca, maldita sea!" (they belonged to a Mexican lady) - usually the pit bulls listened, when they saw me on the roof, and cowered at the far end of their yard. Then, last year, they moved out when the owner walked away from the underwater mortgage. We were finally able to enjoy our backyard, without an annoying barking dog on the other side of the 6 foot wall separating us.

Then, in 2009, renters moved into the adjacent property to our north, and they had a poorly trained pit bull that barked incessantly. We could hear it through our bed room wall. Luckily, that renter left after 3 months (a common Phoenix trend amongst rent jumpers).

In April of 2009, the southern adjacent property (former home of pit bulls who understood Spanish commands) was purchased in a short sale. A few months later, our new neighbor brought in his 2 tiny dogs - one is some kind of Chihuahua and the other is a Jack Russell Terrier mix. Gyure's doggy energy theory holding true, these tiny dogs were yappers. Interestingly, though Dr Desert Flower could hardly ever hear the deep low pit bull barks, these little yappers drove her nuts. As our southern adjacent neighbor lives there only some weekends, and in North Central AZ other weekends, the little yappin dogs were an intermittent nuance. With the large number of feral cats in our neighborhood patrolling the property dividing walls, evenings this month became full of barking - loud enough to hear over the television.

But Dr Desert Flower is a very resourceful woman, and when something annoys her, she takes action. Last Friday night, she started searching for a solution that leveraged modern technology. Saturday morning, we found this "bird house" model of an outdoor back control device, from PetSafe, on the Petsmart website - we like Petsmart, and find it has a wider variety of items than Petco or other pet-related retailers near us. We Could Have ordered it from Amazon, but then if it didn't work, returning it is a pain in the neck. Some customers loved this device, and some hated it. We talked to the manager at Petsmart Saturday afternoon, and for $70 we took one home that day. The manager warned that for some dogs it works great, and for others, it doesn't work at all - just angers them more.

The Petsafe birdhouse model (UPC 2984911216, Radio Systems Corporation, Knoxville TN; US patent 5,724,919; assembled in China from US components) runs on a 9 volt battery, and has an adjustable range, 50 feet max. It's water proof. The installation guide states strictly that it should not be mounted more than 5 feet from the ground. The property walls are 6 feet tall in Phoenix, so I exceeded that by about 18 inches, as I mounted it on a tree pointing downward slightly, into the yappin dogs' yard to the south. The microphone hears the bark (or other loud decibel stimulus) and emits a strong ultrasonic PULSE. I can almost hear it - I used to work in an audio speaker manufacturing facility that used ultrasonic welders. Hearing the ultrasonic welders always made my teeth hurt and gave me a "C-clamp across my temporal lobes" kind of head ache. This 9V powered unit just makes me wince a little, but causes no headache like the speaker factory used to do years ago.
So I mounted the device, cranked it up to "MAX", and hoped for the best. Within the hour, the little yappin dogs were let out into their yard. From inside my home, I heard "RUFFFFF-yipe!" ... and a long pause. A few minutes later "RUFF-yipe!" ...and then blissful silence. It Worked!

Sunday came and went without any barking. I even grilled chicken wings whiling watching the New Orleans Saints drive my least favorite Quarterback into the ground repeatedly as they defeated the Minnesota Vikings (I had it on DVR to watch the ex Packer getting knocked down repeatedly). The grill is 5 feet from the bark control bird house, and using it normally prompts a barrage of barking from the neighbor's yard.

So Dr Desert Flower and I are delighted that we've reclaimed our back yard from the annoyance of nuisance barking, and it worked the first time. I'm going to run my old smoke detector & CO detector batteries through it, to drain the last vestiges of residual power in each - it's good to change out all the detectors when one starts beeping, so I have 1/2 a dozen on hand at any time.

Drink Coffee, Avoid Glioma

Tip o the hat to Dr Desert Flower for this wonderful journal article link (here) from the Cancer Epidemiology Biomakers & Prevention journal:

"Our findings suggest that consumption of caffeinated beverages, including coffee and tea, may reduce the risk of adult glioma". (Glioma, for us non-scientists and non MDs, is a type of Brain Cancer) Decaf doesn't work.

I am doing my part, 2 to 3 cups of coffee and 3 to 5 cups of tea each day - all with delicious Stevia in them. mmmmm

One For Andre Bauer & His Supporting Constituents

a DK classic: "Kill the Poor"

Thank You, South Carolina

Daily Show did a hilariously sad & accurate segment last night on comedy material provided by South Carolina (link here - it will not embed). Clueless Joe Wilson, 'Hiking the Appalachian Trail' Sanford, the Repeated Horse Sodomite, and now the elitist Lt. Governor Andre Bauer who never misses an opportunity to show case his rich, white, holier-than-thou, CINO bias. Yes Andre, the poor are just like stray animals. Starve them, and they'll stop reproducing.

I'm so glad I escaped the soul crushing gravitational pull of the Palmetto State after living there for 16 years. Yes, Arizona has Kyle, Shadegg, Flake, the totalitarian Sheriff Joe, and it's full of Mormons and bigoted haters of Mexicans. But South Carolina has the jokers mentioned above, the KKK, Maurice Beeinger, Jim DeMint, and is full of Southern Baptists who used to greet "coloreds" with base ball bats at the entrance to white churches. Not to mention the oppressive humidity and incessant deluge of pollen, mixed with an occasional hurricane. I'll take the desert instead.

What the World Needs Now...

a classic from Cracker, that makes me smile every-time I hear it. A recent letter I got from an old friend recalled a few ancient neurons that had logged this in the back of my brain.

Lens Marked By Religion

Benjamin Bush, a veteran Marine officer who served in Iraq, had this poignant commentary on NPR today about the incredibly stupid and mis-guided marking of US military rifle scopes by a fundamentalist weapons manufacturer with Bible Verse references, that the Bush Administration thought would be a good idea / over looked / tacitly encouraged. Thanks again neocons, recruit more jihadist America haters! Prove to them Umerika is on a crusade. Under-estimate their intelligence, and observations, and get more Americans killed. Wonderfully nuanced. It's worth the 4 minutes, to listen.

Link to Bush's piece here. It was beautifully direct, and spoken from experience. "Hold The Hallelujah: The Perils Of Rifles And Religion"

Best quotes from the piece:
"By branding weapons with Christian messages, there is a deep and ugly blending of religion, politics and bloodshed, and it has unwittingly painted our government and military with the embarrassing language of "crusade.""

"I leave you with a verse that has not been stamped on our weapons: "But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you" — Matthew 5:44."