Converting Guano Into Something Useful

I voted last Monday via absentee ballot, as I will not be in town next Tuesday to cast my vote locally.  Even though our democracy is extremely flawed, and special interests have bought and sold most politicians and the leadership of both the Democrats and the Republicans, I still feel that if a citizen doesn't vote, then they also need to 'sit down and shut up' if they disagree with anything that their government does, locally, in their state, or in their country.  If they've voted, then they have a voice - even if it is a very quiet one, muffled by millions of dollars of Super-PAC funds and billionaire robber barons who are manipulating the media and the electoral system for their own personal gain or promoting their brand of ideology.

Here in California, there's all sorts of online resources for sample ballots (like this one, here), and how to find out where to vote in your precinct.  Since it's a well funded Blue State (for the most part everywhere except Orange County, apparently) that gives more to the Federal government than it takes from the Feds, and it has a remarkably educated citizenry who are also motivated to try and show that government can do work that promotes the greater good, things tend to "work better here" than they did in Arizona, South Carolina, or Indiana, where Dr Desert Flower and I lived previously over the last 30 years.

But when it comes to the lesser known, "non partisan" races, for school boards, commissions, and judgeships, it is somewhat harder to discern what a candidate stands for, how they might vote, and to whom they owe their allegiances, their moral and political alignment.  Sure, one can individually Google every candidate and thoroughly research each race, but that takes time.

Luckily, one group of very angry, mostly white, mostly very old (retired), highly motivated and very vocal Tea Party affiliated Orange County California residents set up a website that helped guide me as to who I Do Not want to vote for: everyone they've recommended.  (link here) or the long link form, here: http://octeapartyblog.com/oc-tea-party-blog/

It was very handy to see broad generalizations and Made-for-Fox-News hyperbole right there, in black and white, published for all of those devotees who consider guano as one of the 4 basic food groups.  Here are some actual text excerpts from the idealogical (and illogical) page:

"STATE GOVERNOR
*Neel Kashkari (R) vs. Jerry Brown (D)
RECOMMENDATION: Skip this portion of the ballot! I vehemently recommend that folks skip this portion of their ballots! Leaving the Governor’s portion on your ballots blank this year, will send a very loud and clear message to the CA GOP that you’ve had enough of them pushing RINO candidates on us, especially for such crucial offices! Had the GOP and their progressive donor allies not steamrolled over the authentic conservative in the primary Tim Donnelly, this race to challenge Jerry Brown would have likely been much more competitive and Brown would’ve been forced to defend his atrocious record!"

Yes, Jerry Brown has an atrocious record.  He's brought the state out of the massively deep fiscal hole Schwarzenegger and the Republicans dug (just like Obama had to with Bush), and successfully launched an expanded California Cares medical website without hiccups (better than the Affordable Care Act did).  He's being a moderate & successful governor....   how atrocious!   Earlier this week, the OC Tea Party website actually called Kashkari a "Liberal Republican candidate" but they've since taken that wording down.  Now they are just urging voters to NOT vote.  Fools.

For Lt Governor, Treasurer, and State Attorney General, same thing:  "No Recommendation" - they hate both the candidates because they are not bat sh*t crazy enough to warrant a Tea Party endorsement.

Then...  for State Controller, they list this gem:

"STATE CONTROLLER
*Ashley Swearengin (R) vs. Betty Yee (D) (OPEN SEAT)
NO RECOMMENDATION Ashley Swearengin is said to be the new rising star of the state GOP, but she’s certainly not the rising star of conservatives! As the Mayor of Fresno, this woman is an ardent supporter of Jerry Brown’s bullet train and she refuses to rule out the possibility that she might even vote for Brown this November!"
WHAT!?!?!?!  She might compromise, seeking a middle ground, and work across the aisle to get the business of governing done, instead of pouting in her own sand box if she doesn't get her way 100%?  Unimaginable!!!!!

And then, on judges, this bat sh*t site was very useful.  One such example is here:

"JUDGES
*STATE SUPREME COURT: Goodwin Liu RECOMMENDATION: Vote NO
You may be surprised to know this, but Goodwin Liu was nominated by Obama in early 2010 and again in 2011 to serve on the ninth circuit court of appeals! He is a former UC Berkley Law Professor, who was so incredibly liberal, that even some Senate Democrats joined Republicans in blocking attempts to end their filibuster of him! Obama had to withdrawal his nomination, not once but twice! Even the liberal former Obama Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel had reservations about nominating him because of his extreme views! Liu is a radical pro-abortion supporter, who also believes in an “evolving” Constitution! After a 16 month battle to keep Liu from the ninth circuit, Obama finally dropped his nomination. Shortly after that, Jerry Brown appointed him to our state’s highest court! I’ve pasted tons of info about Liu below! I strongly encourage you to vote NO on him!! This guy has no business serving on the bench! Vote NO on Goodwin Liu for re-election to the Supreme Court!"

Don't pay any attention to his legal record, his rulings, jurist prudence, or judgement... none of those things obviously matter if he has all that Obama all over him!!!  Focus only on ideology, and ideology only.  We get our way, or we don't vote!  Or maybe...  we take up those "2nd amendment remedies".  Guano.  Absolutely bat sh*t crazy.

But you know...   I should not be so hard on the OC Tea Party.  I can relate.  When I lived in South Carolina and Arizona, I knew I was always throwing my vote away when I checked the boxes for reasonable candidates who were opposed to Methuselah (McCain) or running against total Flakes, Brewers of terrible beverages, or total anachronisms who soon will be extinct as their telomeres continually shorten.  It's just a matter of time before the OC dinosaurs die out as well.

AZ Has No Shortage of Guano

As far as crazy people go, my current state of residence has no shortage.  A young dejected loser, who would not even be accepted by the US Army when he applied in Phoenix, poses rambling questions to his elected Congresswoman back in 2007 - so rambling that even "friends" of 'Jared' thought the question was incomprehensible.  So disillusioned and isolated, this unstable Tucson-ite gets kicked out of community college, arrested on Pot charges, buys a Glock 9mm at an Arizona gun shop right after the November 2010 election, and plots his next move. If his personal agenda could not be solved "by the ballot" then he'd solve it "with bullets".

Jared then sees that his district's Congresswoman Gabriel Giffords is going to hold a 'town hall' meet & greet at a local Tucson Safeway on a Saturday morning.  He goes there, with 33 round extended magazines.  To get a good idea of what a 33 round extended clip Glock 9mm looks like, see the picture to the right.  A Glock has a standard 15 round clip.  To get the "extended" clip that holds 33 rounds, the magazine sticks out twice as long as the pistol's handle. Shown here is one magazine loaded into a Glock 9mm, and 2 additional standard 15 round magazines beside the weapon.

So this delusional Jared boy walks up to Congresswoman Gifford, and shoots her in the head (forehead, from the preliminary look of the ambulance bound photos).  Luckily for Gifford, Jared, not knowing much about firearms apparently, did not have the foresight to buy hollow tipped bullets, so the bullet passed through her skull and out the back.  Also luckily for Gifford, she had a staffer who was trained as a first responder, who applied pressure to the wounds, slowed the bleeding, shielded Gifford from intrusive cameramen, and "probably saved her life" (per the "this Week" ABC report this morning).  Another 6 people, including a 9 year old girl born on 9-11, and Federal Judge John Roll, were not as lucky, and died.  Another 13 people are wounded, some of them critically.  One of the wounded was a woman who after being shot, attempted to wrest the weapon and new magazine from Jared as he tried to reload, while kept yelling "why!?!?" at him (per ABC's "This Week").

Originally, law enforcement was looking for a 2nd "person of interest" who was seen by witnesses running from the seen just prior to the assassination attempt.  This afternoon, Yahoo News was announcing that this misguided idiot Jared "acted alone" from what initial investigations of his home, his internet postings, and the suspect himself were revealing.

Where could a disillusioned, mentally unstable person like Jared get the idea to shoot at, and try to kill an elected official?  Well, sarahpac.com has a convenient list of targets.  I wonder how many other of the Democrats on this list have increased their security details.  Thanks sarah, and glen, Hush Dimbulb, and all the others.  Heck, even Olbermann apologized on air, for ANY acts of violence his rhetoric might have inspired in the past and strictly told all his viewers that nothing a pundit says should ever lead to violence (transcript here).  Calls from Fox News on a similar message have yet to be broadcast or heard.

There is no shortage of guano in Arizona.  Lots of publicly carried hand guns, no shortage of misguided "blame it all on Mexicans" xenophobes, and now one less rational politician.  Giffords may recover, but ask Reagan's press secretary Jim Brady how easy it is to return to your day job after being shot in the head.   First South Carolina, and now Arizona... no shortage of nut cases.

Wanting to get the US back on the gold standard, claiming the US Constitution has no authority to establish police forces, claiming no one in AZ district 8 is literate, posing rambling questions to Congresswomen and getting mad when they don't answer it to your satisfaction, and posting nonsensical youtube videos just prior to going on a shooting spree, I hope Jared finds his new role as "prison b*tch girl friend" enjoyable, until the day he's executed by the vengeful US judiciary system.

Another Good Reason To Do Yoga

Another good reason to do yoga: it pisses off closed minded, ignorant, 16th Century paradigm, fundamentalist Religious Leadership.  Tip of the hat to Jill (master of libraries, or mistress of libraries?) for this link (here). 

"Southern Baptist Seminary President Albert Mohler... says "the idea that the body is a vehicle for reaching consciousness with the divine." "That's just not Christianity," Mohler told The Associated Press."

Maybe the Southern Baptists will follow the example of the Roman Catholic church in alienating and driving away all of it's core followers (1 in 10 Americans is an ex-Catholic), and further reduce their congregation attendance by sticking to the narrowest, most exclusionary interpretation of dogma possible. 

Once again, Fundamentalism shows its true self.  'Adhere to our narrow view of things, of get out of our club'.  'We're right, everyone else is wrong.'. 

Yeah, increasing flexibility, muscle tone, reducing stress, helping to regulate blood sugar, increasing breathing control, lowering blood pressure, practicing biofeedback, weight reduction, relating to your natural environment, practicing self discipline and control... these are ALL so very un-Christian[TM].

I wish the best of luck to Mr Mohler and his ilk.  It truly is nice when the face of evil, exclusionary, closed minded fundamentalism shows it's ugly head. 

Rickles & Palpatine

The Daily Show and Colbert have been ON FIRE this week. Poignant, relevant, hilarious. It is sad that it takes a satirical fake news show to excoriate moronic politicians and Idiocracy in general.

Wednesday's TDS (link here) (with a Perfect Glen Beck parody)
Wednesday's Colbert (link here)
Thursday's TDS (link here)
Thursday's Colbert (link here)

"6 Degrees of people who don't eat bacon?"
"Is Fox News a terrorist command center!?!?"
"If there is anyone who can bring Muslims, Christians and Jews together, it is Moses"
"The law firm of Rickels & Palatine" - this had me jetting my drink out of my nose!
"The Republicans should be paying News Corp a million dollars!"
Lewis Black on Eat, Pray, Love... not Sh*t, Shower, Shave: "Tip of the crapberg machete"
"No Jon, she stunned me with a cattle gun"
"Laura Rove"

"Nixon had a parlor game where he wrapped babies in ice"
"Irish churches, or 'pubs' as they call them"
"Land of Deportunity"
"It's not Money, Fame, or Records. It's all those things together"
to Brett Favre: "Stab you in the eye with a broken broom handle"
from Rand Paul: "Electric fence under the border"

I do like my DVR.

"The Palin Model" as Andrew Sullivan Points Out

Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish has a wonderful piece on "The Palin Model". In his succinct summary (I can't put it better): "Sharron Angle is only doing what Sarah Palin did - ducking the media, channeling her message entirely to the base, avoiding what she called the "filter" whereby her statements and record could actually be challenged by reporters. Angle has not quite gotten away with it because the Nevada press is much, much more professional than the national press corps. But she's trying. And she heralds a possible era in which candidates do not even pretend to be accountable, but exist in a bubble of machine politics, with its own media apparatus, designed for p.r. not scrutiny.

And then there are the clones, as above. If the pretty, big-boobed, gun-toting hottie paradigm was enough to get an unbalanced know-nothing this [sic] close to the presidency, then you can rest assured others took notice." (link here)

Rand Paul, The Gift That Keeps On Giving

The more this libertarian extremist opens his mouth, the more I love him. Yes Rand, show us your true colors.
""What I don't like from the president's administration is this sort of, 'I'll put my boot heel on the throat of BP,'" Paul said in an interview with ABC's "Good Morning America." ''I think that sounds really un-American in his criticism of business.""

Yes Rand, and Massey Energy is a poor, beleaguered, tiny little business barely scraping by, whose only purpose is to provide awesome paying, intrinsically safe jobs to the coal workers of Appalachia, they'd never ever operate unsafely, ever.

Saying the United States Executive Branch is putting a "boot heel" on "BP's throat" is sort of like an Ewok trying to stand on Jabba The Hut's throat.

Please Rand, continue to speak more of your devout Libertarian beliefs in national forums, so that more Americans can Kenfuckians can hear you.

"Bring a chicken to the doctor"

Thanks to my buddy Matt for this hilarious link!

How many chickens... at approx $2 per bird, did she pay for all that plastic surgery? Sue Lowden, just another right wing nut case. Let's see is Nevadans are dumb enough to elect her.

One can only hope

One can only hope that such a guano, extremist, ultra right wing ticket would run. It's amusing to me to see how much time and effort and enthusiasm is being put into such conservative pipe dreams, here, here, and here. Makes me want to never again put a bumper sticker on any vehicle I own - which ended in 2004 with a "Regime Change Begins At Home" sticker on my Honda Civic that got it keyed in the company parking lot from some dumb*ss South Carolina redneck engineers who truly believed W was an awesome president who deserved a 2nd term. Keyed, drinks dumped on the wind shield, spit upon, doors Massively & Intentionally Dinged... yeah, I worked with lots of grown ups in South Carolina back in 2004.

No Shortage of Fundie "Christian" Nutjobs

If you haven't yet heard about the ATF & FBI raising the Hutaree Militia / Cult / Violent Separatist movement in Michigan yesterday, there are links here (from Faux news) and here (from the Detroit News). These guys are real pieces of work. Google cached their myspace page (link here) some time ago. Page down through it, for the utterly delusional graphics and posts. Link to the Hutaree.com website here. And links to other state militias who want to duplicate Hutaree in OH, TX, and elsewhere.

Truly guano crazy, these guys were training to battle the Antichrist[TM]. But in the mean time, they recently hatched a plan to kill Michigan Police officers with an IED, and then to kill anyone who goes to the funeral of the fallen officer with more IEDs. Because you know, "Greather love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13, on the top of Hutaree's webpage no less!). So by this axiom, none of the police are your friends if you are a Christian Fundamentalist who is training for the Apocalypse? And since Jesus always preached justifiable murder, killing police officers is a good thing? Wait... Jesus didn't preach that, at least not in this plane of the Amber Universe.

Please oh please, Rush, Guano Beck, Insanity Hannity, Palin, et al... come to their Defense. Reiterate how they are innocent until proven guilty. Do an in-depth exposé about how militia groups are good, up-standing Americans, not violent extremists determined to commit sedition.

Jon Stewart Channels Guano Beck Perfectly, Again

Last night's Daily Show (link here) was a keeper for sure. Jon did a perfect Beck - it's easy and very funny to parody the craziest people. Last November (link here) he did a piece on the misguided Mormon, but last night's show opening was hilarious, magnificent, dead on. "Conservative Libertarian" - every time I watch the clip, I cannot stop chuckling.

Almost there...

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Rachel Maddow had a very nice fact filled summary and time line last night on what is ahead on the health care reform bill. When each provision would kick in for children, for:

• pre-existing conditions,
• rescission,
• max yearly benefits,
• being able to cover your children until they are 26,
• not being able to be denied coverage,
• 85% of your health care premium being required to provide health care back to you, etc etc

The amount of guano, hysterical, truly insane "the sky is falling" tea bagger and repugnican rhetoric is reaching a crescendo, against health care reform, against complying with the census, by the birthers & other conspiracy theorists. Rachel documented some of that too. It's far too much for me to repeat here, but definitely worth a watch.

If it doesn't get passed, then there really way more insane, selfish (I got mine, FU!), gullible nut-jobs in the US than I thought, and far too many spineless federal politicians. We shall see.

Of course, it was Satan!

Genius Pat Roberston nailed it once again with clarity and insight. Haiti's capital Port au Prince, was destroyed by a magnitude 7 quake, because hundreds of years ago the Haitians made a pact with Satan (link here).

Yes, Robertson's vengeful Christian[TM] god thought it was a good idea to kill the Catholic Arch-bishop (Papist!), 1000s of children, 2 hospitals, nearly the entire UN Mission. Soon, Pat will likely be asking for donations to fight sympathy for these Satanists, just as he did against Sally Struthers for an ionic tractor disruptor (link here).

What a stupid, evil, delusional, hypocritical old coot.

Delayed Teabag Outrage

2 months later, NPR (link here) finally catches up with JustJoeP covering Fiore. I had no idea I was so prescient.

1500 comments on NPR's page and an upset Ombudsman (link here).

NPR did not know teabagging had any sexual implications... LMAO!

I'll be sure to check with my ombudsman too!

Git Yer Guns!

My favorite Uncle and Godfather in the Chicago suburbs forwards me guano nut case emails from his friends and neighbors, many of them focused upon how "Obama wants to take your guns." Now, my Uncle is a gun owner & gun rights advocate, as am I - not an absolutist as the NRA likes to claim all of their members are (link here, to moderate NRA polling results), but reasonable ones. My Uncle doesn't believe any of the Birther, Muslim, Higher Taxes (for those making less than 1/2 a million a year) malarkey, but he is more prone to believe the anti-gun rhetoric, due to proximity to Chicago and the restrictive laws that Illinois is considering.

So I did a little bit of a mining project today online. All of the references to Obama being anti-gun are from right wing nut jobs & mouthpieces that reveal no credible evidence about President Obama, or from the NRA and gun advocacy groups who want to spin up gun sales and fervor over an imagined threat (can you imagine being forced into a shotgun gay marriage!?!?). As a Senator, and in debates with trounced fundamentalist Alan Keyes (75% margin) Obama did state he was for reasonable laws on gun safety, but not confiscation.
Gunowners of Umerikah tell their followers that Obama is going to issue a "No Guns" Decree on no factual basis (link here)
Tea Party Organizers encourage their devotees to bring guns to angry protest rallies, most recently in New Mexico this week (link here).
Guano Beck, O'Falafel (O' فلافل‎ ), Hannity-insanity, and other mouthpieces inspire their followers to commit violence against unarmed innocent people they fear (link here).

This is not new, before he was elected, right wing lobbyists were singing this song loudly
(links here, here, here, and here, for just a few). What is new, is the level of intensity of the rhetoric, the real shortages of ammunition on store shelves as the paranoid grab it up, the rise in gun & ammo prices (supply & demand, the manipulated hand of the market), and the frequency that guns are being brought to enraged public rallies, not to mention the body count in PA, OH, Arkansas, DC, and elsewhere, murdered by devout believers who buy the books and believe the rhetoric of the windbags above.

I don't want my ammo to be so ridiculously expensive. I don't want Unitarians to be shot in their churches. I don't want security guards to be shot at Holocaust museums or in Vegas federal buildings, or police officers to be blasted by delusional right wingers in OH and PA. And I don't want some Secret Service sniper, to put a slug into an angry armed protester when the enraged - whipped up by rhetoric [akin to 'FIRE!' in a theater] begins to threaten the safety of the legally elected Chief Executive of the United States.

Poignant Observation from a British Comedian

John Oliver was interviewed on WHYY's Fresh Air today, and it was quite a hilarious dialogue. One Extremely Disturbing part of the segment, was when Terry Gross asked John about his interviews at Palin rallies. This British comic, who had been working in the US on a temporary work visa until a few days ago when he finally got his green card after 3 years, said the following:

"Mr. OLIVER: The people's fear, again, is real. That's the thing. I guess the most extreme - I would actually go back to the Sarah Palin rally. We went to a Palin rally in Scranton and so there were people turning up there and their fear was real. But when you talk to someone and they look you in the eye and say he is a Muslim. And not only do they mean that but they mean that they believe that to be a problem. And they then go on to say this country is going to be overrun by terrorists. They're not joking, now. They mean that and their fear is real. They're not faking it, you know, they've - if you gave them a pulse rate you would see their pulse quickening as they said it. And that was the problem with that whole end to the McCain-Palin campaign was it's so cancerous. The hate - the poison opening out there, you know, the - even after the election, they're terrified, these people. They're terrified of this man. Now, there's no reason for them to be, but they don't feel that."

John Oliver is hilarious. We saw him in Scottsdale last year do stand up and it was genius. He's also a very keen observer. Not being an American, he's able to see the guano crazy among us Americans more clearly (I think) than polarized Americans can.

Thank you Dick

Dick Cheney continues to reinforce that America made the right decision in jettisoning the Republicans from the White House and Congress in 2008. Everything this very negative, evil, war mongering chicken hawk, paranoid, hateful, hypocritical, war profiteer spouts of out the hole in the front of his face since his party lost the national elections last year is more and more polarized, more extremist, more decisive, more guano. It helps to remove any doubt or impatience with the current administration and current Congress. His recent Politico interview (link here) is 'case in point'. Chris Matthews called him 'the troll under the bridge who comes out to bite kids in the ankle' - oh Chris! You give old Dick too much credit!

Thank you Dick. Your unpatriotic criticisms of our leaders, while America's enemies listen closely, help bring a smile to my face and remind me just how nuts and marginal your party and ideology really are. Keep speaking, as often as possible, and drag the 21% of the nation who are goaters with you (goaters = people who would continue to support Bush even if they personally walked in on him having sex with a goat).

Palin 2012, I sure hope so

Whether it is Palin, or Beck, or some other combination of clueless demagogues who cling to their fears, tax-cuts, mis-information, quick-creationism, fundamentalism, or other "quaint" beliefs and biases whose diminishing influence in a modern, informed and fact-based America continues to make them More and More irrelevant, I am looking forward to the most vacuous ticket possible. Hockey moms who desert their elected offices, victimized Mormons who 'just ask questions', former MA governors whose investment capital firms gut American business and send jobs over seas... the more vocal and charismatic and "lovable" by their hard-core primary voter Republican voter base, the better!

These popularly hyped-up dim-wits futile attempts to win over the VAST MAJORITY of the uncommitted middle of America, the independents, will fail miserably. Sure, thousands of tea-baggers will gather, and blog, and comment on Pox news, and gnash their teeth, and try to rally others, but it will not get the vast majority of Americans interested in voting for ideological nut-jobs. This MIGHT result in Splintering of the Republicans into the "Conservative Party" and the remaining moderates, but that would be out of character for voting base who is well versed at marching lock-step with what their idolized leaders tell them to do.

Breaking the plurality of the American corporate 2 party system would be the Best Thing to happen to the democratic process since the 4 way split of 1824! Let the fringe 20% further become a separatist and regional party, and more strongly embody the side-show in which they continue to increasingly perform. All other major Democracies in the world do not engage in a 2 party system, just the corporately driven Americans embrace it.

Palin or other equally fringe personalities have no more chance of winning national office in the US as Le Pen did in France, even if they run 5 times (like JM Le Pen has). I'm looking forward to participating in a multi-party democracy in the future.

Joe's Blog Round-up & Random Anecdots

A collective of many short entries, for your information and amusement:

Rufus Blooter - flame throwers & hearing
http://rufusblooter.blogspot.com/2009/11/selective-hearing.html

Hyperlipid - Lardo, mmmmmm
http://high-fat-nutrition.blogspot.com/2009/11/food-lardo-real-thing.html

Crooks and Liars has Wanda Sykes mocking Ann Colter
http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/cspanjunkie/meet-president-obamas-new-where-go-and

Pharyngula shows evolution in 2 minutes
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/11/evolution_in_two_minutes.php

Huffington Post's take on how Goldman Sachs got H1N1 virus vaccines before health care workers, kids, and pregnant women.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/08/seth-meyers-amy-poehler-g_n_349895.html
which SNL & then Lewis Black ranked on as well on the TDS.

...and a random but humorous old SNL skit on Bar Flies:
http://www.morethings.com/fan/saturday_night_live/jon_lovitz/devil_in_peoples_court.htm

Guano - (a new category here): Bachmann's cluelessness
http://zaiusnation.blogspot.com/2009/11/rally-against-health-care-reform-was.html

Wingnut militias - describing an video game to promote civil war against "Obama's Coup"
http://crooksandliars.com/david-neiwert/militia-madness-online-game-based-am