There WIll Be Apricots

The apricot tree beside our garage has started to bloom.  The previous owners said that the tree was previously so productive that they used to string netting from the fence to the garage eves to catch all the fruit before it fell to the ground - they've left us the netting.  I think in a few months I'm going to have to start stringing it up, and harvesting daily.  That is, if the house finches stop raiding the blossoms, tearing each one off in quest of some tiny drop of nectar promised within perhaps.

Warblers and finches used to do the same thing in Phoenix with the yellow and orange blossoms on the trees around our house, but those were not fruit trees, so I never felt like I was being robbed of fruit.  I actually opened up the breakfast nook's sliding window this morning and growled at the finch raiders, who just looked at me like I was crazy, and went on tearing off blossom after blossom.  The tree has, if I had to guess (like a jelly bean jar), at least a 1000 buds and blossoms on it, so sacrificing a few dozen to adolescent male finches is not that big of a deal.

Supposedly apricot trees (or at least the variety planted beside our garage) are on a three year cycle, where they go two years without producing fruit, and then on the third year put out a massive crop.  From the looks of the blossoms, we are fortunate that our first spring in our new home will be blessed with apricots - and the oven even has drying racks, if we want to truly be "Californians".

I am really pleased with how the Panasonic Lumix macro feature automatically kicks in when zoomed in Up Close.  Again, my thanks to Ron.

Big Kitty In My Backyard

On Thursday night, I was skimming my neighbor's fallen leaves out of my pool and spa, when I noticed muddy tracks along the side of my pool coping bricks and spa tiles.  I took a few pictures, and I measured them...  and found they were more than 1.5 inches across, and more than 2-1/4 inches long... they looked feline.  No claw marks, with about a 20 inch stride.

I looked closely at our 20 year old cat's paws, and they are much less than 1 inch wide, and less than 1 inch long, and she weighs in around 12 lbs.  A quick google search showed that we Very Likely have a bobcat who is visiting our back yard in the middle of the night.

I'm kind of surprised that we'd have a bob cat being in the middle of the subdivision, and 3 blocks from the closest park, but we are one of the only houses on the block with a pool, and we have no Large Dog in our yard, while 2 of our neighbors have small yappin' dogs.  From the look of the muddy prints, the bobcat probably jumped down from the wooden fence (a 6 foot fence is an easy jump for a bobcat, when they can ascend a 40 foot all saguaro cactus while chased by a mountain lion [link here]).

These don't really look like the splayed, clumsy prints of a lumbering opossum - which my neighbor across the street said used to be digging in his yard.  No, they look very bobcat-like.

We won't be leaving our back door open at night anymore.  A hungry bobcat would eat our house cat for dinner without much of a fight - though probably more of a fight than from the all-bark-no-bite chihuahuas who border us on 2 sides.  Maybe the bobcat is hunting citrus tree rats...  one of whom I executed with a large spring loaded trap 3 weeks ago, baited with guava (not a mouse, a wine bottle sized rat).

Then this morning, I am sipping a cup of tea and looking out the kitchen window, when I see a mass of smashed down, trampled flowers in the corner of my yard.  Upon closer inspection inspection, I did not find any hair, or feathers or paw prints or entrails, nor did I find human foot prints...  but something very large smashed down the previously lively plants that were flourishing the night before.

I am considering investing in a wildlife night camera...   if these sightings continue.

Obama Derangement Syndrome, Still an Epidemic

From The Moderate Voice, I found this sad but strongly correlating article by Dana Millbank on ignorance, poverty, and manipulation by the media entitled "10 Obama Myths" that still promulgate in the reddest states.  (link here)

• Obama conspiracy theories have flourished in the Deep South, where wealth and educational levels are both low. This makes sense: Where voters are least informed, they are most susceptible to misinformation peddled by talk-radio hosts and the like. For this reason, voters in reliably Republican states, which tend to be poorer, with lower test scores, are more vulnerable to misinformation. To use one measure, the 2011 National Assessment of Educational Progress test of eighth-grade reading, all but one of the top 10 states were in Obama’s column in 2012. Of the 19 doing worse than average, 14 were red states.
• “Obama derangement syndrome is running pretty high right now among a certain segment of the Republican base,” Tom Jensen, director of Public Policy Polling, told me. “There’s a certain segment of people who say, ‘If you’re going to give me the opportunity to stick it to Obama, I’m going to take it.’?” In other words, a large number of that 29 percent who said Obama was responsible for the Katrina response knew that he wasn’t but saw it as a chance to register their displeasure with the president. Obama has driven a large number of Republican voters — Jensen puts it at 15 to 20 percent of the overall electorate — right off their rockers.
• 
  
• The ten myths about the President:
• Obama was responsible for the Hurricane Katrina disaster.
• Obama hates white people.
• Obama is a socialist.
• Obamacare will raise insurance costs for consumers.
• Death panels are a part of Obamacare.
• Obama is a bigger spender than Bush.
• Obama is welfare obsessed.
• Obama is Muslim.
• Obama was not born in the United States.
• Obama is coming for your guns.
• 
  
• Read more at http://themoderatevoice.com/191449/10-obama-myths/#tjWMkyIveJ7wzlYq.99

Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ200 California Debut

On the advice of my buddy Rufus Blooter, in order to get better quality images faster & more easily, I bought a Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ200 off of Amazon.  It arrived today, and an hour later I had it out of the box, and was taking pictures of everything I could in my back yard.

It zooms quickly, auto-focuses precisely, and takes - at least I think - photographs with remarkable clarity.  The Anna's Hummingbird above is a mature male who thinks he owns my backyard, chasing off all other hummingbird intruders, and watching me from a distance, wary of the flightless & nearly hairless ape who approaches "his feeders".  (the original image is 3.8 megabytes, 4000 x 3000 pixels, F/2.8, ISO320).  Yes, the Anna's male is sticking his tongue out, if you're looking at this on a high quality large monitor.

This Rufous hummingbird was not yet chased away by the larger Anna's (and yes, I need to clean the feeder...  that's on the "to do" list for Sunday morning, before we go to the beach.  The Lumix had some difficulties trying to focus on moving objects, but at 200 beats a minute, a hummingbird's wings are pretty hard to see regardless.

The macro feature works well, as long as you stay more than a foot away, and THEN zoom in.  If you're closer than a foot (0.98 feet per the manual) then the Lumix software can't compensate for the Leica optics.  It took 4 tries to get this hyacinth image "just right".  (the hyacinth spontaneously 'popped up' all on its own from previously planted bulbs...  a lovely January & February surprise).  This image is 4.8 megabytes, ISO400, F/2.8, and it seems to LEAP out of the screen at me, far better than the 3 megapixel Sony Cyber Shot ever could have.

"Far Away" shots are also pretty nice, on the "auto" setting.  A little "mountain icon" pops up in the corner of the view finder, to let you know its shooting in "landscape mode".

Thank you my friend, for your advice and perspective.

January Gardening

We've planted many flowers around our home, to add some color to the land scape.  The previous owners had renters in the house for 2 years before we bought it in October last year, and the landscape had become somewhat neglected and over-run with "low maintenance" plants that had little appeal.  We've changed that.  And unlike many parts of the midwest or northeast that are frigid & buried in snow or ice, we planted these in the warm 65F sunshine in December and January.  They appear to be thriving in the California winter.

French lavender is Dr Desert Flower's Favorite lavender

My mother called me to tell me that "on our bird bath in the back yard, we have 24 inches of snow. It looks like a birthday cake".  I do not miss that kind of weather, the shoveling required, or the salt put on the roads to melt ice that also attacks every metal surface it contacts.

Train Distractions

Dr Desert Flower recently changed jobs, improving her work environment and advancement potential, but it will require a longer commute.  Luckily Southern California has viable train alternatives for transportation, and she may be riding the rails on the longer commute.  When I stumbled upon this very funny post (link here) I found it hilarious.  Perhaps it may be an interesting way for her to spend her time on the train.   =)

Follow the link to see many many more variations on this theme: tastefully offensive

Superb Owl XLVIII

If you have not watched Colbert's coverage of Superb Owl XLVIII this week, you've missed a hilarious series of shows (links Here, here, and here).   Dancing around copy write and trademark infringement, Stephen and his writers have done a masterful job of making me laugh heartily.

Stephen, you are a genius.  =)

How I Spend Most Of My Work Days

Parody is funny to most people, because it exaggerates what they already know to be true, and in that exaggeration, highlights the silliness, absurdity, illogical nature of what they normally know to be true.

I found this both sad, and funny.  Sad, in that my life has come to this.  Funny, in that the producers of this video nailed it, perfectly, as a very short sample of how most of my conference calls throughout my work week actually happen.

Thanks to Dr Desert Flower, for posting this on The Face Book.

Best Spoken Word Grammy, Colbert 2014!

Colbert won "best spoken word" Grammy for 2014.
link here: http://www.imdb.com/news/ni56718617/
... there will be no stopping the Colbert juggernaut now... Monday night is bound to be hilarious on Comedy Central.  (at least he still does not yet have a Nobel Prize!)

In Three Years, They'll Be Even Smaller & Implanted

Intel's CEO Brian Krzanich revealed "Edison" this week.  A fully powered pentium class computer the size of an SD card (link here).

With the rapid acceleration in miniaturization and computing power, my guesstimate is that it will be about 3 years (maybe 4) until there will be a fully powered & rugged-enough-to-survive-in-the-corrosive-human-body, and small enough to be implanted device that the geekiest, or most severely injured, or the most addicted, or the most extremely lethal & pathological of the homosapiens will have installed inside them - some for good, some for evil, some for just recreation. Il faut voir.
http://www.businessinsider.com/intel-edison-processor-2014-1

25 Unscripted Moments

The FMJ one is a good one, that I did not know was not in the script.  Several others here that are "not for young impressionable children to listen to" - unless you want to significantly expand their slang vocabularies, and get calls from the school principal.  =)

Link here, if the embed doesn't work in the future:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTFQBHBeleE

LVA - Feels Like Love

Ahhhh, memories of dancing in Hell at Masquerade in Atlanta back in the 90s...

No, No Green Bay! No Green Bay!

This hilarious early 90s S.N.L. video
http://smg.photobucket.com/user/stopgo73/media/Reddit/wearethekickers.flv.html
 introduced by none other than the legendary Walter Payton (R.I.P.), is hilarious.  Watching the DVR'ed San Francisco Green Bay game this evening, and how cold it is there in Wisconsin tonight, reminded me of this.

No No Green Bay!  No Green Bay!  Brrrrrrrrrrrrr.  =)

Not A Shark Photobomb

This article by Dr. M is great, and scientifically accurate.  (link here)  I love when facts are used to combat hysteric, inflated, baselessly stupid hype.  Way better than Snopes.
http://deepseanews.com/2014/01/heres-how-you-can-tell-that-the-shark-photobombing-kids-is-actually-a-dolphin/

Epic Western Ridge Bike Adventure

Nathan Jr and I took this bike route last Saturday, the day before he went back to South Carolina.  I thought it was about 10 miles... it was actually horizontally 16 miles, and vertically about 1/3 of a mile, when you add 300+ 400 + 800 + 400 + 300 elevation changes over that 16 horizontal miles.  We did it in less than 3 hours, which means that even though we walked down most of the "Mentally Sensitive trail" at 3 mph, we averaged more than 8mph everywhere else.  Sweet.  Orange County has some Serious Hills.  Nathan messaged me to say it was an "Epic Biking Adventure". I agree.

Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears - Booty City

Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears - Thanks to Nathan Jr for bringing this awesome group to our attention. (link here)

Ryobi One+ Small Yard Quality Products

Back in December, I posted about how nice of a reel mower my Fiskars Stay Sharp was - and I've gotten a huge number of hits to that page coincidentally (link here).  So I wanted to make a mention of how satisfied I am with the cordless Ryobi power tool & lawn products I've purchased since moving to our new home in early October.

For a cordless drill, my basic requirements were simple:
- wanted a solid brand name that would not be going out of business in the next year or two
- needed a 20 to 30 minute minimum battery life, since the jobs I have are not "all day" jobs
- needed a "several hour" or "over-night" recharge capability
- chuckless, since I broke the chuck key on my True Value variable speed 1/4 inch drill that I've had for the last 25 years.
- minimum 1/4 inch capacity, but bigger would be fine too
- something less than $100, that would last at least 5 years, but hopefully closer to 10 or 20 years (I tend to keep my tools)
- compatible with cordless lawn equipment using the same batteries
You see, I tried using my corded 110V drill to turn a stainless steel scouring brush in an attempt to remove calcified deposits on the side of my pool tile, that had built up over the last 2 decades, and I was  deathly afraid of having the plug and/or extension cord drop into the pool and electrocute myself, before Thanksgiving.  So cordless was mandatory and drove the purchase.

I looked at Home Depot (closest to my home), Lowes, and online.  Home Depot appeared to have the widest selection and most in stock.  So after reading multiple reviews, I went with the Ryobi One+ 18V Lithium Ion cordless drill.  Keep in mind, I had not bought a power tool since before the Clinton Administration, so it was unexplored territory for me.  When I got my Ryobi drill out of the box, I was delighted.  Not only was it ergonomically comfortable and fit in my hand very well, but it was balanced, powerful, had a built-in magnetic drill bit holder, a built-in bubble level, and had 3 variable speeds and torques to be able to adjust.  Sweet!  I spent 2 days leaning over the edge of the pool grinding off calcium chloride deposits (while wearing a dust mask, to avoid inhaling the dust & ground-off-sealant fumes.

Satisfied with my drill purchase, I looked for a weed wacker.  I consulted my father, whose yard I used to cut as a teenager & college student in Indiana.  We had a junky old Toro corded weed whacker that never really worked right when I was a kid, and the cord was such a pain.  With a pool int he back yard here in CA, a corded device was again counter-indicated, so I read up on the Ryobi weed wacker / edge trimmer combo, and bought it for less than $100.  It works marvelously!  Powerful, precise, well balanced - it is the perfect tool for my small yard with ~200 feet of fence and ~100 feet of sidewalk edging.  And with some practice, it is even possible to NOT throw whacked weeds and plant material into the pool - despite the gardener's previous desecrations.




I wanted to get a cordless leaf blower, but there were none available that had "the punch" necessary for blowing leaves over grassy surfaces.  On the North side of my home, there's a grassy incline that rises a good 5 feet to meet the neighbor's fence.  Not having to rake it, and being able to quickly use gusts of directed air to "push" apple, nectarine, apricot, and guava leaves down the yard would have been ideal. But alas, the cordless Ryobi "hard surface blower" that I got for $70 at Home Depot (without a battery) cannot handle the job.  I was clearly warned, by the packaging label information, the online reviews, and my father's own advice...  but that's fine.  For as small as my yard is, the Ryobi blower is "good enough".  I can blow the pool deck clean, without blowing anything into the pool.  I can "sweep" the patio with directed air, and "push" the leaves and debris away from the pool and towards my garbage cans (including a composting green waste can that the city picks up for free).  And it uses the exact same battery that the weed wacker uses, so I can finish weed wacking & trimming, then pop out the battery, and power the blower.  It would have been nicer if the blower had a HIGH and LOW speed, but single speed is OK, and it works fine on paved / flat surfaces.  It is practically useless on grassy & uneven surfaces - be forewarned.

So if you have a small yard, without a huge amount of trimming to do, the Ryobi weed wackier / edger combination works well.  And the blower - if you get it without a battery & charger - compliments the sister device very well.  My drill came with 2 batteries, and the weed wacker one, so I have 3 batteries and 2 chargers now.  The batteries charge up in "smart chargers" in about an hour - much faster than I expected.

Affordable, good quality.  Not contractor quality, or capable of "running all day", but that's not how I have been using them.

Not Renewing NFL Sunday Ticket

I'm not going to renew my expensive Direct TV NFL Sunday Ticket package next year, or "The NFL's & Direct TV's greed disgusts me".   I was born and raised as a Bear's fan.  I watched them lose throughout my childhood, and then when I was in college, they won the only Superbowl during my lifetime, before becoming Green Bay's perpetual punching bag, year in and year out under Favre & Rodgers.

Until we lived in Phoenix, and Qwest lost their contract to provide Cable TV through Motorola boxes, and we were forced to go to Direct TV if we wanted to continue cable service, I'd never even considered getting Sunday Ticket. My cousin in Phoenix had Sunday Ticket, and he watched "All the games" in his efforts to keep up to date on his fantasy football league.  I'd go over to his house from time to time and watch my beloved Bears lose to various NFC teams.  Always a playoff Bridesmaid, never a bride.  Dr Desert Flower and I would frequently go to Old Chicago and watch Da Bears play with several dozen Bears fans, all in Jerseys, for camaraderie.  But then we moved to California, at the end of November, and Direct TV gave us Sunday Ticket for free.  "Sweet" I thought.

Then they start billing you in April, Long Before the next NFL season starts.  It's steep, $375 for a full season, which is non-refundabe, non-cancelable, so that by the time pre-season comes around in August, you've already been milked of your cash.  So what does this $375 get the subscriber?  Does it get 100% of every game?  No, not if the game is not sold out.  Does it get you commercial free games, since you've paid so much?  Hell no!  The $375 is just to have "access" not to have 'commercial free access'. Does it get the subscriber Anything Additional on the games that are nationally televised?  (like Sunday Night, Monday Night, Thursday Night, or the 'game of the week' each week?) Absolutely not.

Sure, the rabid NFL fan gets the "red zone" where you can see picture-in-a-picture, and "alerts" if you care about Fantasy Football or "all the games", but I don't care.  You get the 'fast forward summary' that comes out at 1am that shows all the major plays of the game,  spliced together, rapid fire.  And while the 'fast forward' is nice, it is not worth $375.

This season, I could have seen 1/2 the Bears games for free, on Fox, CBS, ESPN, the NFL Network.  The other games I could have gone to a local bar and watched the game for $15 or $20 in beer and wings, and a dollar or 2 in gasoline to get there.  That still puts me nearly $200 ahead, and feeling much less violated.

If NFL Sunday Ticket guaranteed 100% of the games, regardless of sell out or not, eliminated the ubiquitous commercials, worked glitch free regardless of clouds, wind, rain, snow, or any other weather conditions (all of which a Real team, who doesn't play in a domed stadium, are accustomed to playing in), then I might consider renewing.  But I don't want more of my hard earned cash going to the Erebor sized gold pile the NFL has accumulated over the last 4 decades.  To me, it is just not worth it.

This Doesn't Suck - Laguna Christmas

Spent a very pleasant Christmas day with our son.  Took a walk around the neighborhood.  Baked and decorated Christmas cookies as I used to in Indiana when I grew up.  Lounged around the pool in the 72F sunshine until the sun went down, and then sat in the 102F hot tub at dusk, grazing on 3 kinds of almonds, fig jam, Toscana cheese, wine, and beer.

Yes, I decorated the snow man, and gave the stegosauruses and allosauruses natural camo patterns in icing

Fist Bump Lions, Poolside

Now it is dark, and Dr Desert Flower is baking a delicious Trader Joe's ham - couldn't stomach spending $120 for a free range WholePaycheck organic ham - that we'll eat in an hour or two.  A very pleasant Christmas.

Yesterday, as a family we walked on the beach from Salt Creek to Strand to the Headlands Nature Preserver and back.  Along the way, we saw migrating whales - a mom and her calf from the size and shape of the spouts and flukes, probably Blue whales - migrating South along Salt Creek beach and Strand Beach.  We then came home to soak in the hot tub and enjoy drinks as a family before dinner.

No, I am not sad or disappointed that I didn't fly to 15F Chicago to visit relatives.  I do not miss the isolation and desolation of western Phoenix, and we feel far too young and lively to spend another Christmas in Palm Springs (as we did back in 2010).  We do miss our friends in South Carolina, but we do not miss the bigotry, racism, humidity, or lack of career opportunities the South Carolina Upstate had.  Southern California Christmas suits us.   It's really nice here, celebrating our first Christmas in our new home.  Come visit us.

Gluten Free Dumb

I am really starting to get tired of seeing "Gluten Free" labels on food items that in no way, shape, or form, could or would ever have any gluten on them.  Take for example, bacon.  Bacon, comes from a pig's belly - a typically fat pig's belly.  Yes, the pig May Have consumed some gluten in it's life time.  Pigs eat alot of things (Leviticus 11, 3-27 warn against them), and they turn the things they eat into delicious pig flesh.  I am a huge fan.

Duh - of course it is "Gluten Free"  

But I also paid attention in my science classes.  And I married an incredibly smart scientist.  In our home, we are "science literate".  To see "gluten free" on ANY meat product that is not breaded, or soaked in a wheat based beer, or cured in a rye whiskey, or in any way influenced, affected, or afflicted with the residues of any wheat, barley, or rye, is a clear illustration of several things:
1) The US educational system has miserably failed to train our kids to be science literate
2) Marketers prey upon the public's general ignorance and lemming / herd like mentality
3) Consumers who SEE the "gluten free" label on foods that inherently could not or would not contain gluten and then BUY them based upon that irrelevant label, should be removed from the general population and not allowed to reproduce, teach children, or hold elected office.

It would be like labeling fruit in the grocery store to say "no artificial sweeteners added" - of course not, mother nature already loaded up all the fruits with loads of natural fructose to entice animals to eat them and distribute the seeds in their excrement.  Such a label would be superfluous and misleading to the uninformed who might start to think (by way of push-marketing) that some natural fruits MIGHT contain artificial sweeteners?

Any gliadins and gluten the pig ate might have damaged its intestines (if it did not just pass through them, undigested), and the residual peptides(if they were even absorbed into the small intestine) we're metabolized, but they did not accumulate in the belly fat that became my bacon.  I know 1 in 133 people have a gluten allergy (and 1 in 3 hipsters, yuppies, valley girls, nouveau riche, Californians, and steam punks claim they do) and many governments Require the labeling on food packages, but really... is it necessary for foods that Cannot contain gluten in the first place to have to be labeled?

Just let me fry (in my cast iron skillet) and eat my Canadian maple cured, thick slice bacon in peace.  I will continue to publicly scoff and mock "gluten free" labels on food that doesn't require them, and mourn for the scientific ignorance of the North American population who fall victim to such misguided marketing.